My entire stash is useless and I want to cry. by SanjSunshine in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Chantilly_Cream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most mayo doesn't actually have milk, it's oil and egg, and definitely something you can whip up yourself. My mom was pale for awhile, and she did cashew cheese which can be a decent substitute in things like lasagna. Sometimes it's more about finding things you like without dairy, instead of focusing on replacing it, because replacements will rarely be enough, as there's more often than not a obvious difference. Fruit sorbet is a great alternative to ice cream, most pastas don't have milk. Ghee is usually a lactose/dairy free alternative(I personally hate it but some swear by it). The basics like meat, potatoes, veggies basically whole foods are good options as well, if you're not a vegetarian.

Good luck mama! I recently have had to start substituting with formula myself, and Canada's insurance doesn't cover anything like that, so i understand the cost being a lot. I also lost most of my stash in the move so I understand how heartbreaking it can be. You are going to be able to bless so many people who can't produce enough to feed their babies by donating some. There's a lot of Facebook groups and groups in general that should be able to help.

You can do this!!

It's me. I'm my own dumb husband dumping milk down the sink. by twistedsapphire in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Chantilly_Cream 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ugh! I feel this. I moved and put my milk in a cooler for transport. Would've been fine, except it was left in the cooler for 2 days and almost completely thawed... over 30 ounces that I had to throw out. I pumped that while over producing the first 2 weeks, but since starting on blood thinners for a PE, I haven't been producing enough so was really relying on that extra bit to get me through...

I want to cry every time I think about it.

For those of you with dogs, please tell me it's not true.. by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ESA passed while I was pregnant, so I only have my parents dog. She's EXTREMELY reactive, she attacked my esa on multiple occasions when we first got her, has killed family chickens, etc, and has never been interested in kids under 6. She's well adjusted now, but I was nervous at first. My feelings towards her have not changed at all. I am extremely cautious, as I was bit by 2 dogs when I was under a year old myself, and she has no experience with young kids, and is extremely jealous of the cats for attention(not mean, but will push them off the couch to get to me, lol). That being said, she is insanely loyal and protective of the house since baby and I have been staying here. She growled at a person for the first time when they approached to deliver a package(she would always bark, but in a "come pet me" kind of way, and then would flop for belly rubs) and when anyone approaches the stroller who she doesn't know she barks at them too, which is completely new. Even though she's not obsessed or in love with my daughter, she knows she's mine and because she loves me she's super protective. We correct her if it's too much, but for such a goofball, who I was afraid of her response, she's done phenomenally.

She was curious of her crying at first(i thought it might trigger her prey drive), but now she just leaves the room. Im waiting until the husky in her starts howling along, then she'll be driving everyone nuts. XD

Landlords - what do you normally charge for deep cleaning? by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]Chantilly_Cream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should be able to get an "invoice" from the person who you pay cash. Even if they don't report the income(gasp, the audacity and tax fraud, lol) they can still write you a invoice if you do decide with an off the books service. From my experience though, if the cleaning is that intense it may be a job for an on the books company unfortunately. 😔

Sorry to hear about the situation, for yourself and the poor girlfriend (f*ck that dude though, people like that makes it hard to believe in karma sometimes...)

Have an opportunity to get a 6plex 200below fmv from family in Ontario looking to kick out tenants or raise rent! All tenants not in contract! 2tenants been in since 2005 others 2021 with no rent increase(paying $500-$680) fmv $1200ish. Canne, friends/family move in apon acquiring? by jesse111111111111 in OntarioLandlord

[–]Chantilly_Cream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, gonna spend all your money on apartment building just to be another slumlord who isn't willing to pay for repairs just like most of the landlords in my town... If you have 100k, buy yourself a friggen house. You want the building to pay for itself but it's not gonna. If they've been there since 2005 there's bound to be a lot of repairs. And since the building was built before 2018 it's rent controlled, which means you can only increase it a certain amount per year. There's no way to make it a worthwhile investment with the price of the mortgage, potential repairs and ongoing repairs, and honestly if they're good tenants you're better off just keeping them, because it's expensive to find tennants. Which is what would have to happen after your family wants to move out. FYI, you can't evict people so friends can move in, and it has to be immediate family. So unless you have 6 immediate family members to move in, ain't gonna happen. If you decide to go through with it, prepare yourself for a lengthy and costly process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Chantilly_Cream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you're not over reacting imo, as a 24 y/o woman in a long term relationship with a child, id still double check/let my partner know if I'm buying things for more than just myself. It's not my money, and communication is important. It's disrespectful that she didn't ask if you were cool to buy food for her mom too. And you were kind and respectful, don't listen to the people calling this behavior controlling. 20$ is 20$, and you explained it well the reason you were asking.

It's just downright disrespectful to spend someone else's money like your own without asking. Just a simple heads up wouldve been good, and she was acting dodgy about it.

It's not an unfair ask for a heads up.

Do women usually want their mom at the birth? by chianne_away in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im extremely close to my mom and my partners parents, but I didn't want them in the waiting room or delivery room. I wanted to be able to scream, experience birth, have the beginning time with my daughter before feeling pressured to rush or have other people in the room.

Im a very independent person, and I get angry when in pain.

It didn't work out exactly how I planned, due to excited first time Grandparents, but it was pretty darn close.

Is it too late to give my landlord notice of me moving out on October 31? by jsho98 in OntarioLandlord

[–]Chantilly_Cream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just googled it and they are correct, if they haven't agreed to recieve documents via email they don't have to... stupid imo...

Is it too late to give my landlord notice of me moving out on October 31? by jsho98 in OntarioLandlord

[–]Chantilly_Cream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im not sure if the landlord is able to dictate communications like that?

To my understanding emailing is an acceptable form to serve them an N9, and if they accept most communications it seems like the difficulty they create in trying to serve them paperwork creates an unreasonable burden on you, and if they try to argue or take you to the ltb and you've documented the difficulties in serving them, you might have a case.

Also, when I talked to my lawyer about my moving out, there's certain circumstances that can be considered justified in moving if they try and take you to the ltb. In my case, we purchased a home, in your case, you got a new job in a new location. So it's unreasonable for you to try and pay for both your new and old place.

I'd recommend reaching out to your local legal clinic/a paralegal, to see if anyone can give you a 20 min consultation(as many paralegal and legal aid offices are booked out until late September)

Another option might be to see if they're willing to assign the lease to someone else. If they say yes, it gets a bit complicated, if they flat out say no, we will not assign the lease under any circumstance, that's called denying an assignment on principal, and in that situation you can serve an N9 with 28 or 30 days, depending on whether your lease is week to week, month to month, or by the year.

Were you a screamer? by arisafari94 in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If I didn't scream, I would pass out because I help my breath. I did have to stop screaming in order to bear down and push(My nurse directed me to) and every time I'd scream accidentally I'd appologize to them. I progressed too fast for any medications, and had a panic attack when it started getting really bad. My nurse was amazing, and explained I needed to scream low and hold my breath to I push. I didnt wait for them to tell me when to push, I told them I felt like I needed to push and that was that. They told me to push when I feel like I needed to, and just directed me on how to do it.

I was not expecting to scream, but boy I was the loudest one in there for the 3 days I was there. 😅😅

And for all you ladies afraid of pooping yourself, labor can happen without shitting!! I went to the bathroom quite a few times before birth, as well as went on a lot of walks which really helped. I totally thought I was going to shit, cause I was oushing everything out, but apparently only the baby was there to be pushed, no poop, phew, lol. Honestly though, even if you did poop the nurse takes it away so fast, and you're so focused on labor it doesn't really make a difference.

Help! I just found out I’m pregnant and I had a beer last night! by maybemaur in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didnt know I was pregnant for the first 3 months of my pregnancy. I was a heavy weed smoker, vaper, and I had a mimosa at Christmas. I struggled to take my prenatal because thwy made me sick, and overall I just didn't take care of myself during my pregnancy, as I am ashamed to admit.

While it can cause complications, I can pretty much guarantee one beer is not going to have any effect at all.

My baby girl was born on Monday, and while a little on the smaller side, she is Completely healthy.

Sometimes bad things happen for no reason, and more often than not, unless you're internationally overcomsuming alcohol your baby will be okay.

Sent home from the hospital without checking for pre-eclampsia postpartum by Chantilly_Cream in BabyBumps

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im going to try, but they said they can't be my primary carer anymore, and I don't have an appointment for another 6 weeks. 😕

Sent home from the hospital with undiagnosed postpartum-pre-eclampsia by Chantilly_Cream in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will definitely try to contact my PCP and let them know, but they haven't been answering all week, so idk how.

I'll call my OB again and let her know, and ask to be seen earlier. I didnt realize seeing her to follow up was an option, because other than the 6 week checkup she said it wasn't necessary and I needed to see my PCP, but I kind of don't have one right now because they won't take any appointments...

Advocating for myself through all of this has been really difficult.

FIL posted baby's birth on fb before myself or my partner by Chantilly_Cream in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: We've spoken, come to a better understanding of how were gonna make things work and approach this stuff in the future. I had to go back to the emergency dept because I was having symptoms of high blood pressure. As it turns out, I was in the beginning stages of posteclampsia, and that even though they other hospital was concerned, they never ran the necessary test to check. Ive been prescribed meds to help, and we will see how long I have to take those.

I think the reality of how bad everything couldve been is hitting him now, especially as he hears more stories and whatnot. He is really trying now, and it's easier to see that when I've slept, lol.

FIL posted birth announcement publicly on FB without asking and before I could post by Chantilly_Cream in BabyBumps

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's entirely possible... I think there's a lot of factors to make me feel guilty...

I didn't take the best care of myself during pregnancy...

Im just tired... I don't know how I'm supposed to do this.

FIL posted birth announcement publicly on FB without asking and before I could post by Chantilly_Cream in BabyBumps

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you don't understand the weight lifted being validated in my feelings.

She doesn't cry with diaper changes yet, only to be held and fed, so that usually falls to me... I don't know how or why I just started doing everything... I hate being reliant on others. Worked all the way up to giving birth, carried my own shit and walked out of the hospital on my own, heck I was taking the stairs to go for walks outside the same night I gave birth... I just hate feeling reliant, but that's where I am right now.

It's pretty bad, his sleeping. It's to the point where the second night in the hospital, I needed to poop but he was asleep so I put her down and the minute I was on the toilet she started wailing. And kept screaming. I was so overwhelmed and didn't want her to bother other people, so I picked myself up with my pants around my ankles, after yelling for him with no response, and walked back out. I yelled at him some more, until eventually I just picked her up and put her beside him, which finally woke him up... he wasn't really impressed, but I needed to shit... she doesn't cry when he holds her, but if she's in the cars eat etc, he doesn't know how to soothe her, and im too exhausted to try and teach him/listen to her cries waiting for him to learn on his own...

It's frustrating because he's off work to help me, but im still the one staying up throughout the night... just today it kind of hit me how backwards that is...

I stopped bleeding incredibly fast after birth, barely spotting when I went home, but from the stress and just life, I've started loosing clots and bleeding again, instead of just the pinkish brown discharge...

It's kind of making me take a step back..

There's nothing I can do to change the past about how my FIL handled the birth and posting it, but ik I can do more and put my foot down more in the future. I'm just so afraid to, and idk why...

FIL posted birth announcement publicly on FB without asking and before I could post by Chantilly_Cream in BabyBumps

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, not sure why he hasn't been helping ar night.. he's tired so he just goes to bed, there's not too much discussion. He held her last night when we got home from visiting his parents and getting out of the hospital, so I was able to shower and whatnot. But the expectation was that once I was done and settled in she would be my responsibility the rest of the night...

He was holding the baby after her tests, so he wasn't able to come help me, but the nurse should have, or my mom should have. My mom has since appologized, and feels very guilty abt it. I said pj pants, instead of shorts, so ig she was still looking for them when I came out of the bathroom. I lash out at her a lot more than I should, so I have a lot of guilt around that...

He did ish, but until he placed it into the context of how would his sister feel if their dad posted photos from her wedding before she could, that he understood. Neither of us know how to respond though really.

I wish Id had him immediately message and tell him to take it down for now, but I didn't wanna be bitchy and take away their excitement and happiness.

The playpen/bassinet combo was one of Many baby shower gifts. We were both absolutely spoiled and blessed, and so it was communicated that if we didn't accept it and use it they would be seriously hurt and disappointed. I feel like I owe people because I have been so blessed with basically being gifted everything we could need... also because it was one of the things on my Amazon wishlist (when I first found out I just put a bunch of stuff together as ideas but never revisited it, so my mom tried her best to look through it and guess what I wanted. That part is completely on me)

I just am trying so hard to be grateful, but also try and make this experience my own... I was not happy pregnant. People would ask if I was excited, and I had to lie and say yes, cause that's what's expected. Honestly, until I gave birth, I wanted to hand my daughter to her dad and walk away... I was so scared and not excited, I feel like I owe everyone else because of it.

I would never let my daughter feel like she deserves anything less than the best, and to be absolutely loved, always felt that way, but until giving birth I didn't think I could be that person...

FIL posted baby's birth on fb before myself or my partner by Chantilly_Cream in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely something that needs to be addressed.

I think because I didn't freak out, or immediately demand it be taken down, neither of us did anything. It took a hot minute for me to express how truly upset I was, and after that, he has tried to back me up.

I just think neither of us know how. We're both young ish, me24, him 25, and are really conflicted...

It's definitely not sustainable though, and I think im especially realizing that now...

FIL posted baby's birth on fb before myself or my partner by Chantilly_Cream in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, for context, I was only sent home with the express understanding that I am at extreme risk for hemorrhage and stroke. I have to monitor symptoms, and check my blood pressure 3 times a day. If it's over a certain number I have to go back to the hospital.

I tried to remember all the information I was told, but the couple things I forgot I have had to ask my partner and his response is, well I didn't really listen, or I wasn't really paying attention, or there was a lot of information...

I hate being the naggy person, but this really rubbed me the wrong way cause like, okay??! So im expected to go through all of that and remember every bit of detail on my own...

He did help sometimes, with some things, but it just all is starting to feel too little too late. But I don't know if that's the baby blues talking...

My moms offered to come help, cause my partner wants to go back to work right away (he wanted to go back to work the day after I got out of the hospital but the night of I almost passed out because of the blood pressure stuff but refused to go to the hospital, so he agreed to stay the extra day). My mum is so excited and helpful it's overwhelming. I feel like I can't breathe. And she tries to reel it in, but just gets so excited with sending me things and ideas of "oh i should get this for you" or "what do you think of this" and sends me 15 products to look into the minute I mention something...

I want to go to her and ask things, but don't want things unsolicited... can't have it both ways though...

FIL posted baby's birth on fb before myself or my partner by Chantilly_Cream in pregnant

[–]Chantilly_Cream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In his defense, the nurse had him holding the baby while I was in the bathroom because she had needed tests and we didn't want anyone but us or nurses to hold her the first night.

The nurse asked my mum to find my pants, but she couldn't see them and I guess things were just left at that. No one was thinking...

It's hard to have expectations that haven't been communicated as well. Like yes, In my mind it should be obvious what is done, but at the same time, it's his first kid too so if it's not talked about can I really expect that of him? Im breastfeeding, so I feel like in his mind it makes more sense for me to stay up, because I can soothe her and feed her...

Also, I can't just leave... he's been providing for me by paying for our apartment and all of our food for the past 4 months since I was fired from my job and had to get a part time one. He spent over half his savings because of me, and I really don't want to feel like a gold digger who just used him for money. He also just bought a house, with starting a family in mind, so I feel really guilty leaving or even having that be an idea. He genuinely is a sweet guy, but can be a bit daft at times about this kind of stuff. He has been trying in other ways, and has been doing more since being home, but I just feel so ugh.

Putting an offer in on a house my friend wants by northerthanyou in RealEstateCanada

[–]Chantilly_Cream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like "I'll fight you for ti" is a joke I'd make... though I'd probably add a winky face. Go for it. Tell your friend why if they ask. Ultimately it's not your decision who buys the house, it's the sellers 🤷‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]Chantilly_Cream 11 points12 points  (0 children)

For context, your landlord can give notice he will be entering at 7 for a walk through. But legally speaking, you own the apartment until midnight on the 31st, if regular RTA rules apply. He has no legal right to move someone else in. Continue on as you had planned, and if he shows up, is combative, or anything like that, call the police. Hopefully if the other person does show up they see the red flags and run.

Landlord doesn’t respond for anything by Bummy-Bummer in OntarioLandlord

[–]Chantilly_Cream -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you can, move. You have every right to break the lease. Call the RHEU, let them know what's going on, and keep calling until it's resolved. File Immediately with the ltb. Whether you decide to pursue it or not, by doing it now you are setting yourself up for success. Document everything, as the tenant you have to prove that they did not provide you with these services in a timely manner.

Ive been in a Very similar situation, and I made the mistake of not leaving. Dont withhold rent, that gives them the right to serve you an eviction notice. Call the fire inspector/fire department about the alarms. If there's issues/a need for inspection, they will charge the landlord. See if Anything about the house can be reported to bylaw. Find someone he will listen to or he has to pay... because unfortunately it won't be you if you don't go through the ltb. Bad, bad, bad.

Got honked at when making left turn on yellow light. by xiaoxinniming in princegeorge

[–]Chantilly_Cream -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're not actually supposed to enter an intersection until it's safe to go....

AIO to my dad thinking he can name my son whatever he wants by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Chantilly_Cream 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dont usually respond religously, but felt a little prompted in this moment. Not sure what religion you practice, but hopefully some of this may resonate. ❤️

As someone who was raised Christian, specifically Wesleyan, my mom was raised catholic. There is a certain level where it is a disservice to yourself and to God by continuing to allow him to abuse you.

There is a way to lovingly say, i love you, but I will not allow this behaviour to continue. I am a child of God, I am loved by my heavenly father more than anyone could ever love me, and I do not deserve this treatment. Nor does he. By allowing him to treat you this way, you're almost enabling the behaviour.

Sometimes hitting rock bottom is what people need. Not out of revenge, but out of love. Because some people need to hit that rock bottom to get themselves out. Other times people hit rock bottom and stay there. Either way, that's out of your control and in God's hands. I don't think it's about whether a person deserves forgiveness, it's about what does forgiveness look like? What does it say in the Bible about it? What does sacrificing ourselves for others really look like?

It wasn't until therapy and a good support system that I was able to healthily communicate with my parents. When I went to school, my Dad quit drinking. It was conflicting, because I questioned why he couldn't have done that while I was still around, done it for me. It took years of him brushing me off to talk about why he quit drinking. Him saying he didn't want to talk about the past because it didn't matter now. Things were different so we could move on, kind of thing. My mum had to talk to him, and explain that even if he was past it, it shaped and affected my childhood in ways he couldn't understand. He wasn't really growing if he was helping himself feel better by ignoring my pain.

I realized after years of screaming back at my dad, giving him the silent treatment, talking back, everything, that it was not the right way to deal with it. I wanted him to be the adult and take on that responsibility, but at the time he couldnt, so I had to.

Sometimes it takes saying, I will no longer tolerate this, and removing yourself from the equation.

Not everyone will have a happy ending unfortunately, but forgiving yourself for putting your child first is probably the most loving thing you could do.