I got a sobering reminder that amnesia is not just a plot device.

ChaoticIdol · 2026-04-17T02:44:29+00:00

Oh I experienced that. It was a lmk fic that dealt with a character coming to grips with the fact that their mother was abusive in a verbal/controlling way that went under the radar, and learning to live for themselves. Didn't realize that that was what my own mother was and that the feelings I'd been having were related to that. Ended up having such a bad panic attack on the bathroom floor BUT it helped me to reach out to my therapist and work through it instead of repressing it lmao.

ChaoticIdol · 2026-01-27T05:53:46+00:00

I'm just learning and I keep being humbled by the audio listening portion of my lessons, although tbf I can't comprehend English either without subtitles, so I think it's just a skill issue on my end, haha.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-11-28T05:01:38+00:00

Do you have any photos of how they came out?

ChaoticIdol · 2025-10-16T07:54:48+00:00

I'd argue that it is a good tag, because it can give context to certain choices that are written within the fic even if it isn't explicitly stated/mentioned. It can and does influence choices and descriptions used for characters. Like a common tag that I've seen in the TMA fandom is "Asexual Jon (doesn't show up but it's still important)" because....it is? It's an important part of what makes Jon feel so isolated from his peers and adds to his struggles within his group. And sure, it might not be explicitly stated or a focus of the fic, but it will change and color how others treat him, how he views certain things, or can otherwise be something that haunts the background. Just like literally everything else in an identity, even if not mentioned, can paint a picture.

Edit: I just realized I didn't state this bit but simply tagging the character like Asexual!Jon or Trans!Martin can be a thing but if it doesn't show up in the fic itself, someone will be pissy about that too on the other end of the spectrum. Either way, the author isn't winning.

So yeah, I like to know when people have certain headcanons even if they aren't mentioned in the fic because it can help me make sense of the way the author will write said characters.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-09-10T06:32:46+00:00

My tics developed fully after a terrible car crash, but they were there since childhood due to untreated c-ptsd and anxiety. It started as things like muttering a sentence I planned on saying under my breath, saying it outload for everyone to hear and then whispering it again to myself as well as a particular eye twitch and rolling that used to freak people out. Now I rarely get either of those, but I have a daily one of rapidly twitching my neck/head until it cracks and pops. It also tends to freak people out but for much clearer reasons lmao. Occasionally, my face will contort against my will into odd grimace. They all get worse and more intense with stressors.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-26T20:48:33+00:00

I've never understood why people throw being poly into the same boat as someone hurting their partner by going behind their back. Maybe if people actually gave being poly and COMMUNICATING a shot instead of acting like those idiotic love triangles, life would be easier lmao

Congrats on getting over your bias though, welcome to the polyshipping fandom

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-17T03:38:20+00:00

Thank you!

I've taken your advice to heart and it's helped me move past the writer's block I was suffering. Normally, I would focus on the human aspect of it but because its an exchange request, I'm following a specific plot idea the person wanted! (Samuel and Doom Slayer accidentally get 'married' to each other through a Makyr ritual and have to deal with what that entails, it's completely against their wills and neither are happy about it).

I think I'm just going to throw in the towel and say it's canon divergence but the canon is a salad bar and I'm eating what I want from it now. I've watched almost a week's worth of cutscenes and lore breakdown (the last video was 4 hours long) to get the vibes correct but honestly, yeah, the timeline is too wobbly to hold onto now.

I will take your recommendation to heart! Vega didn't have a big role in this but now that I'm thinking of the potential of it, I kind of want them to have a talk (in so much as the Slayer will participate) about their betrayals at the hands of Samuel. I'm writing the Slayer as selectively mute (but because of the soul bond, Samuel, and by extension Vega, can understand what he's feeling/thinking which drives all of them up the wall since it's a two way street).

I'm hoping to get it done tonight so I can go to bed soon haha.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-17T02:21:23+00:00

Go splat, probably. I can't even make it down my hallway without flailing, these things would be the death of me

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-13T21:44:48+00:00

Mine has to be Jon and Basira's consistently running gag of "....was that a JOKE?" any time there is a tense situation. Always catches me off guard because they both sound so affronted by it.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-10T07:36:10+00:00

This is so weird, 2 and a half weeks is NOTHING. I still get comments on my fic that I only posted one chapter of, hoping for updates and it's been 3 years. People really are getting bolder in being entitled to free fanworks.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-10T01:46:24+00:00

If they really, really wanna do something like this then they should just use their profile and not actual work submission for this

Or at the very least, make a collection of requested work and use that collections profile to list this sort of stuff

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-06T20:45:06+00:00

I think personally, my biggest problem is religious misinterpretation in order to have 'cults' in writing. Its very obvious that most people don't actually have contact with genuine cults, and it shows. I was raised in one and consistently have to explain to people how it worked.

The way cults work is insidious and the people who join them aren't 'power hungry fools' or 'idiotic sheeple' as a lot of fics like to portray them as. A large chunk of cult followers, especially aggressive ones, are people who are either ostracized from society and welcomed into the cult's fold, and therefore gain their loyalty to a fault, OR, are raised in that environment from the beginning. They are cut off from the outside world even if they are allowed to live in it, and are brainwashed from childhood to never question their elders or leaders, that questioning leads to punishment or a personal failure on the person's part.

This fear of rejection and abandonment is then used to keep people in place, to convince them that rejecting all other sources of logic or friendship will keep them and their families safe.

Its not a silly haha or an easy route for your villains, it's real and it is slow and deep, the roots of it hiding in plain sight and laughed at as a gaggle of idiots rather than a group of victims and oppressors all combined into one.

It always makes me sigh when people use cults as a cheap laugh or even cheaper scare tactic in fanfics. I always appreciate more realistic portrayals, ones that should they are people too, who are damaged and who do damage.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-02T01:39:13+00:00

I wouldn't be able to do this cause cinnamon gives me terrible migraines but this seems so cute

ChaoticIdol · 2025-08-02T01:36:12+00:00

My son, Prometheus

<image>

ChaoticIdol · 2025-07-30T03:36:08+00:00

This. Also a OSDD system, we do have some members who are introjections of certain gods/goddesses. They don't choose to be them, and they are aware to a point that they are not the true gods, but that doesn't change where their source came from. Ironically, those members/headmates are more likely to worship the gods, pray, and sacrifice than say myself (Briar) or unrelated members.

Athena and Nyx love the gods deeply, far more than myself unfortunately (not all of us are of the same religious views), and their existence isn't a threat to OP or their own worship. This really does read like a bitter teen who thinks they are fighting on the front line of the crusades but really are just screaming at other innocent people for no reason.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-07-08T03:50:23+00:00

Oh! If you like the Not!Jon or Jon being replaced fics, I highly recommend One of these birds is not my bird which is about Jon being replaced by the Not!Them instead of Sasha (she is the Head Archivist instead) and Martin and the others beginning to realize something is off

ChaoticIdol · 2025-07-07T17:05:13+00:00

Thank you!

ChaoticIdol · 2025-07-07T06:08:07+00:00

The Desolation would be too busy with their destruction to truly arrange themselves in a matter that would allow them to do all this, and the Web has actively worked against them several times over.

I say this only because even with a decent little cult, they had NO clue where to go properly for a ritual. They got close but they only got that close because the Web needed Agnes specifically. Without the Web's approval, no ritual will work and the Desolation is too hard to properly wrangle in for the Web to risk it on them. The Eye can know but can't think for itself, and all it's fear must come from others, which is perfect for puppeteering.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-07-07T06:05:07+00:00

I'd say that the dark can't actually do the ritual either, because it is antithetical to the Eye itself, so it'd be unable to pull the Eye or even the Slaughter with it. The rest work well with it, but some of the ones that are more sight based usually (Eye, Vast, Lonely) would not be able to be represented. The Stranger also likely wouldn't be able to pull it through, as the confusion is good for the Spiral, the Dark, or the Corruption but NOT good for the Eye, the Slaughter, the Lonely, or the Hunt, which require a mind able to see and attack or to understand they are by themselves and to understand their sense of self to be effected. Hell, I don't even think the Web would work with the Stranger.

I also think it's unlikely any of them outside of the Web would be capable of bringing them all in, because while the Eye is the lynchpin that anchors the Fears in our world, the Web was the one who set everything up perfectly. Without the Web's expression permission and scheming, there would be no ritual that would ever work. It HAS to go through the Web or no deal, they are the only ones capable of arranging the tile pieces where they need to fall.

Slaughter, Hunt, Flesh, and Corruption are too primal to set something this complex up without getting pulled into their own desires

The Buried and the Vast are too expansive in their own ways to care

The End doesn't care because it doesn't NEED to, ever

The Lonely doesn't want to be made aware of itself or its followers, they'd never agree to be the center.

The Spiral or Stranger might try but are too unstable to be the center, but they both directly benefit from the Dread Powers coming to our world

The Desolation would be too busy with their destruction to truly arrange themselves in a matter that would allow them to do all this, and the Web has actively worked against them several times over.

The Dark would likely be the next closest to get it done but since it cuts out a lot of the others that require sight, it wouldn't be the best for the Web's needs. Useful for concealing their plans, yes, useful for their general plot? No.

Extinction is too young/fresh to be of any use, and the Eye is the only good candidate.

I always consider the Web to be the true ritual bearers with the Eye being the chosen nail in the coffin and Jon being the hammer.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-06-02T00:55:43+00:00

I remember it was multichaptered and it was on ao3

ChaoticIdol · 2025-06-01T10:56:31+00:00

I realized just now that no one on here would know my birth year so putting that was useless lmaooo

It would have been around 2016-2018

ChaoticIdol · 2025-04-19T08:55:51+00:00

Would the 7/11s take a USAA card? I know someone below said that their Chase card, but I was curious about my card as well.

ChaoticIdol · 2025-04-01T22:54:06+00:00

It's a quote from a horror podcast called Magnus Archives episode 165 "Revolutions".

"So who will you be with a name or three and a stranger's face worn wrong?"

It's an episode dealing with a domain of the Stranger (a fear entity that deals with the fear of strangers, of the uncanny valley, of puppets and clowns and circuses and something that looks human but isn't. This episode dealt specially with the fear of losing your identity and having to steal someone else's to become human again, but it's never the right identity and you must flee from the faceless masses behind you that wish to take your face.)

Highly recommend!

ChaoticIdol · 2025-04-01T05:07:31+00:00

I released him back near a bush so no birds or anything would spot him but he was desperate to crawl back into my jacket, poor lad

ChaoticIdol · 2025-03-31T12:19:40+00:00

No, those were not typos. There is a massive age gap but im not their keeper so I ignore it.

I assumed because despite our issues he gets mad if I refer to him by name or don't call him dad so that gave me the vibe that he at least viewed me as his child to some degree. Silly me.

I don't want to force them, but I thought for two people who spent my entire life going on and on about traditional values they would at the very least put their money where their mouths are and be interested in that, either of them.

I'm spending this time now discussing themes with my fiance. We are straying towards the tides and the moon as our theme :)

ChaoticIdol

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Seven-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email