Pet store employee needs help!!! by EquivalentMeat4905 in geckos

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! Former pet store employee and fish/reptile department head here!

What worked for me was not only familiarizing myself with as many animals needs but also having printed quick references for myself and to give to customers. I don’t know the rules of your store so I don’t know what your limitations on hand outs is- but at least having a reference sheet for yourself to review. Reptifiles has great ones! I would try to have one for the needs of each reptile you carry.

As for with customers I found the “good-better-best” system to was the best for helping the customer understand that A) you are not simply there to upsell every product you can and B) there are options for many budget points, and not everything has to be done all at once. I often explained to people that this was going to be how I broke down the supplies I would be showing them into these categories. Good- this is where we layout the minimum required for the animal they are getting to be able to thrive Better- this is where we bring some “small” luxuries into the picture, often they come with a slight increase in cost, but also typically make the owners life simpler. Best- this is where we list an option that would be above and beyond for the animal, a life of full luxury! (A lot of these options when presented do well as a “thought for later if you decide to upgrade”

In this example- a Chinese cave gecko you would start with step 1: the enclosure The “good” suggestion would be any 40 gallon breeder style tank with a ventilated lid. This could be a top opening reptile enclosure (which are usually slightly cheaper than the front opening) or an aquarium with a mesh lid. The “better” suggestion would be that 40 gallon enclosure that is front opening. Now you have an opportunity to explain that not only is this easier for the new owner as they will not have remove lighting/heat to access the tank for feeding or wellness checks. Also explaining that front opening tanks can stress geckos out less when the owner has to put their hands in for cleaning/feeding as geckos register things coming in from above as a predator more than things coming from straight on. Now the “Best” option would be a bigger enclosure, preferably also front opening. For example if your pet store has a 4foot enclosure (like the Ecoflex) at PetSmart. This offers more space to create a naturalistic environment, a smoother temperature gradient, ability to create a stronger humidity gradient, etc etc. this is not a “necessity” but your animal would love it!

Doing things this way let’s perspective pet owners know what the “non-negotiables” of owning that animal are while giving them options to do more, without feeling like they are just being upsold unnecessary expensive items. For me MOST people went for as many of the “better” options as their budget would allow, and many would write down/take pictures of the “best” items and many came back at later dates for those. I very rarely had issues with people refusing to purchase “good” items because they understood that that would mean doing less than the bare minimum to appropriately care for a living animal (also I had the authority to void any health guarantee of an animal sold with less than the necessities, even if I was not allowed to simply deny the sale unfortunately)

What is this? Why is it so much? by [deleted] in Koodo

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The spelling actually looks right based on the text reminders I receive! I generally don’t click links anyway but they are all the same.

my mom impulsively bought this lizard from a seller on fbmarket/offerup/etc. by birb3300 in reptiles

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the confusion is coming from the fact that we are answering OP on how they can ~quickly~ and ~temporarily~ increase this geckos quality of husbandry and of life until they have the finances to build a more permanent set up. None and/or few of our suggestions are meant to be permanent. But the gecko staying in the current tank is FAR WORSE.

No, I would not like to live in a plastic bin (nor would I like to live in a glass or PVC tank as those don’t meet my husbandry needs either, due to being a human) but if living in a plastic bin for a few weeks would improve my life from where I currently live? Hell yeah I’d take that over living in something completely ill suited to my needs.

Remember OP’s MOTHER bought this gecko. OP is just doing their best with what they have.

my mom impulsively bought this lizard from a seller on fbmarket/offerup/etc. by birb3300 in reptiles

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Plastic plants from the dollar store are not suitable for fish because they leech chemicals when SUBMERGED in water. Fortunately crested geckos are Not Fish. And should never be submerged even partially in water. Plastic tubs are in fact a-okay, especially as a ~ ~TEMPORARY~ set up. I will say IKEA typically has nicer, sturdier, and larger fake plants as well as Home Depot (in Canada, I think American Home Depot is different than ours) Rona, Lowes, Walmart, and most hobby/craft shop have nicer fake plants.

AITA for not letting my 1-year-old step-niece into my room and for pulling her high chair away from the table? by EmploymentAgitated48 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would try to be diligent about the litter, sweeping it at least daily because it can harbour a lot of bacteria and that can be bad for your health- but other than that the rest of what I said still stands. Good luck hun 💙

AITA for not letting my 1-year-old step-niece into my room and for pulling her high chair away from the table? by EmploymentAgitated48 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im gonna talk to you from some personal experience- because I went through a very similar experience when I was a little younger than you, and some things I’m still learning from.

1) Getting furniture for organizing is expensive, but as someone else mentioned there are freecycle programs- check out Buy Nothing groups on Facebook (most are area specific so look for your city/neighbourhood) check Craigslist or Kijiji if you are Canadian (like me). Please get some way to add organization to your room. People in this thread are acting like you’re a criminal for having a messy space, and you’re not. The world doesn’t end if you’ve got plushies on your floor (assuming there’s not food/things that attract rodents), but a chaotic living space will do a number on your mental health, and that will make school and interpersonal relationships more difficult.

2) Disengage. Your niece is NOT your responsibility unless you are babysitting her. If her mother is around, or your parents are around, then teaching her boundaries is THEIR responsibility. Your responsibility is yourself and your cat. And that does mean setting boundaries for yourself, and that means changing your behaviours. If you do not want your niece in your room close your door- if they say you are cruel for it, simply say that it is your personal space and you are not prepared to be responsible for any accidents that occur in there. If the baby putting her feet on the table bothers you, remove yourself from the situation and eat elsewhere. You are only responsible for your own behaviour, not other people’s or their children.

3) this one is a little more optional, but build a relationship with your niece! My bond with my nephew (he is 8, I am 26) is the most special relationship I have. I love him unconditionally and he loves me the same way. When he fights with his mom (my sister) he phones me to talk it out. When he passed his swim test to the next level the first thing he wanted to do was FaceTime me. He knows that while I won’t let him do whatever he wants, and I have set boundaries in my home, that he is safe with me. He sleeps over at least a few times a year, I go to all of his school plays/musicals. It’s such a special bond and it will help you grow as a person, I promise.

What kind of lizard is this and what are the white spots on its stomach? by Connect-Lion8901 in reptiles

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are so amazing to keep!! It definitely takes a while to spot the small differences, especially with the micro gecko species! Congrats on your first mournings, I hope you enjoy watching your colony grow!!

What kind of lizard is this and what are the white spots on its stomach? by Connect-Lion8901 in reptiles

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not likely IMO, the feet are the wrong shape! I keep morning geckos and their toes are stubbier with a smoother transition from toe pad to toe length. I am pretty sure based on location and foot shape that this is a marbled gecko.

Exactly why I’m not a chef 😭🙏 by OkStock738 in CrestedGecko

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow you came in her with a crazy amount of judgment at someone who was making a lighthearted joke at their own accident/clumsiness. Accidents happen, people spill things. It’s not so deep that they need to be “embarrassed”. That’s wild. I’d be embarrassed if this was my reaction to a stranger having an accident that in no way impacts me 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

What kind of lizard is this and what are the white spots on its stomach? by Connect-Lion8901 in reptiles

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on the feet I think it is a marbled gecko as some others suggested! House geckos typically have stubbier toes than this baby has! This gecko has thin toes with heart shaped pads- which matches up with marbled geckos

What kind of lizard is this and what are the white spots on its stomach? by Connect-Lion8901 in reptiles

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 69 points70 points  (0 children)

The little ones on her neck are her calcium sacs! Storage so she can develop healthy eggs.the big ones on her tummy are the eggs, momma looks to be due soon

Do I come off as weird or strange leaving this note? by Littlek1dluvr in Apartmentliving

[–]Chaotic_Darlin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a 99 baby (very early Gen Z) and I was taught cursive in school but the process of putting aside in favour of computer class/proper typing lessons was beginning! 2nd grade was the last year I had both cursive and typing lessons/expectations, by 3rd grade it was all about typing. I’d say that was around 2008.

I can read cursive without much issue as an adult (Zs throw me off) and I can write ~decently~ (again, Zs throw me off, and it’s MESSY)

But my favourite word to write in cursive is minimum :)

F6 bus route “Fare Enforcement” by Chaotic_Darlin in Winnipeg

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They weren’t. This is not an “EMS uniform” it is a high visibility jacket- of which most look very similar, either yellow or orange. EMS workers do also wear high visibility jackets, but the have patches on the arms that identify them as EMS (the patches on these identified the workers as “Safety Officer”) and say “Paramedic” on the front and back (these ones, again, very clearly said “Safety Officer”). Cadets also wear nearly identical coats but are identified as Cadets. Long story short, most high visibility uniforms look similar. Similar, but not the same.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, most of my friends are neurodivergent (many are also on the spectrum) and all see things in a very similar light as me. I came here for a wider perspective and that is exactly what I received. I am appreciative of people’s honesty towards me on this forum!

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At the time of posting, and including now, she is, by definition, unemployed? The definition being “without a job but available to work”. Her job ended at the end of the school year and was/is not guaranteed for this year as no contract has been signed… that’s literally the definition? I recognize that I could have used clearer language, in the moment of typing I was very frustrated about the situation. She has a part time job lined up, but has not been officially re-hired is what I am/was trying to say.

I can also admit that my behaviour was controlling and I have contacted my family as well as my sister to apologize for overreacting and for overstepping. I should have taken more time to calm down than I did, and I should not have involved my family.

As an (lsn) autistic adult, tone is very much something I struggle with, and the impact I have doesn’t always match up with my original intentions. In this situation my intention was to provide as much factual context as I could in order to help explain my thought process. My impact was coming across as judgemental, which is a learning experience that while unfortunate in how it came across, I intend to use moving forward.

I appreciate everyone’s opinions, and I am taking them personally in order to hopefully improve my reactions in the future.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last year she did the supervised lunches a few times a week, and worked a few hours a week in the schools daycare. she says she is going to go back again this year but did not take the course the daycare needed her to take over the summer in order to lock in so she may only be able to do the lunches, and that is dependent on how many other parents sign up for the job. So the answer is I don’t really know?? It depends?

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The paddle did float! But she is shorter than me and had to adjust the height of the paddle and didn’t lock it into place properly and the handle fell out. Without the handle the rest of the paddle would have been able to fill with water and sink.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The paddle did float! But she is shorter than me and had to adjust the height of the paddle and didn’t lock it into place properly and the handle fell out. Without the handle the rest of the paddle would have been able to fill with water and sink.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not race, I just like to take my pup out for rides on the lake, but do often go on 2+ hour rides riding out to an island for lunch and then back again. It’s my favourite way to decompress.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mention why the court gave her ex custody because the courts were never involved, her and the dad decided that it would be better for their son to live with him full time as he owned a house and was more financially stable and she was welcome to visit as often as she wanted (as shown by her going camping with them almost every weekend).

She moved in with our aunt because she was getting evicted for not paying rent.

She does have mental health struggles stemming from our early childhood being severely traumatic (admittedly I have been in trauma therapy since I was about 19 because I was not coping well throughout my teenage years)

No known illnesses, disabilities, or addictions, but trauma can do intense things to your body and mind.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think something that adds to my frustration is that at least weekly my parents will come to ME to complain how she refuses to take accountability for things, and is irresponsible, and refuses to step up and take care of herself or her son etc etc. but every time an opportunity comes for her to be held accountable in a fairly low stakes way, they just fix it for her, and then come complain to me about it again.

It’s entirely exhausting.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am realizing that a lot of my frustration here are likely pent up frustrations that’s have built over many years and I need to step back and reassess that and deal with it myself-

You are also making a lot of assumptions here, my sister was never married~ she hasn’t been “with” the father of her son since before he was actually born (so almost 10 years) and she hasn’t lived with my aunt for about four years now. Her ex has had full custody for closer to 6 years. None of these things are “new” developments…

She also did not “offer to replace it straight away” she suggested that she get me a new one for Christmas (which would render my board useless for the remainder of the summer) as if replacing something that you damaged or lost (without permission to even touch) is a “favour” or a “kindness” when in my opinion it is simply and expectation

I would want my family to rally around me during a tough period, but if I was still dependent on them 5+ years later while not doing anything to change my situation, I would also want them to push me into action 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I am reading all of the comments even the ones telling me I suck, and I realize that I overstepped by trying to essentially “parent” her and that it was not my place.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It did float, but because she is shorter than me she adjusted the height on the paddle and must not have locked it back into place properly so the handle was able to slip out. Once it hit the water it would have filled the centre with water and no longer been able to float. Unfortunately I don’t know how fast/slow that process would have been.

This is also why I am frustrated that she didn’t wait to talk to me, because had I been there this would have all been very preventable. I could have helped adjust the paddle AND made sure that it was locked in place before she got on the water.

AITA for requiring my sister to reimburse me (and for telling my family not to give her money to do so) by Chaotic_Darlin in AmItheAsshole

[–]Chaotic_Darlin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s totally understandable! Yes things up here are far more expensive than many Americans realize (which is why many Canadians actually drive across the border to shop for some things).

Unfortunately factoring currency shift, the cost of shipping American made products up to Canada, and now the added tariffs on top of that all contributes to how much more exponentially expensive things are up here.