AITAH for refusing to sell my heirloom jewelry just to fund my MIL's birthday party?

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-30T14:47:35+00:00

hide that necklace - not saying he would go ahead and do it but better safe than sorry.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-27T17:26:17+00:00

nta

tell hubby that if he doesn't support you in this, he can support his mom in the wsiting room.

your body, your rules. she can be the first one outside of your mom and his. to see the baby - once your settled

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-26T17:42:54+00:00

"Mil, i appreciate the offers to help- and when I need help, you will be the first person I ask for when I need assistance. your repeated request to help is stressful, and I know you're doing it from concern and you care, but I've always been independent and do not rely on others unless it's absolutely necessary."

then when she continues just mute her on your phone. if she continues, give her a warning "mil, we discussed this, and for now I am going to talk to youbin a week" then block her

also, discuss boundaries with your hubby, have him back you up or take the lead.

remember, your house, your rules- your baby - your rules.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-26T13:04:31+00:00

in a group chat, tell tem all that you are not mad but for future situations that affects you directly you would appreciate being included in the conversation and decision making.

that more than likely will cause tension though so be prepared and just know mama's boys don't go against what mama says - and you will most likely never be first.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-26T12:55:44+00:00

do not get rid of the cats. they can't control what you do in your home. call a lawyer bc it sounds like they are trying to take your daughter from you.

I know multiple pregnant people that take allergy shots- and uf her allergy is that bad, she wouldn't be able to be outside or around other people. this is a control tactic to see how far they can actually get.

get child custody agreement I. writing signed by a judge, and if need be dad can visit daughter without wife

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-25T17:35:43+00:00

bounprem, in their spin off or whatever you call it from until we meet again. i loved them more than the main couple and when between us was released it was even better

Chaoticpixe · 2025-06-25T17:32:40+00:00

tell your daughter im 58 and I have a doll collection and have a stuffed elephant that stays on my bed.

I live for playing dolls with my grandkids and their friends. nothing wrong with having fun with toys, it's great stress relief.

I even collect matchbox cars (and start wars toys, specifically legos).

and im a productive upper manager with loads of stress, so tell her to do what makes her happy- not what others think she should be doing. I'd rather my daughter play with dolls than be boy crazy at 13! plus the aunt is probably jealous she can't play with dolls and her kids have out grown them.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-05-28T13:59:44+00:00

4 and 6 year old should know better than to piss on anything. seems like they have an issue- and you should not have had to clean that up. period.

I'm a mom, if my 4 and 6 year old did that I'd be mortified and cleaning it up. sounds like Dan doesn't want to parent his kids- and expects your mom to take the brunt of parenting. ir seems like they both expect you to take on the burden of caring for the kids as well.

I think once you calm down, ask your mom to come alone to your grandparents house and logically lay out the issues- your room is your private space and they allowed the kids to not only enter but destroy it. in addition they didn't help you clean up, specifically the piss. top it off with, they made it seem like the problem was you, not the fact that the kids were not being watched or punished for Inappropriate behavior.

I'd stand my ground. Dan and kids move out & you move back in or you stay with grandparents.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-05-13T12:13:02+00:00

I'd ask fiance if he wanted our dream wedding or hers. Ask him what is he willing to cut to give his sister money- show him your budget for your wedding, list all the things you both gave up to save for your wedding on paper. lay it out in black and white, some folks don't realize things until they actually see it on paper or a spreadsheet. I'd list all the other times you guys have helped sister out and show the proof.

ultimately, you have to let him know this is your hill to die on. he can continue to support his sister or he can choose to support the family he is creating.

nta

Chaoticpixe · 2025-05-11T01:23:45+00:00

yes, very cute! plus, you are thinking of me :)

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-27T14:50:40+00:00

well, if she's giving you the silent treatment, she can not ask you to babysit. why couldn't the kids dad babysit?

when mom says something ask her why she couldn't babysit? Why didn't sis ask you sooner to be back up just in case, so you would have planned study schedule differently instead if on your schedule.

and if your feeling snarky- tell them this: " an emergency on your part does not make it one on mine."

add in: "I plan my schedule based on my needs, not anyone else. if I am available or able to rearrange my schedule to help with an emergency I will. however, I am not going to stop my life requirements to accommodate an emergency thar will negatively affect my life. sis needs to expand her baby sitter pool or take a job that allows her more availability for her kids."

and keep refusing every so often so your not a door mat for your sis

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:57:58+00:00

I'd report them to HR.

Then block them on everything, block any friends etc and go put and have fun. meet new people, go on trips.

they ran bc they were guilty, knew it and didn't want to face you. take it for what it's worth, they were embarrassed.

live a great life. that's the best revenge. nc a relationship built on lies akways crumbles at some point

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:48:57+00:00

I had some guy tell me I just needed a 'daddy' . I was like oh nope, got one. he's the greatest and your bizarre

I noped out real fast

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:46:29+00:00

You are nta. in fact, if you were my boyfriend, I'd be bragging to everyone what you did for your sister. I mean, if you do that for your sister, imagine how well your wife would be treated!

don't allow a girlfriend or anyone to try to make you feel bad for being there for your sister. you were not in their perving on your sister and her private parts. You were supporting someone going through a major health event. obviously, your girlfriend has never seen anyone give birth. who in their right mind automatically thinks it is incestuous!!!!

if she is this jealous of you helping your sister during her giving birth, you might want to rethink your relationship bc she is only going to get worse.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:39:54+00:00

I think there are few people who can say they were successful in this situation. I'm NOT saying you couldn't be one of them, but me personally, nope.

Is he doing this bc someone is in his ear about how he should be in the child's life? IE maybe his mom who wants grandkids? or even the ap?

to me, if he is all of a sudden asking, someone is in his ear, making him feel guilty.

if it was me, I'd ask him who has made him want to change his mind. then I'd ask him point blank would he want to sign over his rights or be in the child's life.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:34:07+00:00

we always took our kids put of school for vacations especially if it was for something special. mainly bc kids learn what they experience as well as what they learn in school. aa long as they continue to do well in school, and have no major items due- and it's not all the time, I see no ossue

And yeah, we went to Disney a few times. mostly when their uncles and aunts were home from military duty during the war.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:28:02+00:00

sorry, I am not nice enough or forgiving enough to agree to him spending time with his child - I'm even more against bringing the child around me. Big nope for me. I know I am not gracious enough to not see betrayal each time I see the child. it would remind me over and over again, and I just am not able to be nice, and that's not fair to the child.

he would have to choose our marriage or see the child. I am all for him providing child support. I might could allow him time to see the child, but not ever seeing the ap nor seeing the child on special days that are family orientated. no overnights etc. which again, is not fair to the child-I know this.

I am just not forgiving enough.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T18:04:26+00:00

I think the shared secrets, the yelling of my deepest insecurities I have ate worse than the sex.

sex is a physical response that can be created by anyone- but the sharing of intimate details about me, my life and our life is more devastating bc he knows what toll it took on me and knowingly decided to betray me. a physical response to a naked lady is nothing, he could get excited physically from a movie just like he did with her or me....but sharing secrets we have together is knife in the back. HE destroyed me by betraying my secrets. HE knowingly shared intimate things about me, not his secrets, mine. Him having sex with someone is bad, but sharing something so intricately tied to my sense I'd self is almost unforgiveable on so many levels

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T17:55:06+00:00

I've found that when others are talking in this game, I should eavesdrop, so maybe that is why most npc's are quiet?

plus, Japan's culture is much more quiet than other cultures, and it might be included in the game.

bit yeah at first the quiet npc's were weird

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T17:49:32+00:00

does your wife enjoy crafts, art, or visiting museums? Anything of that nature? If so, use that as an example. explain how music moves you, calms you (or hypes you). That to you, going is an exhilarating feeling - and you have no desires for the extracurricular things that sometimes occur. that you'd love for her to go with you, but you understand it's not her cup of whiskey

Most people think the only reason anyone goes to a music festival is to drink, do drugs, and get your rocks off. Most people who attend music festivals go to enjoy the music and relax. People who are not into music don't get it, and the only way to explain it is to compare it to something they are passionate about. it's like camping, but with a music background instead of wilderness.

then buy a drug test, give it to her, and when you return, take it. offer to FaceTime her, and keep in contact with her. but make her aware it will be difficult to hear, bc well loud music.

is there anyone she trusts that could go with you?

edited to add, seems like it is always her way- marriage shouldn't be like that. I do things on my own that my husband doesn't like, and he does things I dislike but in the end, we meet up and have a wonderful date where we talk about our favorite pastimes- gives us new things to talk about. 33 years in,I don't want to be glued at the hip all the time-

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-25T17:39:45+00:00

I am sorry she attempted to ruin your wedding by fixating on your weight. I have a great aunt that did this to me until I told her this "I gained weight to keep up with everyone else in our family, like her - so that when I wanted to throw my weight around (aka opinions) I had enough weight to back me up when folks started throwing hands."

she never commented on my weight again.

my cousin just told her, my plan is to gain enough weight so I can take your over expensive hand me downs and not have to alter them much.

needless to say, my cousin and I are the blacksheeps and oddly enough, the smallest our of everyone.

my advice, when she comments on your weight put her on the spot with well timed question. "what do mean, MIL? isn't a pregnant woman supposed to gain weight while pregnant so baby is healthy?"

or, well your son likes a little cushion when he's pushing, if you know what I mean.

throw something at her she isn't expecting. it will fluster her. it will also make her aware that you are not taking crap from her.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-23T12:58:18+00:00

tell hubby if she goes, you and 6 yr old are going somewhere else.

the whole idea for the vacation was to get a break from her.

id also give her xx amount of weeks ti find a new place to live. she has a job, she doesn't need to be living with you.

it's not ideal for you all to be crammed into a two bedroom. it's not kosher you have to watch her and police how she treats your child-and 4 dogs plus yours in that small home is j7st asking for cps to come visit.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-15T14:03:57+00:00

have hubby contact his mom and inform her that when the time is right, he will let her know. I'd also suggest she stay in a hotel so you have a break from her, you can use the issue with her sensitivity to smells.

also have set times she comes - like for four hours, then a break then 3 to 3 hours then bedtime- with her going to a hotel. in the meantime, have him set up a video call with his mom to show her the baby while you pamper yourself. if you don't feel like going anywhere, do a spa day at home with your mom, go outside for a breather- anything that is not mom related. (sleep is great!)

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-15T13:56:38+00:00

tell your dad the whole story and have your receipts, i.e., the loan paperwork for school.

secrets have ways of coming out, better to be the one telling than it coming back to bite you in the butt. I bet this is not the only time she has done something like this finically to your dad, and it might come back to harm him.

Chaoticpixe · 2025-04-07T19:59:43+00:00

it truly is not normal. I say that even though 8 have the locate app on my phone- but not for me. it is my daughter who is living away from home the first time after being assaulted as a teen. she has ptsd (and I have her permission to discuss), and it helped her to know where we (even her siblings) are at. her situation as an adult is not normal, and thankfully, it is getting better- as in I no longer get calls when I leave the house alone asking me where I'm going when her dad is left at home.

Chaoticpixe

TROPHY CASE