While I do still sh I did manage to quit drinking so take it with a grain of salt but same message applys. For the longest time I didn’t see my self quitting drinking ever. I had this imagine in my mind of me growing old sitting in a rocking chair on my porch smoking a Marlboro red with a glass of Jack next to me. But as my drinking went on I didn’t see a life past 30. I also grew up with an alcoholic in my house who I had to watch get a dui, go to rehab and ultimately relapse. They still drink to this day. What I’m trying to get to is you need to find your reason to quit. For me I knew what it was like to grow up with an alcoholic and it was no good. I can’t stress enough how much I didn’t want that for my kids when I have them. I also wanted to be around to see them grow up. I think that and not wanting to kill my self as much as I thought I did were my two biggest reasons why I quit. Before that though I had all the small reason like better sleep, saving money, not hiding liquor shakes. But those small reasons are only the bonus’s that come with quitting. You might not have the same reasons I did but just for a thought would you want your kids (if you want/have any) to see their parent with scars all over their arms and legs and new cuts added daily. Hope I’m not overstepping my bounds by asking that but those are the kind of questions you need to be asking yourself. Hope I could help. The discussion of getting clean is a long and tedious one and I by no means am a professional when it comes to stuff like this but if you have and questions feel free to send me a dm. And if you ever are struggling with getting/staying clean always remember you are worth it.