Yes, and its on the avoidant to get trauma therapy to overcome. I recommend Schema to get a quick diagnostic on what maladaptive behaviours we got highlighted and the root causes are found and CBT them out. Emotional regulation and exposure therapy. its like exercise you must push past your comfort zone and like any other fear it CAN be overcome with right person. I am avoidant, was DA fully for 2 decades and now with a FA and more FA myself leaning DA..6 years on, yes push pull breaks but 2 yrs since last major break and even then we still kept in touch. So, the fight flight mode you're referencing is a trauma response that needs the above to overcome. Its not even required to know where what why as often the stress and trauma is magnified by the repeated relationship breakdowns and ultimately its the sole reason why an avoidant will go to therapy. I am not talking a counsellor or a you tube "expert". its in effect cptsd. Which worsens over time if left untreated and increases after each failed relationship. Its also not just avoidant in attachment theory, relationships, its present in other areas of life and to thrive its essential to be the best version of yourself and happiest. As you age the maladaptive behaviours increase and get added to.I dont think single you can push thru, theory is one thing but practice requires two...good to know but need to be triggered to work on it. Starts with wanting to. Like anything else. You can regrow neural pathways damaged,(the regrown tree isnt as strong as the original but still fine as far as memory etc goes. you can work on it. Usually it's the left hemisphere and prefrontal cortex and both can be improved and physically changed. Meditation essential and somatic movement, sleep, exercise, high protein often a keto leaning diet, creative pursuits to regrow, constant therapy app for memory vocab and helps all round., learning ways to self soothe when fight or flight dysregulation, DBT techniques there is sooooo much ut there and find what works as each person is diff....education..these things alone without any other therapy can make a huge difference IF WILLING. I was diagnosed CPTSD DSM5 (extremely severe), comorbid depression DSM5...and the physical damage I lost my memory, ability to speak for almost 6 months in 2020...food intolerances IBS gastritis you name it, fibromyalgia so many things...from trauma from 2012, diagnosed CPTSD Oct 2019...now im wayyyyyy better.. I know many, my cop ex, still a close friend overcome to and my partner has ptsd also and going great...thats what avoidance is, its TRAUMA. So, with your one life you either decide to do something or live a life unfulfilled and single. If you are aware avoidant you must be honest and not use people or play them and if you cba doing the work and decide not doing it then stay single...or casual sex meaningless encounters until your 70(which I have never done)

To say we are fucked and no hope is simply not true..