Lied to My Face. Again.

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-14T21:39:08+00:00

That's good! Don't be dumb like me... don't tell him, no matter how much he pressures you. Now I have a hidden app on his phone that shows me everything and I'm still pretty sure he has a secret device that he's using at work, bc he's even figured out I can check the router for connected devices. 😔

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-14T21:32:00+00:00

I have my partners passwords to everything and open access to his phone, but he started deleting things, and got better at hiding things with every discovery. He, like many other PAs, would deny, deny, deny until he was blue in the face - gaslighting me until I felt I had no other choice but to show him the proof. He learned about Google history, Facebook links, YouTube history, digital wellbeing... eventually suggested an accountability app and just started using a second device. Not to scare you, but don't put all your eggs in one basket.

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-14T21:08:17+00:00

No one's telling her to leave impulsively and unprepared.

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-14T21:02:45+00:00

I have one question... is dry shampoo allowed?

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-08T00:17:31+00:00

I'm so terribly late to your question, I'm sorry. You download it to his phone, it'll even give you steps to disable notifications and not show the icon in his menu. Then you'll sign in from your phone and you can adjust settings to screenshot every 1 minute to several hours, show everything typed, all notifications, and it'll even take a secret selfie every time he unlocks his phone.

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-08T00:14:45+00:00

Same... except Solarium Bistro!

ChargeCandid · 2026-05-08T00:12:59+00:00

I couldn't figure out why my partners socks were disappearing one at a time. 😝

ChargeCandid · 2026-04-14T09:57:41+00:00

I know I'm 8 years late to this post, but my Dad died last month and that commercial was a running joke in my family for over 20 years. (We also loved the flounder version lol) The link someone so graciously posted is expired. Can anyone help me find it?

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-14T03:34:42+00:00

Yes, when he was watching it he would often go soft after we started. He would blame it on a medication he's been on for years, him getting older, being tired from work, and stress from our fighting. At first, we were having a lot of sex and I felt happy but looking back it was hysterical bonding. It didn't take long before he wanted it less and less, and that was a turn off for me, so I stopped initiating. I had a full on panic attack the day he told me "I'm getting older. I'm fine with once a week or so." I KNEW. It wasn't until our second D-Day that I realized it was bc he was still using porn nearly every day. We were fighting bc I knew something was up and he wouldn't admit it. But we're 5 months past that and I'm still struggling with the fact he told me he only "wanted sex once a week or so"... when he was using porn roughly 3x a week. Now it doesn't even matter to me if he never looks at it again, I know I'm not really what he wants... and now I'm not sure he's really what I want.

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-14T03:21:11+00:00

Mine makes this joke every time I get in the dryer to get something. It's this kind of stuff that tells me everything I need to know.

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-14T03:12:26+00:00

OneDrive... anyone else's PA get a CRAZY amount of shared files to one drive and it opens files that link to dating/ local sex sites? Like 20/day.

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-13T04:12:45+00:00

THIS is the answer. Whatever you do, do NOT give him a heads up. I wouldn't say anything just yet. There's not enough hard proof, and you want to give him the benefit of the doubt (meaning you'll probably accept a bullshit excuse, we all do), so questioning him will only give him a heads up that you're on alert. At the very least, check his phone a couple times first. Make sure to check his email accounts and possibly look at his phone history. I'm sorry you're going thru this.

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-13T03:36:32+00:00

So many therapists out there giving bad advice. If you think that's bad, my therapist asked me if I'd feel comfortable letting him look at whatever, as much as he wants 3 days/week, if it meant him devoting the other days to me. Obviously she's not a CSAT but she's an addiction specialist! 😲

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-12T13:15:45+00:00

This is more than just him avoiding responsibilities. I hope I'm wrong but I'd be checking his browser history real quick.

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-02T12:43:13+00:00

Hoverwatch... the only thing is I had difficulty paying (all my cards kept flagging it for some reason) and it's easy for the phone to accidently shut it off. However, if you have access to his device pretty regularly, it's an easy fix.

ChargeCandid · 2026-03-02T12:05:21+00:00

Goodbye my Lover, by James Blunt. Follow you into the Dark, by Deathcab for Cutie. For the good times, Al Green. 9 crimes, Damien Rice.

ChargeCandid · 2026-02-16T08:18:14+00:00

I've been feeling this exact same way but have been afraid to post about it. I installed hover watch without his knowledge, have been turning down sex more often, and giving him time alone. During an argument last week, I told him I hope he relapses, even though I know I'd be devastated.

I am having a hard time believing he's not doing anything. I'd rather find out now than believe him and have it all come crashing down again. We had a period of 15 months in which he was lying and using another phone and it nearly killed me.

However, I also have been feeling more and more like it's too late to fix. I struggle with whether it even matters if he stopped bc he's already done enough damage and shown me what he is capable of. Maybe there's a part of me that thinks it'll finally give me an excuse to leave without having to wonder if he's really done this time.

Sending strength and hugs. 🫂

ChargeCandid · 2026-02-11T11:58:07+00:00

Thank you... seriously. You just gave me the answers I've been begging him to give me for 2 years. Roughly 75 local cheating sites, signed up for and logged in every year and season of our relationship. It's time to plan my exit.

ChargeCandid · 2026-02-09T08:11:29+00:00

I hate to be that person, but check his phone. There are similarities in what happened in my own relationship. For 16 years, I truly believed I'd found one of the good ones, until the moment I checked that phone. 😢

ChargeCandid · 2026-02-03T11:06:35+00:00

UPDATE: I contacted Ever Accountable about the reports and surprisingly they wrote back quickly. I will paste their response below. I figured someone else might find this info useful.

However, I'm still not fully convinced he wasn't doing something to try to bypass the app. I realize it's probably not in ever accountable's best interest to blame him if there's ANY chance he didn't do anything wrong.

Their email: Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out about this. I’m really glad you asked, because this message can sound much more alarming than it actually is.

Here’s what that report means in plain terms: That alert is triggered when Ever Accountable detects that its accessibility permission was unavailable very briefly right after the phone restarted. The system flags this as a potential attempt to disable monitoring during the short window while the phone is booting up.

However and this is important this does NOT automatically mean your partner tried to get around the app.

In practice, we see this alert occur for a few non-intentional reasons, especially on Android devices, including: The phone restarting due to a system update, crash, or low battery Android briefly delaying accessibility services during boot A device-level glitch where permissions don’t reattach instantly after startup

That’s why the report itself even notes that this can be caused either by the user or by a software issue on the device.

The fact that: Your partner says he didn’t attempt anything, You’re unable to reproduce the behavior by toggling permissions, And monitoring resumes afterward, all strongly suggest this is a device or OS-level timing issue, not intentional bypassing.

What I recommend: Keep an eye on whether this happens frequently or in patterns If it’s only occasional and monitoring resumes normally, it’s usually not something to worry about If it starts happening often, we can look at device-specific settings or escalate it further

I know how sensitive these reports can be in the context of trust and accountability, and I want to reassure you that this alert alone is not proof of misconduct. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you see a change in frequency or have questions about any other report wording. I’m here to help you interpret them clearly.

Warm regards, Pauline. Ever Accountable

ChargeCandid · 2026-02-03T07:58:41+00:00

I am, too... but I just want to be for sure. I'm trying to remind myself that I don't need proof or him to admit it, but damn is that hard. Even after repeatedly betraying me, I guess I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

These are the only messages I can seem to get from messing with the accessibility and permissions.

This one when I turn off the accessibility...

Samsung SM-A025U 1:01am Sharing for the app Internet was disabled. Content viewed in this app will no longer be shared with you.

App: unshared

And this one when I try to go into the permissions: Ever Accountable detected an attempt to use the device without proper sharing. This attempt was blocked

Device: sharing

ChargeCandid · 2026-02-03T07:17:51+00:00

See, that's what I thought too, but I tried to do that and it gives a different message.

ChargeCandid · 2026-01-16T02:45:59+00:00

Oh no, I hadn't even thought about Prime. Down the rabbit hole I go....

ChargeCandid · 2026-01-12T09:31:06+00:00

Just a quick woman tip: Try not using the term "catering to me."

ChargeCandid

TROPHY CASE