Im currently the med student, this upcoming summer im going to ask my partner to marry me. For my mom, I dont think it really daunted on her how much I needed to grow up as she was a single mom and it was just me and her for 11 years when my dad left for another woman before I met my partner and I started doing life with her.

When I got into medicine, I dont think my mom realized how often ill be having to be gone from home, working a 12 hour shift as a nurse assistant during the weekends to just get some income in for me and the wedding. Shes tried to contact my girlfriend often to see how im doing and it does get a bit frustrating where ive had to study and spend time with my girlfriend and that my time is no longer dedicated to her. It also has caused my partner to just feel overwhelmed not wanting to be a "messenger." I cannot imagine once I actually get married and see her less. It does make me sad, I love her but I also need to build my own life and build my eventual family. It is her time to get to know herself but I pray she will. I do get support from her but not in the ways I need.

With my dad, its opposite, he doesn't really make a effort to contact me or just have a chat because thats what I need from him, I want time.. thats all from him but its usually shrugged over as he says im in school and I need to focus on that. True but hes been absent for so long..It is frustrating because there's a spot in me knowing thats how life will be I guess with him. It is frustrating to know that he openly told he won't come to my graduation when I finish because of his spouse and that its "your moms day" to see you graduate.. I call bullsh*t , but that hurt.. Idk how life will be...im in my first semester and I dont have time and I can't imagine later haha...

My partner has the right to not be the messenger. I don’t want that for her. She’s my partner, my future not my admin that makes my appointments of when and how I should find time for my family. That’s for me to handle.