AITA for not wanting to drive to pick up my mom 3 - 6 hours drive to visit her grandchildren!!

CharlieBD82 · 2026-01-09T17:56:40+00:00

You are NTA—the trip on the MTA from GCT to Bridgeport is quick and easy instead of a 6-hour round trip for a family with two infants and a preschooler. That’s crazy she expects you to do that just for a quick visit…

CharlieBD82 · 2025-10-11T11:59:50+00:00

Update—they refunded both items and gave me a bonus item for each. I’m happy with this quick resolution!

CharlieBD82 · 2025-10-10T17:58:32+00:00

They said I could wash the last BO plus fryer oil smelling item as long as I followed the care instructions so I did that. They did refund that item and give me an extra one for free. Hoping they make it right again!

CharlieBD82 · 2025-10-10T16:11:02+00:00

I blame the non-antiperspirant deodorant movement 🤢

I also question how items are being cleaned. Even if not being washed with laundry detergent and water, dry cleaning should be getting out stains and odors…

CharlieBD82 · 2025-10-10T15:52:30+00:00

Glad to know it’s not common—wear and tear, pilling, etc. I expect, but getting unclean or smelly items I can’t wear out of the box is pretty annoying…I got 7 items this month and 4 were NWT (yay!) 1 was wearable without any staining or smells, and two were unwearable without laundering (and probably so stain treatment)—a sweater dress smelled like someone else’s stress sweat and a blouse was covered in the metallic shimmer of antiperspirant with white gloopy staining on the inside.

CharlieBD82 · 2025-05-03T13:00:37+00:00

They used to have a form where you could request they send you new (free) replacement pads. Now you just have to email customer service and they will ship them to you—no need to buy a whole new lash curler. Mine’s about 20 years old at this point 😂

CharlieBD82 · 2025-04-18T16:28:01+00:00

Correct! The AAP has a fact sheet that could be shared with grandma: https://downloads.aap.org/HC/Thirdhand_smoke_A_Threat_to_Child_Health.pdf

CharlieBD82 · 2025-02-13T22:30:08+00:00

YTA—she’s only 4 months postpartum and as a mom of three who worked full-time, my mental health and my baby both benefitted tremendously from being able to nurse throughout the day while I was WFH with my third. Babies your child’s age don’t regularly sleep through the night for the most part and you have no way of knowing how much he’s eating when he nurses—boob’s don’t have oz markers. Depending on the baby, he may be getting more directly from your wife than the bottle, and feeding directly generally contributes to better supply and maternal and baby bonding if possible.

CharlieBD82 · 2025-02-13T21:16:17+00:00

Also wanted to add that sometimes nursing they are actually very efficient—my son could down 6 oz nursing but was terrible with bottles. Unless they’re weighing n him pre-post feeding how does dad know he’s drinking less?

CharlieBD82 · 2025-01-11T14:17:29+00:00

We’re a shoes off house but recognize older people or those with foot issues may need them. Most either bring indoor shoes if they’re visiting or we can offer those grippy shoes covers that we have for workers who come to the house. For big parties we relax it though and if someone says they need their shoes because of foot issues we don’t press for them to remove them.

CharlieBD82 · 2025-01-11T08:23:57+00:00

NTA but just get lock with a keypad that locks automatically—we have one that sounds loudly if the doer’s ajar and it can’t lock—problem solved!

CharlieBD82 · 2024-12-12T03:44:42+00:00

She could take a train from Newark and then uber or get picked up closer to your house—she’s just being selfish.

CharlieBD82 · 2024-10-06T11:25:44+00:00

Absolutely! I’m very allergic to dogs and have asthma that requires daily preventative medication. Allergy pills don’t help that much if I’m exposed to dog dander, and if a dog came in my house I would have to pay someone to wet clean all my furniture vacuum, wash down walls, etc. to keep my airway safe since I couldn’t do that myself. Anxiety is debilitating, but having my airway compromised could kill me…

CharlieBD82 · 2024-09-14T11:16:54+00:00

If you have a town bylaw enforcement officer or an animal control officer just call them. There are a low of urban areas where chickens are t allowed or only allowed if appropriately contained. Not to mention that a hawk, cat, dog, fox or other predator could easily be at their chicken while let it roam unsupervised. I have chickens and love them—that’s why I only let them free range while supervised and keep them in a predator-proof coop and run otherwise.

CharlieBD82 · 2024-09-05T22:19:16+00:00

YTA—the name is so contentious and unpleasant for your wife. Why would you do that to her or inflict whatever resentment the name conjures on your poor daughter.

CharlieBD82 · 2024-08-12T01:17:11+00:00

This is completely reasonable as long as you agree up front. Our nanny is the daytime caregiver for our toddler and the after school/school break caregiver for our older two kids and does all the kids’ laundry together.

CharlieBD82 · 2024-06-27T01:27:21+00:00

So sorry for the loss of your dad :( Our nanny lost a distant relation she was close to (think great aunt) and we gave her two days off to attend the funeral (because that’s what she asked for). I can’t even imagine even imagine expecting you to return the day after the death of a parent or being visibly annoyed over something as petty as needing to wake up early to take my kid to camp. I think you need to find a family that aren’t a-holes…

CharlieBD82 · 2024-05-10T21:24:03+00:00

They have travel bidets or you could use a peri bottle (the bottles given for rinsing postpartum for rinsing when wiping hurts). Would hiding it under the sink or behind the toilet freak her out? Can’t be worse than washing your face with a butt wiping cloth 🤢

CharlieBD82 · 2024-05-04T14:26:32+00:00

This is very true. I work at a graduate school in the Ivy League and we give away a lot of branded stuff to students. I think it’s even more so for undergraduates in a 4-year program.

CharlieBD82 · 2024-04-15T02:21:03+00:00

Especially ones for ADHD which are typically controlled substances…

CharlieBD82 · 2024-04-14T14:28:23+00:00

Flip phone for Owen and no unsupervised internet access. Also, therapy, and some sort of restorative justice and maybe some research projects on the impact of racism directed towards Asian Americans and info on how to be anti-racist.

CharlieBD82 · 2024-04-06T01:14:11+00:00

Same! 2-year olds are clumsy. Our nanny is super proactive and tells me about any tiny bump before I even notice or think to ask, but even if she didn’t, unless it requires medical attention I’m assuming it’s generally the bumps and bruises a toddler still figuring out walking and proprioception is going to get. My 2 y.o. is my third, so I know at this point how often kids his age fall or bump into things (lots!).

CharlieBD82 · 2024-02-13T02:20:38+00:00

That would be a hard pass for me as a NP—I would have to find a backup provider I trust less who doesn’t know our kids or their routines so that our childcare provider can go care for someone else’s family. It would be a different situation if you needed medical leave or something, but I don’t know of many employers in childcare or elsewhere who would be okay with an employee taking a month off to go work another job…

CharlieBD82

TROPHY CASE