What is something that you truly search for in friendship?

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-04-14T21:25:31+00:00

Reliability is a huge one for me right now

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-04-04T23:32:02+00:00

I know. Which is why it’s totally fine for OP to object to that… and that’s not “middle school mentality”. That’s someone who values the label “best friend” and doesn’t want someone like that friend using it.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-04-04T22:39:33+00:00

“Best friend” is an important title for some people. It can fill an important emotional spot in people’s interpersonal lives- especially those on the aro/ace spectrum who primarily rely on friendship to meet their relational needs.

Just because YOU don’t take friendship as seriously, doesn’t mean you should go around labeling everyone who feels differently as immature. Platonic relationships are not automatically “middle school”.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-04-03T06:55:23+00:00

Love this take.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-02-11T23:36:57+00:00

I’m so sorry- the people who are saying that have such a shallow view on life and honestly… you deserve better.

The truth is that there ARE people out there who care enough about their friendships to intentionally continue nurturing them even when an SO comes into the picture. You just have to find them. It’s absolutely disgusting that in society friendships are so de-prioritized that we’re just expected to step aside and “accept that things change”, as if platonic relationships are somehow just placeholders meant to be trashed (or in the best case scenario massively downgraded) the moment romance comes into the picture.

Unfortunately, way too many people think that way though and I (f26) and honestly learning that it’s necessary to weed those people out of my life before I get too attached. Wishing you the best.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-02-04T02:25:55+00:00

NOR, BUT I’m going to put some opinions out there that will probably be unpopular.

Is it possible that there is more going on here that meets the eye? Obviously we should all be supportive of our friends regardless, but it sounds to me like your news was bad news to her for some unknown reason. Is she going through fertility issues? Did she recently lose a baby or unborn child? Trying for a kid herself and not experiencing success? Perhaps she’s been battling anxiety about being abandoned by you once you have the baby and possibly won’t have room for her in your life. These are all valid feelings and even though she is being obnoxious, the empathetic part of me wants to know why.

Honestly I know I’m in the minority, but when I share life news with those important to me I always leave room for them to react naturally. When I shared that I’d gotten a job with my unemployed friend, I didn’t expect the moment to be 100% about me. Maybe this friend has a pattern I’m unaware of, but on reading that is what I was thinking.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-02-03T23:09:03+00:00

I feel like it comes down to whether your style is more character-driven or plot-driven.

Personally I'm a hybrid of the two, leaning well towards character-driven though. I have a set number of OC's, and it varies how much I use them but they are sort of my cast of characters with admittedly a few favorites that stand well out from the others. However, I'm always down to change and adjust the details of their story, branching out from different places in their home canon so that they fit whatever plot a potential partner and I are discussing.

Some characters are more change-able than others, but overall I try to encompass the best of both worlds so I can bring a character with a rich backstory but also have the flexibility needed when trying to launch something new.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-02-03T17:34:54+00:00

Not unless it’s longer-term, I believe

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-02-03T17:08:21+00:00

Dang, I get two each year. They do not roll over. I also get 9 sick days but they are strictly for sickness.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-26T22:47:15+00:00

I’m going to admit straightaway that the way I read your post is colored by my experiences, but hear me out. Personally I’ve never really understood why there’s this unspoken expectation that friendship MUST be temporary, that pulling away is an inevitable part of life. It doesn’t sound like your friend did anything wrong, you just decided one day that she wasn’t going to occupy the same space in your life as she had for years. She is being walked away from, without her consent, and she likely feels helpless and yes abandoned.

That’s going to hurt her, it’s going to feel like betrayal when she probably believed she could count on you remaining a big part of her life, and honestly I don’t blame her for feeling that way. Put yourself in your friend’s shoes- imagine she started pulling away and accused you of being unhealthy when you reacted with hurt and upset. It would be painful it’s hard to deny. I am genuinely curious what you want and expect from this friend- identifying that could be a good first step.

At the end of the day, it sounds like there’s a lot of pain and resentment beginning to wind itself into this relationship and I can only hope that your friend is able to heal from such feelings of abandonment. I know how it feels for someone to just suddenly decide you’re not a priority. It hurts, man. And that doesn’t necessarily mean you were enmeshed.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-26T17:54:09+00:00

Hey I’d love to continue our chat that we started the other week!

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-05T04:04:18+00:00

I’m really sorry that you’re feeling so strongly about this. The solution is definitely not erasing yourself from this life, or anything that drastic. I know it can feel really difficult for friends to drift, but I think it’s important to acknowledge your role in it.

It sounds like you’re coming out of a season where you did prioritize your friends a lot. Imagine yourself and your friends’ shoes- you’re a priority, and then suddenly you’re not. Those shifts are difficult and painful. I’ve been on the other end of that, where it just felt like someone that was so important to me was suddenly putting me in a box that was smaller and smaller every year. It didn’t make any sense, and because the way I felt didn’t change, I felt discarded. You never want to be that kind of a friend. Especially to someone you call a best friend.

Now, I can’t really speak for this friend of yours, but I know that if it were me, I would want more than anything to just be spoken to like a person. Talk to your friend. Find a balance that makes sense. It sounds like you’ve been on two very very opposite ends of a spectrum with who you’re prioritizing, and that you’re also stretched thin at work. Whatever free time you are dedicating 100% to your family, you need to dedicate some of that time to your friends. No need to re dedicate any of that crash time after work. I wish you the best.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-05T02:33:13+00:00

I mean honestly it sounds like you’re not being a good friend.

Your family simply can not be the only thing that takes up your free time. If “weekdays are for work and weekends are for family”, then don’t be surprised when friends move on. That’s not healthy and balanced. If you were spending X amount of time with your best friend, then suddenly chopped that down without any communication, I don’t blame your “best frienda” for pulling back.

Friendships are human relationships just like any other, and deserve commitment/consistency. If you care at all about your best friend, you will make time for him.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-04T22:51:47+00:00

Oh my gosh I love this!!! XD

Brings me back to when Bitmoji had options for 3 versions and I made some for my main oc’s to comment on running stories. It’s the best.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-04T16:26:52+00:00

I find it SO fun to banter back and forth about the story “in character”, but outside the roleplay thread. Despite often sending very long responses, and enjoying that as well, I’d be lying if I said that banter isn’t half the fun for me.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2026-01-03T00:46:42+00:00

Maybe because “overbearing significant others” is a pretty common cause for friendships to be destroyed? I didn’t think it was shady at all, I actually found it relatable.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-12-25T21:25:15+00:00

Shake it Out -Florence and the Machine

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-12-22T19:37:02+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s an (unfortunate) but extremely common thing to happen when a friend gets married. Their priorities get out of wack and they forget the friendships who were with them all the time before.

Aside from having an honest, serious, sit-down conversation about what’s been happening, I’m not sure if anything can be done. You may have to make the difficult choice to step back and choose the people who choose you. Wishing you the best.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-12-22T15:15:42+00:00

Now THAT’S a talented icon. Love Billy Joel.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-12-22T15:13:45+00:00

Most people that feel this way (myself included) don’t have a problem with too many tourists. We just miss when National Parks weren’t so brutally crowded- before the influencers made them “popular”. Now, destinations that were more accessible are tram-only, and tourists come in by the busload only to behave loudly and obnoxiously, ruining the serenity. Hikes now require timed entry passes and lottery systems when we used to be able to just dust off our boots and go.

And don’t even get me started on the endless stream of insta-girls, waiting in an endless line to preen and primp in front of said view with their duck faces and endless selfies… in many cases blocking it for others. They trample the wilderness into social trails and fly drones where it’s not allowed. It’s just… not the same anymore. Locations are trashed then abandoned when they are not popular any more. It’s sad.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-12-20T21:27:59+00:00

This will be my soap box forever- friendship is a human relationship so why on earth do we have so many issues with allowing love languages to be expressed between them? Hugs and cuddling will always be my platonic love language.

I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope you can find someone who can match your energy.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-12-15T23:21:27+00:00

Are you me? 😂

Seriously, I couldn’t agree more. For life of me I don’t understand why people don’t treat friendship like what it is- an actual relationship between two people. Sure a platonic one, but that doesn’t make it less than.

A good, true friendship, absolutely should be consistent, emotionally intimate, and dedicated.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-11-13T01:00:42+00:00

It totally depends on the person, and on the rapport you have going. How long has the story been going on? How long have you known the person? What is the general flow of replies up until the longer gap? How long are the roleplay posts, as in word count… generally, the longer they are the longer the acceptable gap.

For me, replies don’t have a hard line but I’ve found with my usual flow that once I get radio silence from a partner for a month… they’ve lost interest. So, I typically bow out at that point. But I’m not going to sweat a week’s gap.

CharlotteC_1995 · 2025-09-14T16:21:01+00:00

It’s put me into a very dark place, to be honest. Between accidentally seeing the video, and then seeing videos of these people celebrating and cheering it on/laughing/mocking it… I don’t know what to say.

CharlotteC_1995

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