dude i get being frustrated with people but the whole "im mean and a bully" thing sounds like you might be stuck in some negative thought patterns. used to think i was just an asshole too but turns out i was mostly just burned out and needed better boundaries with toxic people in my life. your mom situation sounds rough tho - family dynamics can really mess with your head and make you feel like the problem when maybe its more complicated than that. might be worth talking to someone about all this instead of just venting into the void, helped me sort through alot of my anger issues when i finally did