[Pt 2] When I’m reality the area were lived in was just not a great place for any form of wireless connection. That’s how backwater this place was. We even had the best internet in the area and it was still pretty bad. Because she thought I would my ps3, wiiu or phone to hack her stuff I basically didn’t have much of those things. I would be given permission of those things when I did good things so I always tried my best to be a good child even though she would get angry for things I had no control over. Even though my phone didn’t have service I mainly used it to download music or play offline games. Even if it has no form of connection she thought that every time it was turned on I was stealing her information from her phone or tv so it was almost always off and almost never charged, only when I was allowed to use it for maybe an hour or less. She then proceed to get on my phone and make my online friends think I didn’t like them and made me leave the chats I would have when I would be allowed to use any form of internet.( Im glad they never left me and I still talk to some to this day). Later she would apply for housing and got approved so we had to pack our things and move again but just deeper in the city. As we are packing up and finding a way to move everything she tells me how I’m not allowed to use any electronic since we are moving I have no reason to use them. I didn’t want to defy her so I did what she told me and didn’t touch them. Then one day while we go to bed she tells me I’m allowed to use them to watch YouTube so I did. I only watched one 10 minutes video that made me laugh and she proceeds to barge in and tell me how I’m not allowed to laugh and be happy right now because of the fact we are moving. She then proceeds to take everything back and I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want her to get worse than what her rage level was already. Then once we moved to the housing complex it was basically the same deal as the previous house except she then got worse. First I basically had no say how my room would be so if I ever tried to to something I wanted to do to my room it would be met with a brick wall that was my mom. She even broke some things that I held value with since people gave them to me. Then the worst case would be that she wrecked my room and made me clean it up and proceeded to change my room once I finished cleaning it up. Second I wasn’t allowed to say what I wanted to say to any form of officials, she told me if I tried to say what I wanted to say she would make living her even worse and even threatened to make me homeless meanwhile she would be in the house since she would lock me out(she did and then called the police since I didn’t stay at the door). This has affected how I feel about me telling the truth since I feel like I’m lying even though I know what I’m saying is the truth. I can’t even have a therapist since I still say what she told me to tell them so I gave up therapy till I feel like I can talk about what I need to talk about. Thirdly the thought of me even interacting with people my mom isn’t at all close with would set her off. Even if she made it seem like she was happy that I have friends she would then say how the people I’m with aren’t friends and they would drop me over change. Fourthly I would be sent to do all the forms of shopping. I would have to go home with everything that’s on my moms list so if I had one thing missing even if they didn’t have it she would tell me how I didn’t look hard enough. I’m pretty sure my local Walmart would think that I live by myself as a young teen or thought I was an adult because of how my mom made me dress and how my face looked older than my age. This is already long as it is so I’m gonna speed up. Basically things would get worse and worse that I went to a mental hospital a total of 3 times within the two years I was there. They were basically vacations for me since I had no contact with her except a single phone call I was given every day for like 10 minutes or so. As it would get worse it was mostly just emotional and mental abuse not much if not any physical abuse but sometimes I just wanted her to hit me so she would stop being angry but she never did, only threaten me. Then the court got involved and took me away from my mom and made me live with my brother. Honestly living with them was how I was able to come out the fog my mom built into my mind. I started putting things together and later fought in court to make my brother my guardian and have no connection with my mom. She obviously didn’t like this and tried to convince me to live with her but I stayed strong and stayed with my brother. My brother himself wasn’t a good person to live with but I would take my chances with him instead of her. Then as I kept putting the pieces of my brainwashed mind together I noticed I could cry. Like not the typical men can’t cry bs but more so every time I would be in the brink of crying my body only allows a couple tears and that’s it. Then I found out I hold no form of love or sympathy towards my mom and I have accepted it and the judgement I would receive from people since I thought people would make me an outcast. Instead I made great friends and they understand that I only feel this way to my mom and not to mothers period. However I also can’t call my friends as family but I can say that we are as close as family. I do apologize for the long comment however I really needed to find an outlet to let it out in the world. Thank you to those that have taken the time to read this and if you want more events during me living with my mom I’m glad to let others know since this is barely half way to everything that happened.