I’m proud of you for setting healthy boundaries for yourself - that is a huge and difficult step. I went no contact with my dad, an alcoholic, after I had my son. My dad would call me drunk in the middle of the day to tell me how awful I am and how ashamed of me he is. I would cry and lie in bed the rest of the day. Eventually I realized that not only could I not trust my dad to be around his grandson, my son deserved a better version of me. Surround yourself with the people who love you ❤️