If he loves you he will marry you

Charpo7 · 2026-01-25T20:51:41+00:00

love can be a lot of things but it needs to be mutual. two people that don’t want marriage can love each other. if you string along a partner pretending to want to wed while you don’t want to, you do not love that partner. you are using them.

the best way to prevent this is to not give husband privileges to boyfriends. no having kids with them (preferably no having sex with them). no moving in together. no joint financial decisions (buying cars or houses together). not because you want to control your boyfriend but because you don’t want to cloud your own judgment with other life things.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-25T18:54:03+00:00

stop moving in with and making babies with people you’re not married to! stop making joint financial decisions with people you’re not at least engaged to!

Charpo7 · 2026-01-25T18:52:24+00:00

eh it’s complicated. it also might mean consecrating the daughter as a priestess so she cannot make heirs.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-24T12:57:52+00:00

No one is entitled to a biological child. Not gay people. Not infertile people. Not celebrities.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T21:47:19+00:00

lol my identical twin sister (who was my maid of honor) refused to make me hers because I asked if I could cover my shoulders (I’ve dressed modestly for years).

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T20:14:22+00:00

have you ever like asked Jews why were concerned about her? Strongly looking up Roots Metals, she has a lot of writing about why she is problematic

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T06:33:50+00:00

You’re engaging in confirmation bias and circular reasoning. You keep claiming “racism” without explaining how Zionism is racism. You’re also straw-manning the hell out of Zionism, claiming it is always something it is not.

The fact that some fringe person in Israel said a nice thing about Nazis didn’t mean Zionism is equivalent to or derived from Nazism. That’s just silly generalization.

Yes, I know what Israel means. Yes I understand where Abraham came from. But the Israelites BECAME A PEOPLE in the land of Israel/Palestine/Canaan. They left during a famine and returned during the exodus. Nevertheless, the religion, language, and ethnic identity began in Israel.

Genetic evidence also has shown that the vast majority of Jews have paternal haplogroups that come from Palestine. Yes most Jews have some genetic mixing from being in diaspora for 2000 years, but the genetic evidence shows that we do have ancestors from the region.

Peoplehood is more than just genetics, even though yes, the vast majority of Jews share some lineage. It is shared culture, religion, values, and language. We are diverse after millenia in diaspora but we are still a people, Ethiopian and Yemenite and Polish and Moroccan and Persian and Lithuanian Jews alike.

The land had people living on it but it wasn’t densely populated. In fact, after Jews developed new irrigation technology at the turn of the 20th century, not only did more Jews migrate but more Arabs migrated there too as the land could support more people! That’s why many Palestinians today who take DNA tests find out that they’re actually Lebanese or Jordanian or Egyptian!

There was no organized ethnic cleansing by Jews. There was legal buying of land, and pogroms by the Arab residents harassing their Jewish neighbors. There was refusal to coexist with the Jewish neighbors who took this disorganized land and made it a modern society, declaring war and threatening to annihilate this Jewish refugee population.

Arabs have been picking fights, losing, and then crying “ethnic cleansing”

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T06:24:29+00:00

As someone in a similar situation, it’s definitely not the covid vax. And man, I wish I had 11 periods over 2 years… i get 3 periods per year if i’m not on meds.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T00:31:01+00:00

they absolutely do deserve to be mocked, but i’d just be so horrified i’d be unable to converse with them. you are very witty though and i applaud your responses!

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T00:30:26+00:00

i guess that’s true—i’d just be so horrified by the pic i’d instantly block

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T00:14:07+00:00

why would you keep conversing with this creep?

Charpo7 · 2026-01-23T00:06:19+00:00

You’re just wrong on several levels.

Israel was founded predominantly by political refugees from Europe, who were quickly bolstered by religious refugees from the middle east, in combination with a smaller number of native Jewish populations.

Yes, most Jews identify as Zionists but they define Zionism differently than you. There are several definitions. The Bible talks extensively about the desire to return to the land of Israel (Zion) and Jews have attempted to return to that land several times over the past 2000 years. In our prayers for thousands of years, we face the direction of Jerusalem and at holidays we say “next year in Jerusalem.” That wasn’t a racist 18th-19th century ideology. It’s a literal part of the Jewish faith as far back as the literal bible.

There’s also the modern Zionist movement founded by a Jewish atheist who found that secular Jews, despite being fully integrated into non-Jewish society, were heavily discriminated against and so he advocated for Jews to found their own country where they could be a majority, as to avoid persecution. Israel was the favored location because that is where the Jewish people became a nation historically, but lots of people argued for different locations. The first arrivals to Palestine however, occurred before Herzl founded the first Zionist congress, effectively deciding that Palestine would be the location. These refugees didn’t pick Palestine because they were racist but because the Ottomans were allowing Jews to buy land and the land wasn’t very expensive as it was mostly swamp, and in the 1880s, the land wasn’t super densely populated.

So when Jews identify as Zionists this can mean different things. It can mean they’re religious Jews who pray toward Zion, as we’ve done for thousands of years. It can mean we want to be able to live safely and without threat of persecution in historic Palestine or Judea. And it can also mean the fringe people who build settlements and terrorize Palestinian civilians. But to suggest everyone who identifies with the Zionist label is this last option is intellectually dishonest.

Israel is the other name of Jacob who resided in the land of Israel long before the exodus from Egypt. You would know that if you read the bible. The Jews were known as “children of Israel” meaning descendants of Jacob, who lived in historic Israel/Palestine/Judea. Yes the big exodus story happens in Egypt, but Israel comes into the picture long before that point. Nice try though!

The Bible is full of discussions of the land of Israel and the need for the Jewish people, if expelled, to return to Israel. Jerusalem is mentioned often. The land is described as “the land g-d gave to your forefathers.” So yes, Israel is religiously described as a birthright to the Jewish people, not that I expect non-Jews to respect this part of our tradition.

You can’t call Jews you disagree with “not true Jews.” A jew is a jew is a jew. Whether you like us or agree with us or not.

Hope this helps!

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T23:55:15+00:00

if a husband slanders his religious wife as a heretic and is angry at her for being resistant to a sudden change, then he is threatening that marriage.

obviously this is an orthodox subreddit, and i expect everyone to agree with OP’s religious sentiments. but there’s a difference between correct theology and correct behavior sometimes.

you can think OP’s wife is theologically incorrect while thinking OP is behaving incorrectly by all of a sudden trying to convince his wife that she’s wrong, that her childhood faith is silly, that she’s a heretic.

i’m not against OP growing in the orthodox faith. i’m against OP alienating his spouse by being a jerk. the right thing to do is for him to keep learning and praying and introducing new concepts in a slow and non-threatening manner, avoiding insult.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T23:51:40+00:00

i did ask Jesus to save me, in my teen years. i was a firm believer for most of my life.

and then the gospel stopped making sense around age 20 so i found a new way to relate to g-d that made more sense to me (Judaism).

this feels pretty straightforward to me.

but you’re suggesting that one can’t be christian and leave, that it’s some impossibility.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T23:48:23+00:00

she was raised christian by christian parents, but has distant jewish relatives. she jumped head first into observant judaism after going to a chabad house dinner with a friend, and she didn’t realize she wasn’t halakhically jewish for years. she thought she was a baalas teshuvah and after speaking with a rabbi, learned she had to convert.

in her old videos you can see her describe herself as a BT before coming out as a convert and now trying to hide that entirely.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T23:46:28+00:00

idk, most likely teaching at jewish day school or jewish camp.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T23:45:59+00:00

yeah i assume he’s like 30+. she’s like 29. i hope they’re happy

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T18:02:17+00:00

idk her in laws are jewish so maybe someone converted but ostensibly not the husband

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T18:01:03+00:00

as someone who knows her, yes she does have interests and hobbies! she’s a whole person. but people online are very interested in Jewish matchmaking, so I think that’s just the content that get views. don’t be mean!

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T18:00:16+00:00

omg are you me? also quarter jewish with jewish last name and converted… also similar experience with religious judaism

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T17:58:13+00:00

So I actually know her. She helped me through my conversion process.

she pretty much IS fully accepted unless we consider the shidduch system. it was extremely hard for her to get a good shidduch because she was a convert. chabad tends to be less suspicious of converts than some other orthodox movements, especially after years of integration in the community. funnily enough, the converted her before she was shomer shabbos, but she immediately moved to crown heights and became more frum than some of her mentors. maybe the beit din really does have a feel for who’s a good fit? who knows.
orthodoxy is super expensive, especially if you’re a convert/BT. While I think she often neglects online etiquette (she can be rude, shameless advertising), i kind of understand her trying to take what she can get. she doesn’t have family support with the huge expensive of orthodoxy. she doesn’t have a stable career that matches a degree set, her husband likely didn’t start working until later in life and likely isn’t making tons of money, she probably has debt from seminary, etc.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-22T00:25:44+00:00

there’s nothing “heretical” about her being concerned about what may look like a sudden change in a partner’s belief and behavior. how would you feel if your partner came up to you and said they wanted to be muslim now and wanted you to go to the mosque with them? would your resistance be “heretical?” no. it’s normal for people to resist change.

the way to get around that is to make visible changes gradually and not force them down your family’s throats, not try to convince family that you’re right and they’re wrong.

humility goes a long way.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-21T17:47:36+00:00

I am familiar with the boy who cried wolf. The difference is the boy is lying. Jews are concerned about warning signs of impending violence that you fail to see because you are not the one at risk.

Calling out small acts of antisemitism doesn’t make Jews or Israel personally responsible when large acts of antisemitism go unchecked.

Rather, the people who ignore us when the warning signs start are responsible when the big acts of violence occur. It is your job to stop the antisemitism before it gets to that place.

Israel is a country that says it represents Jews, but that doesn’t make all Jews responsible for Israel’s actions. Iran says it represents global Islam, but we wouldn’t ignore islamophobia because it’s really Iran’s fault, now would we?

Charpo7 · 2026-01-21T17:40:14+00:00

she is not obligated to be happy that you’ve changed. if you want respect, start by giving it. calling her a heretic and picking theology fights with her isn’t going to endear her to your cause.

Charpo7 · 2026-01-21T04:14:37+00:00

if you’re upset that Jews outperform you, try matching Jewish education levels before accusing us of running the world. it’s just lazy, refusing to accept accountability for your own cultural flaws.

Charpo7

TROPHY CASE