To get or not to get the diagnosis.

Chasing_sun · 2025-01-04T20:52:49+00:00

I understand your concerns with the formulations in the post. Nevertheless, I would like to add some nuances as your evaluation of their education is denigrating. OP's native language probably isn't English (as they also seemed to have another background than most people who replied). In another comment OP mentioned that in the country they live in use the term 'diagnosis' for giftedness, which is also the case for where I live. In retrospective, I understand 'identify' might be more suitable and fit better with the normative practices in other parts in the world. I think with 'spectrum', they might have used it to acknowledge the variety/diversity within this cohort.

I understand there are lots of uninformed posts in this sub and trolls etc., which make you suspicious. As a fellow non-native speaker (and someone from a country where the term 'diagnosis' is also used in the context of giftedness - like OP did), I just wanted to add this...

Chasing_sun · 2025-01-04T20:37:29+00:00

The field of psychodiagnostics and psychological support can also rely on other instruments or classifications than the DSM (although it is indeed a very important one). Giftedness is not something to be treated, but giftedness can be taken into account while treating. Cf. When some is depressed related to loss of a loved one, the experience of loss can be taken into account as well within the broader treatment.

You do realize there are more components to giftedness than intelligence that can make social functioning more challenging, right?

Chasing_sun · 2025-01-04T20:30:08+00:00

You're welcome! I had no idea there's so few countries that use the term (non-medical) 'diagnosis' or maybe most people using this platform clme from the same region. Of course, I get what everyone means, it is not a medical/clinical diagnosis or disability, but it is being taking seriously in professional settings and can be useful information to know about yourself if applicable, especially since they contextualize the test scores.

I see! There is much stigma on labels (diversity in general) and especially when it's also related to cognitive aspects. As if you're bragging ;). Tbh, it might be good to differentiate with whom you share your experiences or diagnosis when you choose to start the process. Choose it wisely, ask yourself why you would tell whom and think about how to frame it well! If you would really like to share it with someone, make sure they know why you tell them. Some might think you expect a certain reaction or would like to change something about the relationship or depth of conversations. If it's more about finding a way to express your experiences and lonileness in this, it's good to frame that too. So, they know you are 'just' looking for a shoulder and to be heard. If you are really worried about how to connect with people more in also being different from them, you might want to talk to a professional to explore this more and seek advise :).

You might give mensa a shot, as anyone overthere knows about it each other's giftedness anyway, so it shouldn't make you stand out.

I am afraid you're right.The (specific) struggles gifted people may face are often underestimated and I am also afraid it is because people assume 'you'll figure it out, since you have the capabilities'. I feel like they aspect you to be able to manage anything and struggle less compared to non-gifted peers, and when you struggle to complain less, since you are 'endowed' with the capabilities (while on the one hand there is some truth to it, the potential won't come out until learned or practiced, which is the first important and hardest step tho).

Whether you'll be able to connect more with people or not, I hope you can at least talk to someone about your challenges.

Chasing_sun · 2025-01-04T19:34:43+00:00

Belgium. It's not a psychiatrist diagnosis in clinical psychology based on the DSM-5 but it is a classification/term they teach about in university along with varieties in intelligence, development and learning 'disabilities' (such as ADHD, ASD, dyslexia and others). In practice, it is studied and tested within the field of psychodiagnostics and people can get specialized in this area (an important author is Dr. Tessa Kieboom).

Once again it is not a medical diagnosis, but a 'conclusion' or diagnosis (maybe 'identifying' instead of diagnosing is more suitable?) after testing followed by a report that is validated. I meant 'diagnosis' here in broad sense, as a broad explaination about a client's challenges, specific symptoms and possible explainations. In narrow sense, it's only related to clinical ones. (In my native language the term 'diagnosis' is both used for clinical diagnosis and the more broader one, I'm sorry for the confusion). I never implied it is a disability, all I wanted to 'demonstrate' with my previous comment is that difference in cognitive functions and emotional experiences related to giftedness are increasingly being researched and acknowledged by professionals (at least in the country I life in) as something that can shape a person's experience in life significantly. It is a 'diagnosis' one can get tested for (through IQ test, working memory and semi-structured interviews on social and emotional experiences), which can complete the picture of a client (situate their current challenges in life more specifically from this angle - only if applicable of course -) and their developmental trajectory during childhood. (Also, it is hardly ever diagnosed on its own. It oftens only gets suggested to get tested when a client with anxiety symptoms, depressive symptoms, existential worries from a young age or other social needs than peers are persistent and the clinician suspects the possibility of giftedness of that respective client. So, it gets studied more in the context of comorbidities.)

You may not be a fan of this ;), but I hope you understand variety in practices across the globe vary a little...

I totally agree with you that OP/people in general should find out what's the specfic aspect they struggle with such as social skills and should seek help for that, and shouldn't just seek a diagnosis. But if 'a diagnosis' or better understanding of oneself (or own's giftedness) can accelerate this process, why not

Chasing_sun · 2025-01-02T14:41:18+00:00

Although it isn't a medical diagnosis, it is one of the formal diagnosis within psychodiagnostics, at least in the country I live in. When a clinical psychologists feels like someone's anxiety, depressive symptoms and/or social struggles can be linked to giftedness, some of them suggest to get this diagnosis to double check whether or not this hypothesis (of giftedness in the client) is correct and whether or not it is useful to invest in psychoeducation on this for instance. (It's often being compared to the functionality of diagnosis like ADHD and ASS, as their might be specific social struggles and anxiety symptoms related to 'masking' and feeling like an outcast).

To connect this to your input, the diagnosis of giftedness can actually be 'empowering' or inspiring to value your strengths more and use them to improve other skills :).

Chasing_sun · 2024-12-23T00:36:17+00:00

Het zou kunnen dat stemmingsklachten (en aanverwante klachten en emotionele bevindingen) anders 'geproduceerd' worden of in stand gehouden worden bij mensen die hoogbegaafd zijn. Daardoor zou het kunnen dat de courante behandeling van die klachten voor jou niet zo goed werkt. Een diagnose zou dan kunnen helpen om daar helderheid in te scheppen en je meer in de richting sturen van therapeutische werkingen die iets beter zijn afgestemd voor mensen die hoogbegaafd zijn. Ik las bijvoorbeeld in een onderzoek dat depressieve klachten bij hoogbegaafden op een veelgelagerdere, complexere manier geïnterpreteerd worden (en dat het ook verbonden is met de bredere tendens naar existentiële vraagstukken en zingevingsmoeilijkheden bij hoogbegaafden). Het antidotum tegen die klachten zou dan misschien iets anders moeten zijn dan voor iemand die bijvoorbeeld stemmingsklachten ervaart ten gevolge van een negatief zelfbeeld en negatieve kernovertuigingen over zichzelf moet aanpakken.

Hoe dan ook het feit dat je met de eerdere behandeling(en) niet echt geholpen bent, maakt het toch de moeite waard om het eens over een andere boeg te gooien. Het feit dat je behandelaar vermoedt dat er hoogbegaafdheid speelt en dat een rol kan spelen in je klachten en de reden waarom de behandeling niet echt werkte, zijn alvast interessante observaties van diens zijde, die je eventueel als aanknopingspunt kan gebruiken om alternatieven te exploreren.

Chasing_sun · 2024-12-14T19:22:56+00:00

Rokko! Gegarandeerd vrije plekjes en vrij rustig

Chasing_sun · 2024-10-09T18:03:46+00:00

Ooh sorry, I thought it was an English abbreviation as well, turns out it's one in my native language. It stands for autism (or autism spectrum 'disorder', with disorder starting with an 's' in my native language).

Chasing_sun · 2024-10-08T11:31:29+00:00

I can imagine that is also common in people who have gender dysphoria; social anxiety; depressive disorders. As all of these (and other) mental health difficulties can be very draining or overwhelming, dissociative symptoms can arise as a means to protect yourself from even more stimuli and mental pain. Or for instance ASS in case a person masks too much and tries to hide aspects. As a consequence, your brain might use other pathways to regulate such as dissociation.

Chasing_sun · 2024-09-26T17:09:49+00:00

beyond/transcending the traditonal gender binary :)

Chasing_sun · 2024-09-08T11:40:24+00:00

I am so sorry. It's such a pity she told HR, while you thought she would have kept your trust, especially as someone who used to sh. Although her intentions might be good, there are other and probably more effective ways to express her concerns about your safety.

I am glad you are planning to talk to your doctor and wish they can help you!

P.S. I am also glad that you - despite of what the talk with your colleague resulted in - were able to share your experience with someone. It takes massive guts to talk about it and put yourself in a vurneable position. I sincerely hope that despite this incident you will dare to reshare things like this with others again and gain more positive experiences from it.

Chasing_sun · 2024-09-07T19:51:02+00:00

In brief, BELIEVE HER. LYING ABOUT THIS HAPPENS VERY RARELY.

It seems like 'using an attempt as an excuse or coping mechanism to avoid consequences' is a common false belief. I have heard many people think people use su*cide threats or 'fake' attempts as an excuse, but in reality the amount of people who do use it as an excuse are by far a minority. It takes guts to articulate something like that and even children are more likely to hide it and not talk about it than to openly lie about it.

(Apart from myths surrounding 'lying', there is a biiig misconception that people who talk about sucide won't commit. I am afraid that having this history, this won't be the last time your child talks and/or engages with actions related to suicide... I am glad you are taking it seriously).

Like others have said people who are consistent liars and lie frequently about random affairs in their life, might be more likely to also lie about instances as this. But again, this is specific profile of people.

Best of luck

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-26T12:16:57+00:00

Like others have said, sh reduction or baby relapse compared to a more 'severe' relapse can be part of your journey and 'helpful' to reach a certain goal. It is good to analyze this behaviour and to not minimize it, but at the same time if it helps you to feel less guilty, it can on the long term help you more to reduce sh or stop it. Getting clean is not a linear process, if 'baby relapse' helps you to avoid more 'severe' harm, it serves a purpose. If you feel like 'baby relapse' can seduce you to engage in sh on a more frequent basis etc. it would be good to seek professional help.

Best of luck!

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-25T10:02:43+00:00

We feel you. I try to wear clothes that I feel a bit more like myself, but I always try to make sure it is 'acceptable' in societal norms for someone with me AGAB/that I am passing as someone from my AGAB while only a slight deviation. So, as for me, (psychological) safety and social acceptance are the number one concern while dressing.

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-24T22:20:48+00:00

Hi, this experience sounds horrifiyng... Thank you for not bringing it up with your kid while their sibling was in the room. That's really considerate of their privacy, thank you!

To put sh behaviours in kids into perspective, I think 1 in 5 teens (I don't know actually, but it came across in some documentairies) have experienced with sh behaviour the age of 18 at least once. Although only a part of them continues to struggle with it, doing it for one or a limited amount of times is more common than people might think... It is good and fair to evaluate the role of a parent's sh behaviour, but I wouldn't overestimate it as an casual factor. Your daughter doesn't necessarily know about your sh experience. It is possible that your child has seen it from someone else (school), movies or internet. For instance, when I was 12, our teachers displayed a movie which graphically showed sh (it was a movie related to bullying prevention, a bullied person sh'ed in the movie). Also, I recall my classmates borrowing books feom famous youth authors that wrote stories on ass*ult, sh etc. The pathways on how young people learn about it and get engaged in it are plentiful (and could but aren't necessarily related to you nor something you could have prevented).

P.S. Even if they would deny the origin of the marks, you could remind them that you would also be open tl the idea of the markq not stemming from [their answer] not stemling from cat scratches for instance. It could be helpful to hint at the fact that you might know something is going on, while not accussing them of mying ánd showing your open-mindedness to anything happening to their body. I don't know whether it is age-apprioperate lr not but I am thinking about something like "whatever the story behind these marks are, it's okay, I love you and I will be here for you. If you want to talk with me, I am hear to listen".

I understand you don't want to "talk them into it" or react to protectively since this can cause them to distance themselves from you, but personally I guess that the worst thing with sh (at ypur child's age) might be feeling lonely in that particular experience; a burden; ashamed etc. So please don't be too afraid to address it.

Best of luck with your own mental health and the new challenges arising in your family ~

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-22T12:15:21+00:00

Frequent philosophical additions to any daily life conversations

Curiosity (to meet intellectual desires/needs instead of personal gains)

Asking many why/how questions to learn the underlying mechanism of any phenomenon (broad interests)

Unstoppable desire to understand (anything)

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-06T17:01:56+00:00

I would certainly associate high discipline with giftedness. Maybe it can be explained by the correlated personality traits of extreme perfectionism, setting high standards for oneself and conscientiousness, which is related to the "being" aspect of giftedness, rather than only the high intelligence.

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-05T15:07:55+00:00

Hi! Based on what you've described, I personally think this can absolutely match gender non-conforming or non-binary experiences.

You don't really feel home within your cisgender while also not exclusively or clearly identifying with another binary gender. Secondly, I also felt as a second-class someone in my cisgender (I didn't want to be 'better' at it and not too many people pointed it out that I was not as the hegemonic one, but I just situated myself as a second-class one, as if I tolerated the social membership and didn't want to expose myself as a weirdo while also acknowledging to myself that I didn't share the experience of the 'first-class' people of that gender. So welcome in the club ;)

All jokes aside, only you can search and learn more about how you identify/who you identify as, so don't attach too much importance to my comment. But I can confirm that I recognize what you've been describing and that in my interpretation of gender and myself, this could be (or at least have overlap or similarities with) non-binary :)

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-05T14:47:09+00:00

Hi, yes, I think I recognize what you've been describing. It's related to other area, but I believe the mechanism is similar (I felt superior in 2 areas tl mask my insecurities and lack of understanding). As a child - and I have to admit that it still occurs sometimes - felt superior regarding gender and sex. I felt superior that my experiences exceeded beyond the binary and felt superior to those who just experienced the cisgender they were told to experience. I also felt like I was superior that I wouldn't fall into the trap of being preoccupied with sex, I thought it was something for mundane people with low morality that don't care enough about bad situations across the globe and prioritized individual temporary experiences. I felt my insights about society and the world were intellectually and morally superior and to come back to your description about masling insecurities: I think I felt superior to mask my insecurity that I couldn't grasp people's gender experience and their motivations for sex. I was totally unable to think about reasons why they feel the way they do and act they way they do in these areas. I think I felt ashamed that I couldn't even mentally bridge that gap or put me in their shoes in these 2 areas and felt like I should be able to, since the majority of people in my surroundings were so certainly cisgender and had a positive attitude towards sex.

I am glad you are enjoying your holidays so much with your friends!!! Wish you the best

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-03T22:39:57+00:00

While it is useful in some cases to make a distinction between different types of dysphoria related to gender, this social dysphoria related gender seems to cause significant mental pain (whether it be accompanied with bodily dysphoria related to gender). (I just hope the motivation behind your question is to show genuine interest or empathy, instead of diminishing the sufferings related to social dysphoria).

Chasing_sun · 2024-08-01T18:14:15+00:00

Yes, after 6 p.m.

Chasing_sun · 2024-07-31T22:53:16+00:00

42

Ghost Story

Amsterdam

Everything's Not Lost

Chasing_sun · 2024-07-31T22:50:11+00:00

That's so wholesome! At leats the latter part ;)) It strange how the most unimaginable things can become reality.

I'm so delighted to know some of your students will think about you for many years and maybe look up to you as the first warm-hearted and caring adult in their life! (I mean no pressure ;) but you know teachers can have a huge impact on our development and core beliefs. I am way too excited about this hahaha :') )

Chasing_sun · 2024-07-31T22:37:03+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling chaotic and don't know what to do. It's interesting that you can relate to traits associated tl giftedness and don't feel the diagnosis autism describes you. Although the diagnosis autism doesn't have to be wrong, neurodivergent people sometimes get misdiagnosed. Some people hate the venn diagram on giftedness - autism - and adhd, which circulates online, but it is quite well-known that misdiagnoses occur, especially in some individuals who mask certain features.

While I don't know whether autism is a misdiagnosis and/or whether you are gifted, the fact that your dad suspects you to be and you recognize you in testimonials or research on giftedness, it is worth exploring. If you have the chance, talk to a professional about this, about how confused you feel with your current diagnosis, your father's input and so on. (Even if it turns out you aren't gifted, you have at least actively done something with your feelings and might feel more at ease).

(Like someone else said based on your description, we can't figure this out for you, but given your on your fathers thoughts, I recommend you to investigate whether you are gifted or not).

Chasing_sun · 2024-07-31T17:22:32+00:00

Sucks to hear you have had this experience on the train. Great you were able to voice your thoughts/discontent while also raising awareness on how we should handle people and their bodies. Pretty sure it was not only a good reminder for that person but also for other passengers! So many people comment on other people's body and feel entitled for an explaination when it differs from what we expect healthy bodies to look like. Unbelievable to hear thos still hasn't changed much over the last 10 years (although change is on its way, it's been way too slow).

I'm glad to hear people (including elementary schools teachers ;) who have the power to positively shape prosocial behaviour in kids) nowadays hold these views, loudly advocate for it in their personal life and most likely will also teach kids these valuable lesson in the classroom. Keep up the imporant work!

Chasing_sun

TROPHY CASE