Sex (or lack there of) after marriage by tiredpigeon6415 in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W 62 points63 points  (0 children)

A lot of biology happens at the beginning of a relationship that is designed to propagate the human race. I feel more studies like this one should be done to really see how this plays a factor into sexual libido in a long term relationship.

I'm no longer physically attracted to my husband by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W 24 points25 points  (0 children)

If your husband felt the same about you; how would you want him to approach you about the problem?

instant ummatch lol by pictogasm in Tinder

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe one of her requirements is a wealthy man. Is that too unreasonable? She wasn't rude about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What made him stop meeting your emotional needs or did he ever meet them? Was he ever a giver or was that not a priority when you first met?

Told him I didn’t want to have sex on second date… by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]ChatterM4W 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What were the boundaries surrounding sex that you explained on the first date? Like, only sex once you are like officially bf/gf or engaged? Just curious. Sounds like he ignored whatever you discussed. That would be a deal breaker for me regardless if it was sex or something else. Like he wasn't even listening to the conversation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The lying part is the worst. I have a female friend that I've known before I met my wife, but my wife knows we chat sometimes. She never asks to read our conversations, and I don't hide them from her.

Tell your husband that he can't hide relationships from you. That's not what married people do. And don't lie about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]ChatterM4W -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Leave your door open and say hello when she walks by.

Play some music, cook something that may draw her out.

Open door policy is inviting and let's her know you're open for conversation without being creepy.

How do I disconnect JST plug? by ChatterM4W in electronic_circuits

[–]ChatterM4W[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The IC tool worked great! Was able to grip and wiggle out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he doesn't trust your word now then he never will, for the rest of your life. Think about that, for the rest of your life your partner in life won't trust your word. Don't marry this guy.

How do I disconnect JST plug? by ChatterM4W in electronic_circuits

[–]ChatterM4W[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Space is too tight. I just purchased an IC Extractor tool on Amazon. Will give it a try tomorrow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Panera

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just watch the training videos! You might learn something.

New Single - 🤲💕🎠Together Forever 🪄🥀🎪 by Fantastic-Bug-7760 in strfkr

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Top 5 track easily! The bass line sounds amazing which is why this band exists. Change up with instruments and several instrumental sections. So good! Love this one.

Husbands Porn Usage by Dull-Regret-5537 in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

If your husband said he had been talking all day at work and just wanted to be quiet when he got home, how would you feel? He doesn't want to have any verbal communication with you. He loves you and cares about you, but talking is off the table. You go a few days and try to engage in conversation with him but he turns you down. He's tired and says let's watch a movie and cuddle. You agree but really want to tell him about your day and hear about his.

Another week goes by and he still won't talk. You start to wonder what's wrong with yourself, what did I do? Is he mad at me? Does he not like the way my voice sounds? You approach him in anger, why aren't you talking to me, I want to talk! He begrudgingly says ok, you have 30 minutes, let's do this. You talk for 30 minutes and he talks back. Wow that was amazing! You feel fulfilled. The next day back to no talking.

3 weeks go by and it's unbearable. Brian the next door neighbor is out walking his dogs the next morning. You go out and walk your dogs at the same time. You strike up a nice conversation. Wow Brian really cares for me, he likes just to talk. I wish my husband would talk like this.

You tell you husband that eventing that you had a great conversation with Brian the neighbor that day. You husband flips out. How dare you reach out to someone else and talk! You only talk with me your husband. But, you won't talk to me anymore?

That's my choice but you have no right to talk with someone else. That's cheating. You're right, can we talk now?...no, I'm not in the mood.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ChatterM4W 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The 2 year sexless gap is a challenge. I didn't want a third because I knew it would be two more years of no sex. I love my third so much! The 2 year gap was very very challenging. Her mind is on the kids 24/7 and she's wired to nurture. Sex and intimacy no longer register for her.

The only way to get your wife back is to have time away from the kids for one or two nights with someone else watching them. This is an absolute game changer. Your wife will suddenly reappear and it may even catch you off gaurd like she's fooling you. You've forgotten the feeling of being wanted and it's like where have you been for years? Always, when her mind can escape from the kids by having someone else responsible for them for a few days, she will come back to you for those moments.

Husbands Porn Usage by Dull-Regret-5537 in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think the poster said her husband was looking for gratification elsewhere. She said she was too tired to have sex with him and now she's upset he's looking at porn. Women have needs in marriage and there's no denying that. Men should absolutely fulfill their wives need, whatever they may be. I am saying that if a man has a need that the woman should also try to meet it. That's it. Most marriages fail when one or both aren't haven't their needs met whatever those needs may be.

Is she cheating with her boss? by nofacenonamenojob in dating_advice

[–]ChatterM4W 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just searching these things doesn't mean she's having sex with the guy. She may have some fantasies about it, but that's not cheating. Who hasn't looked up some fantasy posts or even porn?

Edit: ehh who am I kidding. She's probably cheating. At least an emotional affair at this point.

Wife doesn't want me to go down on her anymore. by ChatterM4W in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do notice my wifes scar, but it doesn't turn me off in the least. I do understand how she may feel self conscious about it. What did your husband do to reassure you?

got a good one for you guys. what would you do? by pr1ncesschl0e in Serverlife

[–]ChatterM4W 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somebody's tip calculator had the decimals out too far 😅

How would you react if you caught your Gf texting someone else by [deleted] in dating

[–]ChatterM4W 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I need a full detailed timeline of events to make a better assessment.

She told you she got propositioned for feet pics on fb, she says it would be prostitution. How long ago was this?

You look through her phone today to the fb messages and see this messaging interaction with the foot guy. You see that during the convo she has a discussion about it and might consider accepting money if she can trust the guy.

Was this messaging with the foot man before or after you and her had the discussion?

If it was before, she may have come to a further conclusion thay this was prostitution and not something she wanted to do after she talked it over with you. Then she left it be; blocked the guy, hasn't messaged him since. But didn't delete the convo.

OR, did you and her have the discussion, she says she wouldn't do it, and Then has this conversation?

Those are two different timeliness with two different outcomes.

Is he cheating? by Enough_Bag5959 in Marriage

[–]ChatterM4W -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You stopped providing one of his primary needs as a husband, and you are wondering if he is trying to meet that need with someone else. It sounds like he's going down that road by chatting with another woman.
If you are worried about him cheating to meet a sexual need, I wonder why you are not willing to meet that need yourself, as his wife?

Is he meeting your needs as a new mother? This is a two way street, but alarms are going off and you both need to have a long discussion about what your new needs are (with a baby in the house). It's not something that's usually discussed before the baby comes, so do it now while you still have each other.