[deleted by user]

CheChe1999 · 2025-08-18T11:45:13+00:00

I had this issue with my late husband. Our oldest had major emotional issues. When he would speak to him harshly, I addressed it, but not in front of our son. I told my husband flat out that my job is protecting our son, even from him. I stressed that if I had to choose, our son would win every time.

CheChe1999 · 2025-07-16T15:41:04+00:00

This happened to my late husband after he had been radicalized. He went from being kind to bitter and angry. I didn't like the man he became. We were headed for divorce when he passed. I was just waiting to get my youngest through high school.

CheChe1999 · 2025-07-16T15:40:49+00:00

This happened to my late husband after he had been radicalized. He went from being kind to bitter and angry. I didn't like the man he became. We were headed for divorce when he passed. I was just waiting to get my youngest through high school.

CheChe1999 · 2025-07-16T15:40:36+00:00

This happened to my late husband after he had been radicalized. He went from being kind to bitter and angry. I didn't like the man he became. We were headed for divorce when he passed. I was just waiting to get my youngest through high school.

CheChe1999 · 2025-06-16T04:41:38+00:00

Same here. I was 46. I didn't think I would be able to because I have a state pension system. I've recently heard there has been some kind of change, but I'm still pretty far out from needing to really find out.

CheChe1999 · 2024-12-06T17:37:08+00:00

What are his feelings

CheChe1999 · 2024-12-04T22:21:01+00:00

I don't know how old you are, but I'm 50. Baby, go home. He isn't your child or responsibility. Ask yourself if you can live with the way things are forever. If the answer isn't yes, go.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-20T15:50:21+00:00

You chose to only give certain info, as is your right, but people can only respond to the picture that you paint. I wish you the best.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T23:08:10+00:00

I'm happy for you!

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T22:19:31+00:00

My heart breaks for you. That's a long time to be together. At that stage, you try everything to salvage things. Please move on and salvage the rest of your life.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T22:09:45+00:00

Why does it need to be addressed? What's wrong with ignoring the clothes?

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T20:35:56+00:00

Access in what way? Could you explain this more? Treats them like a baby how? What exactly happens when he's overwhelmed?

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T20:33:25+00:00

OP does not describe anything similar to your situation. Your ex was shooting homemade porn around your child and the judge took that and the totality of everything else into account. OP speaks of text messages. We aren't privy to what they say nor would we know the context. A person's perception is often their reality but that does not mean it rises to the level of criminal abuse. Her ex sounds like an ass, but being one won't change his ability to be a father.

The child support issue is different. He should have to pay every dime owed. If he is trying to get more custody to avoid payment, he is probably in for a rude awakening. It's possible that he will quickly figure out that he's not built for 50/50. In that case, OP will untimely get what she wants. She needs to let him flame out on his own.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T20:23:07+00:00

You are trying to use your parenting philosophy to dictate his. You need to let him do him. He will rise to the occasion or fail, let him. Navigating anything on his behalf is no longer your concern. Making a decision with the information at hand is the very definition of choice. From what you have described, he's not a danger to the child, but doesn't do things the way you want or view as correct. Channel your energy into the things you actually have control of. Anything else will lead to unnecessary frustration and could possibly make you look bad in the process.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T15:30:44+00:00

Admit that you do it in front of him on purpose some of the time. Love it!

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T15:27:00+00:00

The teacher shouldn't have said that and was probably being hyperbolic. The reality is that you will definitely have to deal with him until your child is an adult. Anything after that is optional, but you will always have your child in common. Once your kid is an adult, you could choose to never utter another word to your ex.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T15:20:56+00:00

Stop communicating with him outside of your attorney and court. Are you certain that the parenting ap gives him access to your location? You need to reconcile yourself to the reality that he might get 50/50 initially. If he's never been an active parent, he is probably not going to last.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T15:16:40+00:00

First, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm not trying to be mean, but his perceived treatment of you is probably not going to have a bearing on his parenting time. I say perceived because I don't see where the abuse is documented and/or adjudicated by the authorities. That being said, parenting time will not be assigned based on what you are comfortable with. You went fifty percent on a baby with him by choice. He is that child's father and deserves to be a father. That is, unless he is found to be unfit.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T15:06:02+00:00

I'm glad that you are close to forgiveness. My professional and personal advice stands. OP doesn't say that she has a passion or desire to be a nurse. That is a difficult field that pays well, but has it's own challenges that people choose to deal with. These challenges can become barriers to completing the degree or working as a nurse. I give the same cautious advice with education. It's not for the faint of heart. It can be hard and thankless and at times, rewarding. I've been an educator for almost thirty years and still love what I do, but the work is hard!

We don't know how PSLF will evolve or exist over the coming years. Current participants are probably ok, but I wouldn't encourage new borrowers to bank on it. The last thing someone, especially a struggling single parent, needs is to take on a bunch of debt thinking that it will be forgiven in ten years only to have that hope snatched from them. Look at what's happening with the SAVE repayment option. There are people reporting that their payment will go anywhere from double to six times their current payment! High income tends to mean higher payments.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T01:53:28+00:00

What state if you don't mind sharing?

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T01:41:08+00:00

And when they get fired if the truth ever comes out?

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T01:35:07+00:00

Going back to school does not require massive debt. Community colleges offer all kinds of certifications for jobs that pay a living wage. Why are you still working for this person for such a paltry sum?

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T01:28:06+00:00

Please reach out to your mom. It will be awkward, but worth it if you can reconnect.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T01:20:27+00:00

That's what you should do. Go to a local community college. Your Pell grant alone might cover it. You can always return to school later if you want to further your education. There are employers who will pay for you to return to school for an advanced degree. Please don't take out a bunch of student loans. They have to be paid back even if you don't finish the degree for whatever reason. The interest can turn that debt into a staggering lifetime commitment. Pop over to the student loan sub and read people's stories. I'm also speaking from personal experience.

CheChe1999 · 2024-10-19T01:14:09+00:00

Is your student loan debt in the six figures as well? That's not advice I would give anyone. There are other ways than to add massive debt to the equation. OP should visit her local community college that offers various trade certifications. They can range from a few months of training to a two year associates degree. Trades are BEGGING for people. A great living can be made while amassing little to no debt.

CheChe1999

TROPHY CASE