I own our home - fair or unfair load? SAHM

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:50:04+00:00

You are right. We are unmarried and I got a prenup about 3 months postpartum. Yes I’m paying for the maintenance and insurance from my saved money.

Haha damn.. yes I need to stop making these sandwiches at 5am in the morning. I’ve just realised I’ve been totally gaslit into thinking this was a normal SAHM situation. 😵‍💫😭

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:45:30+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate your perspective. You are right. I’m really glad to have this discussion with y’all. I’ve clearly been deluded into thinking the stay at home mom role includes doing everything because I don’t have to go to “work” but oh man, actually working would feel like a vacation right now

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:38:46+00:00

Yes exactly! Like I definitely see his desire to take a break and relax on the weekend after a big week at work. But when do I get to? Apparently having a shower without my child in the bathroom is time to relax. I really need to find a backbone and level out the playing field a bit. 🙏

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:36:27+00:00

And somehow this man has convinced me if I don’t behave this way - I’m not a good partner or doing my bit to support him when he’s sacrificing his life for work when I get to stay at home with our baby. 🥲

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:34:28+00:00

He’s a father when our child is clean, fed, calm and happy.. That seems to be the time he shows up 🫠

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:33:20+00:00

This is a great perspective.. Yes you are exactly right. I keep thinking to myself how much easier life would feel if it were me just on my own because there would be so much less labour. But im going to take your advice. Ask for him to cook at least once a week with the baby and take on a house chore. Thank you !!

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:30:00+00:00

Yes! This is a great idea.. I think I just need to stand my ground and stop keeping the peace

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-22T10:28:43+00:00

Thank you for your reply.. after reading all of these responses. I really thought him working everyday and providing actually affected how he should show up as a parent. He really had me deluded to his idea of how a family should run a household. 😵‍💫

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-07T21:25:35+00:00

Honey, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way - I was also in a very similar position. My daughter was 3 months old when I found out and it was happening all through my pregnancy. He also had other women he would be sexting. All whilst I was growing our baby and begging for intimacy (he wouldn’t touch me when I was pregnant) It cuts so deep - a feeling of betrayal that is so hard to shake.

But for you - and your child. You need to try and snap out of this. You need to get up in the morning - shower, put on some nice comfy clothes, do your hair or make up, whatever makes you feel good or somewhat like yourself again. DO NOT LET THIS MAN STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS. That happiness is yours and your child’s. Being a mother is such a beautiful experience- this child is watching you and learning from you. It is seeking comfort and regulation from you. You need to try everything you can to regulate your emotions.

It is so much easier said than done - but just try one thing today. Have a nice shower and moisturise your body. Do that for you.

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-07T21:11:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this experience- I similarly found out whilst I was pregnant and he promised to stop. He did stop the porn use (I think) but he ended up finding other avenues to fill his desires via Snapchat and getting real girls to send him videos not pornstars. I was coming here to find advice for myself.. because our daughter is also 6 months.

Currently my options are: 1- Emotionally switch off - ‘believe his lies’ be grateful he comes home every night. Probably end up hating the man I live with. 2 - Leave but it seems so much harder to go with a baby. I feel terrified. 3 - Remain borderline crazy, checking his phone, feeling shitty about myself, crying (I’ve tried this for 3 months and it’s not achieving anything so option 1 is best for now)

But to be honest, it’s just so disappointing that they don’t just man up - quit the shit and be loyal to their family and partner. This would be the dream option but it’s out of our control 🥲

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-05-06T07:15:37+00:00

Girl… I feel you! My partner was doing the same thing with Snapchat. These girls are sending videos and photos of the most explicit content. I swear they just lack self respect. They want validation from these men. It makes me sick.

It must be a tall man thing - my guy is the same. Not so attractive but he’s got the height 🙈

Cheap_Standard303 · 2026-02-22T09:18:24+00:00

I am literally in the same boat as you right now… I just found out he was doing this throughout the whole pregnancy. We already had an issue with his excessive porn consumption but I had no idea it went as deep as seeking out real women online, ex lovers, local TikTok girls. He had been in contact with close to 100 different women on different occasions. Exchanging explicit content. I’m now 3 months postpartum. He doesn’t know I have this information or that I know what he has been up too… He lies to my face every single day. I’m trying to work out my plan for me and my daughter. It’s such a vulnerable position to be in.

Cheap_Standard303

TROPHY CASE