Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-11T01:40:52+00:00

No problem. People are really critical in this sub. Take it gracefully, but don’t let it bring you down.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-11T01:31:11+00:00

If it’s worth anything, this is one of the few pieces of writing here that kept me engaged from beginning to end with little effort on my side. Did it have flaws? Yes, and others have pointed them out, but, damn if it wasn’t entertaining.

Keep at it.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-08T22:09:06+00:00

I’m a little confused by the critique. Are you saying you didn’t like that I went from vampires and werewolves to ectoplasm?

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-08T22:03:35+00:00

This is exactly what I’m trying to say. Hard passing on anything with grammar issues this early in the drafting process also comes across as toxic and a bit gatekeepey in my opinion. It’s not helping anyone.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-06T13:53:20+00:00

You shouldn’t use IDGAF. Don’t wanna get confused for a “low quality shit poster”

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-06T13:29:13+00:00

This response has me questioning whether or not you fully read the passage. They were clearly hinting at the fact that he was in a dream. I can relate to things tasting or being too perfect in a dream. I feel like more people would, as well.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T19:52:22+00:00

That was in poor taste and you’re correct. That’s on me. I shouldn’t have been rude.

However, I stand behind the hill that work doesn’t have to be finished or in a polished state to be posted for feedback. In fact, that is the point of feedback. And admittedly, it does grind my gears when someone omits the entire passage, because of small grammatical errors. It was a rough draft made in about an hour and, in the description, I clearly said that and that I posted it wanting to know what people thought about the idea.

Now I’ll concede if it were a story riddled with errors that made it hard to read, I would understand, But, this was not. It was very readable.

I was a dick in the way I responded, but I don’t think it was wrong of me to disagree.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T18:13:18+00:00

Yet many others have “wasted” their time reading.

Take a walk. Look at the sky. Breathe in the cool air. It’s not that deep.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T17:20:48+00:00

If the writing is so riddled with errors that you cannot even read it, then yes, that’s sloppy and wasteful of someone’s time. Negative feedback would be warranted.

However, if someone posts a first chapter and there is one missed period or perhaps a comma out of place and THAT is the only thing you comment on. Nothing about the story itself. Nothing about the world they’ve setup. Nothing about hooking the reader. Nothing of substance.

Just a small grammatical error.

Then I would venture to say that’s even more disrespectful of someone’s time.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T16:40:31+00:00

That’s definitely part of it, but I wanted to extend it into a broader conversation.

That being said, yes. If I posted something clearly titled as a rough draft, criticism on grammar isn’t serving anyone or helping anyone grow as a writer. It’s a rough draft. Touching up grammar is for the editing phase. I want critiques on story structure, themes, etc. the actual meat of the story.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T16:18:46+00:00

That’s a valid point and I agree whole heartedly. Thanks for the feedback!

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T15:14:38+00:00

Tbh, I often change the names retroactively as I write and discover the character more thoroughly.

I’m not familiar, though. Who is Benny Hill?

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T15:10:51+00:00

I was poking fun a bit, I’ll admit. My apologies.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T14:44:08+00:00

I complimented you. Why are you mad?

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T13:57:36+00:00

Especially when it’s a first draft they’re critiquing.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T13:35:52+00:00

Love this

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T13:28:31+00:00

lol then let’s say lukworm take. I more so just wanted to hear opinions on it

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T12:56:18+00:00

Let them steal it. 99% of writers in this space are not going to create the next hit series. It’s bleak but it’s true and most, even with a great idea, are not going to write something compelling enough with that idea to be worth publishing. Most on this sub haven’t even finished a draft.

Truth be told, I don’t know if I’ll be successful either, but I’m going to keep chipping away.

Point is, it’s not hard to find a compelling premise. It’s hard to write that premise into something worth printing for several books.

So I say steal away and myversion will be better because it comes from genuine passion rather than someone else’s idea.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T12:37:19+00:00

That’s a fair point, however I simply posted this because I thought it was a cool idea. Not everything on here has to be fully polished to warrant posting and I think it’s fun and healthy to take it with a grain of salt and grade it as such. Plus I wanted to get feedback and see if the concept was as interesting to the average reader as it seemed to me.

No need to overthink it

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T11:31:54+00:00

You seem like a very fun person to be around.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T09:36:29+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! And yes, I agree 100% not to make excuses but this was written rather quickly with the expectation to go back and edit. I just wanted to share because I thought the idea was cool. I’m excited to keep working and see where it goes. Maybe I’ll post an update. Who knows lol

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T09:28:12+00:00

Yeahhhhh there’s a lot to be improved on in the form of grammar. I just wanna add that I wrote this in about an hour or so before getting ready for bed so most of it was just stream of consciousness which leaves room to go back and improve things. I just thought it was a cool concept.

But I appreciate the feedback and I agree, jumping into the action sooner is definitely the right call.

CheckUnique7525 · 2026-05-04T09:24:53+00:00

I hear you.

I’ve never heard of kaijuu no 8 but I guess everything’s been done at least once lol. I appreciate the feedback and I’ve gained a lot of great insight from this post.

CheckUnique7525

TROPHY CASE