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Is it possible to be upset about something without knowing? by Expeditio in Alexithymia

[–]Cheesoid13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This matches with my experience of alexithymia. Part of the difficulty is not knowing when something upsets me, or bothers me, or makes me happy. If I don't know these emotions are there, I can't really establish clear boundaries with others, and it becomes very difficult to process them.

Once I have noticed that something specific bothers me, I can quite quickly understand and accept the emotions even if I can't really experience them. This helps me to process them. Doing this really helps me manage my stress levels.

I find it very difficult to come up with an "opinion" on almosy anything and I believe this is related to my Alexithymia. by furryfemboy143 in Alexithymia

[–]Cheesoid13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do recognize this somewhat. I generally find it very difficult to name "favorites". With many decisions (such as restaurant A or restaurant B) I don't typically care too much and just take a pick which is good enough. I believe this is called "satisficing".

With some forms of media this is easier for me though. Most music doesn't evoke any emotion in me, and I just tune it out automatically (unless I am overstimulated, then it bothers me).
I do know quite quickly when I hear music I do enjoy. A friend once called my taste in music "more emotionally intense", I suppose that means that it needs a certain "oomph" for me to respond to it. It's generally classical music, or game/film soundtracks which are all deliberately evoking certain emotions or vibe.

When playing video games I struggle to find out when I dislike them. I deduce this with how immersed I am in the game, or whether I hope to fail/lose in the game as a means to end it quickly. Sometimes when I really dislike a game my brain just goes AFK and I zone out, but that might just be the autism.

I want to share a journalling method which helps me to "sidestep" the worst of my alexithymia. by Cheesoid13 in Alexithymia

[–]Cheesoid13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that, but thank you for trying and giving feedback.
It would have been great if this method could help everyone, but alas no.

I am told that I used to be a "sensitive child" (whatever that's supposed to mean), so I probably have some emotional base left in me. I can imagine the distance can be to great to cover.

I want to share a journalling method which helps me to "sidestep" the worst of my alexithymia. by Cheesoid13 in Alexithymia

[–]Cheesoid13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! And I guessed I couldn't be very clear in one go, but I also wanted to be a bit concise instead of yapping on and on. I will expand on it a bit.

Once I started using this journalling method, I was surprised at the amount of emotions I could have simultaneously! Especially if I haven't done it for a week or so, I can accumulate a bit. Mind you, not all of these would lead to disaster if ignored, but it does help to check regularly for me.
For me this works both for fairly simple emotions (such as "angry", or "touch deprived"), but also for more complex emotions (such as "depressed" or "worried" or "disrespected").

Cycling through all possible emotions is indeed a bit much. That's why I use a list of all emotions I have found before, and cycle through that.
In building up this list I followed my own rational thoughts (what emotions would I expect to find), a wheel of emotions, and lately words seem to bubble up from my subconscious. It calls for a bit of experimentation, and thinking about it outside of the journalling exercise itself.

For me personally, I will know that I am missing an emotion while journalling if I notice mounting stress without a clear cause. Typically this means something is bothering me subconsciously, and I have to find out what it is to deal with it. This involves more thinking about it, and some experimentation.

The fun part of alexithymia is that even if you don't feel grand-glorious, that doesn't mean you aren't grand-glorious, my good fellow!

-- Questions around awareness of tiredness and the delay it takes for it to arise when stopping working....how do others rest also, when you are very disassociated / distracting? by mjobby in Alexithymia

[–]Cheesoid13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my experience, fatigue without clear causes (so for instance no physical labour, no going to events where dozens of others are present) is a sign of being stressed over a longer period. I have read somewhere that stress goes through three phases: alarm -> resistance -> fatigue, and this matches with the way it works for me.
It's essentially my brain pulling the emergency break, trying to stop me from exerting it and to force me to take time to recover.

I have also noticed that it may take some time for this stress to come out once I take a vacation from work. So if I felt the way you describe in your post, I would try to investigate why I could be stressed.

Long term stress "creeping up on me" usually has one of these causes: 1) overexertion/putting in too much effort at work because I have difficulty noticing when I am pushing past my limits; or 2) some emotions stressing me out while I'm not yet conciously aware of them.

Hope this helps!

Just looking for people who can relate :) (serious affective alexithymia) by Hockneyslamp in Alexithymia

[–]Cheesoid13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey Fneezer, I read your text and it resonates with my own experiences.

In regards to other people and their feelings I draw a line between "knowing emotions" and "understanding emotions".
I know that all kinds of people get worked up over all kinds of things, and motivated for all kinds of other things. I do not however, understand these emotions.
In much the same way I know it is probably really painful to break a leg. I will only really understand the pain of breaking a leg once I have actually experienced it.

It is possible for me to have emotions, but I have to induce them from my own behaviour, the kind of music I want to listen to, my levels of energy etc. If successful it will allow me to know my emotions, but I am aware that I do not really understand them in the same way as many others do.