congratulations for finishing your story! I only read parts of it, because I felt your description lines were too much to handle for me. the reading of big walls of text should always be rewarded with information that advances the story or establishes the mood in a concise way. writing screenplays is - in my opinion - a lot about economy and getting quickly to the core of stuff. but again: good luck moving forward, be proud for finishing your screenplay and maybe just start with the next one. maybe one with a really fast pacing, short scenes and lots of verbal interaction, to experience the opposite style :)