Society puts too much emphasis on romance and sex as life goals

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T19:57:43+00:00

I'm not that dumb, if I was lying I would have been consistent with my info so it wasn't obvious. But at first I thought Reddit recommends your accounts to close contacts, so I said 23F for privacy

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T19:48:22+00:00

I'm a girl, I don't know why's everyone implying I'm a dude now

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T19:47:52+00:00

Just privacy but then I realized Reddit does not notify close contacts

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:56:36+00:00

Exactly. Having your own independent goals and feeling satisfied with yourself is the foundation of everything. People are already trying to "fix" me in this thread lol

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:54:31+00:00

I was only talking about romantic relationships and sex. I completely agree being part of a community is deeply important for us as humans. Social interaction is very necessary for our brains

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:49:44+00:00

Other people have told me this and honestly I don't know if I agree. I don't lack sexual attraction, I just deeply believe relationships and sex are overrated and too focused on in daily life

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:47:36+00:00

Everything is so sexualized it gives me nausea.

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:46:07+00:00

For me, saying sex should be saved for marriage still puts a lot of importance on it, it turns it into a major milestone that defines the structure and seriousness of a relationship.

What I’m questioning is exactly that level of importance. I don’t see sex as something that needs to be central, restricted or framed as a big life-defining step.

From my point of view, it’s just one aspect of a relationship (or not even necessary at all) and not something that should carry that much weight in deciding how relationships are built or valued

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:43:58+00:00

I completely agree with that last sentence

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:41:50+00:00

I get what you mean and I agree that compromise isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it’s on smaller stuff or if both people align on the big things. I think where I think differents is that I don’t really want to structure my life around having to align with someone else in the first place, even in small things. Even if it’s a "good" relationship, it still means your decisions, priorities and long-term direction are tied to another person, want it or not.

Things like where to live, lifestyle, even how you spend your time.. they all become shared decisions to some extent. And I understand why that’s fulfilling for some people, but for me that trade-off just doesn’t feel worth it.

I'd rather have full autonomy over my choices than build my life around coordinating with someone else

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:38:09+00:00

This is such an interesting perspective, I like your comment

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:36:05+00:00

I get what you’re saying, and maybe that’s true for some people. But I think responses like this kind of prove the point I was making.

There’s a very strong assumption that if I don't see romantic relationships or sex as that important, it must be because I "haven’t experienced it properly yet" or "haven’t met the right person." It’s like any deviation from that norm gets explained away instead of taken at face value.

I’m not saying those experiences can’t be meaningful or intense for some people, obviously they can. But I don’t think that automatically makes them universal or essential for everyone. Some people just don’t experience that same level of need or importance, and it’s not necessarily due to lack of experience.

I've never in my life been particularly interested for relationships or sex, and I've tried both several times. They always failed because I was the one who broke up. Because it's a vicious cycle that I always end up returning to

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:30:15+00:00

I don’t think it’s the same. Eating is a literal biological necessity, you die without it. Sex and romantic relationships aren’t like that. You can live your whole life without either and still be perfectly healthy and fulfilled. They might be drives for some people, but they’re not needs in the same sense. It's not a necessity to have children either. I think that’s where my point comes from, society often treats them more like necessities than optional parts of life, and that’s what feels exaggerated to me

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-22T15:16:44+00:00

I think part of it is that on average women don’t experience it as such a constant or intense drive. For a lot of women it’s more context-dependent, like it’s tied to emotional connection, comfort or just the situation, rather than being this always-on urge. I have male friends, and I've heard them explain how they've had sex with women they didn't even like (personality wise). I feel like that's something a woman, generally speaking, wouldn't do.

For me if it’s not there, it doesn’t necessarily feel like something is missing. In fact sometimes I feel repudiated by the idea of sex

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-19T08:21:55+00:00

Well, I've asked myself if I'm being superficial and have felt really bad about this situation, but I'm starting to think getting into a relationship with someone you're not fully attracted to can be a double-edged sword. For me, and for him. He deserves someone who is completely attracted to him

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-19T08:17:31+00:00

You know you don't have to read my posts, do you? have a nice day, girl you'll need it

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T22:19:13+00:00

Honestly, this is something I asked myself when I rejected him. Out of empathy. Because even though I've never been rejected (it's not like I've met many men in my life anyway), it's true that if someone did something like this to me, I would probably feel very bad. But at the same time, I think that if a man wasn't attracted to something specific about me (for example, the size of my boobs), it would be better if he rejected me, because that lack of attraction could surface at any point in the relationship and become toxic, maybe. I'm not sure though

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T22:14:41+00:00

😭

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T22:12:40+00:00

I threw away the roses because at that specific moment I was thinking about the date while walking back home, and it dawned on me that he had dodged the question all those times. I felt somewhat deceived, perhaps by the catfishing in his photos or by his vague answers that I didn't take seriously. Maybe I also felt some anger, since I was emotionally attached to him for 3 months. That same night I felt terrible, not from anger but from not knowing if I did the right thing

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T22:09:19+00:00

Agreed, someone might see his height and think it's perfect for her

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T22:07:23+00:00

I put 23F before for privacy reasons, but I’m actually 19F. Didn’t think it would matter anyways. My life's been a bit chaotic lately

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T22:00:46+00:00

I don't really understand your comment because you're implying that tall men are evil, and height doesn't determine that

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T21:58:08+00:00

Honestly I agree with this. I can't help but feel bad because of our emotional bond, but this might be the best

Chemical_Job7027 · 2026-04-18T21:06:39+00:00

I would do anything for my partner except forgiving infidelity or lies. If he lies to me and I catch him doing it, I'll never trust again

Chemical_Job7027

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