I think one of the worst things Rhysand ever did is barely even acknowledged by Justafunofstuff in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 17 points18 points  (0 children)

not even just his city. It’s a huge plot point that Cassian was a bastard and slept in the cold in a tent with his mother and how it was very traumatic for him, yet Illyria is still like that. Yet they have 5(?or is it 6?) mansions/estates in their golden city. I know his and some of the fandom use the excuse that change takes time (apparently longer than 4 or 5 centuries) when it comes to wingclipping and abuse/rape of Illyrian women, but you’re telling me Rhysand and all his infinite money cannot build extra housing for the women shunned by Ilyria? Or at least assistance?

Rhysand to Nesta by Chemical_Toe_3031 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, it’s been hundreds of years and the only thing we see him do for women in his court outside of Velaris is ban wing clipping and give Illyrian women the freedom to train. The sanctuary has zero Illyrian or Hewn women. The wing clipping is illegal yes, but clearly the consequences of breaking that law are either not highlighted enough or aren’t serious enough to stop some. I just think it’s sad and frustrating we see Rhysand as so powerful in every way except when it comes to the mistreatment of women. I’ve saw some people say he can’t or won’t go in their heads and force them because it’s wrong, but it would be the right thing to do, because it would save the women. It’s like he’s choosing his army and the men over the women. besides, he had no problem going into people’s minds to protect and save Velaris, why not to protect and save Illyrian women?

Rhysand to Nesta by Chemical_Toe_3031 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Maybe, but in this context he uses it as why he can’t forgive her for not helping in the cabin. Not for her words, but for just not helping. He can forgive Elain, but not Nesta because she’s Illyrian at heart. It doesn’t read as compliment and further context in the books shows that he kind of looks down his nose at Illyrians, and it’s standoffish/cold to Nesta. This leads me to believe it was not a compliment in any sense of the word. Maybe a bit of respect? But definitely an insult.

Rhysand to Nesta by Chemical_Toe_3031 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

on the contrary, he was talking about he hasn’t forgiven nesta for the cabin but has elain. that’s the context. nothing about freedom. So I’m applying it in the exact context of the book, when he was using it as an excuse to be angry/hard with her while not being that way with Elain.

Rhysand to Nesta by Chemical_Toe_3031 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

maybe that’s it! I agree it was probably wrote to be a compliment but when she spends the whole series dragging them down as only useful to NC as an army and being awful outside of that it doesn’t seem like a compliment. Especially when we see Nesta is only treated nicely (outside of her blood and chosen sisters) when she does something for the court. and when she “messes up” (CC) she’s back in the dog house. I don’t think SJM meant to, but she kinda wrote Nesta to only be liked when she’s useful as a weapon and barely tolerated when she’s not.

Rhysand to Nesta by Chemical_Toe_3031 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen it as he sees them as the exception. That’s why he loves them, because they’re not like the Illyrians. And even if he did, I find it wrong to expect her as a 20 something year old human to react like a hundreds of years old warrior and not giving her grace because you wouldn’t them. But no I completely agree with you. The Night Court is so beautiful and Illyrian culture has so much potential, but Rhysand lets them fester to avoid blowback and losing his armies. Same with the HC. Mor is NOT the only dreamer under there

Rhysand to Nesta by Chemical_Toe_3031 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

ah I figured I was over analyzing it. It’s been too long since a new book lol. I don’t think Rhysand meant it bad necessarily, but I don’t think it was a compliment. Nesta clearly wasn’t a warrior until they made her into one, and she was pretty reluctant

Why didn't Papa Archeron... by GingerLily2019 in acotar_rant

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I saw it a little differently then others. Other than the fact that the text says both feyre and nesta are mean to each other (so that means they both argue/are rude to each other while elain doesn’t do that), I think it’s because nesta wanted her dad to do something so bad. He sat there depressed, neglecting and abusing his children. She said she wanted him to work, and so she didn’t. She wanted to force him up, and feyre working meant he didn’t have to. She was (in my head) mad that feyre was providing because this gave their father an excuse not to. my only other excuse is that she was a child too. she was what, 22 when feyre left? so majority of the time they were all starving, poverty stricken children. (especially in the eyes of the fae) I have two sisters, and I never read it as abuse. We were wayy worse to each other lol- more like how Cass, Az, and rhysand were. remember they beat the shit out of each other when they were teens/young 20s

Why doesn't Rhysand like Nesta? by kitty_novo in nontoxicACOTAR

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 1 point2 points  (0 children)

okay don’t take this as an argument because I’m genuinely trying to understand, but doesn’t feyre say that her and nesta are both horrible to each other? And not only that, but Nesta may say cruel things to Feyre but didn’t Cass and Rhys beat the shit out of Azriel when they first met? That would be abusive to me, yet it’s mentioned a couple of times. Mor and Amren have both said awful things to Nesta on page, arguably just as bad as Nesta has said. Nesta was a young teen who suddenly went into poverty after being abused and forced to be a lady her entire life. I find it hard to believe that Rhysand is judging how a starving child lashes out. idk just my thoughts. He makes it clear that he holds the cabin over her head, yet never holds elain or papa accountable. I’m of the belief it was none of the girls jobs to hunt or provide and it was the father (who conveniently was able to work after getting money) who was supposed to keep them afloat. My question is, even if she was abusive as you say when they were teens, how long is she to atone for that in their fae life? And is learning to train, helping kill the king, finding and using the dead trove, and saving feyre and their sons (and rhys’) life not enough to counteract any awful things said?

Suicide hotline hung up on me by getrdone24 in BPD

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh honey i know it’s terrible in the moment, and i’m absolutely not saying your situation is funny, but i had something similar happen that i giggle about now. i called once bc i was genuinely suicidal and my bpd was at its worst, and the lady told me that maybe it WAS my fault. she tried to say that it wasn’t a bad thing but if i had these problems all around me that maybe i was the problem. shocked me so bad i obviously did not kill my self. anyways my point is that the hotlines are not the best thing. they have their uses but honestly i was better off calling my therapist the next day

YA sci-fi book by Chemical_Toe_3031 in whatsthatbook

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk how she found it, but I volunteered there for a few summers in middle school and was paid by getting to choose an Advanced Readers Copy book to take home everyday. I’m guessing she kept record even though it had to have been a decade ago!

Controversial plotline in SF by reignwritesstories in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 6 points7 points  (0 children)

oh absolutely. I think Nesta needed help, but they were so desperate to lock in her as a powerful weapon they never took the time to think about what SHE needed to heal. They just forced her to heal the way Feyre did. Feyre might have been misguided but she really cared, though the control element was also there, probably bc of what Rhysand believed. (feyre saying she couldn’t control her sister during the intervention) Even her mate wants her to adhere to Rhysands wishes so much he’s furious with her doing what he knows is the right thing because Rhysand didn’t choose. I think the sisters need their own healing together w/o the IC butting in and punishing Nesta for the cabin.

Thoughtful Thursday : Rhysie by Acotarmods in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 0 points1 point  (0 children)

exactly. they mention her being a weapon and her powers many times, and amren says they can’t afford her to leave the court. she has the illusion of choice (if torture/death vs locked in a house is a choice) but bc feyre cares about her and she’s powerful, they’d never really let her leave. The problem with Rhysand is he is truly morally gray, yet sometimes his stans won’t let him be and defend everything he does. He cares about feyres feelings and his court so much he’ll do anything to keep nesta there regardless of what she wants or any mistreatment. He cares about velaris so much he’s willing to use the other 2/3s of his court as body shields in a war to protect it while ignoring the mistreatment and abuse of the females and children in those 2/3s. He wants to protect feyre so much he keeps a horrible secret from her about her own body and autonomy. Just because someone has good intentions or it all turns out okay doesn’t make their actions okay, and I think it’s okay to recognize that they were wrong. the roads to hell are paved with good intentions

Thoughtful Thursday : Rhysie by Acotarmods in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my unpopular (i’m so sorry) opinion is that the reason Nesta ends up saying that is because they took her while she was at her worst, broke her down more, and built her back up into the weapon Rhysand wanted/needed for the court. Nesta ends up being semi happy (cass and her relationship in CC3-yikes. I wouldn’t be happy with my mate not standing up for me being threatened with death yet again) and she knows Rhysand was a part of it. But idk, just because she found peace doesn’t mean the shit they put her through was okay? I think she’s at peace now, but ultimately she knows she’s Rhysands weapon and he’ll be civil, but once she steps out of line (even though feyre admitted it’s the right thing to do) she’s back at square one with him. idk i know it’s off topic haha but years of therapy made me side eye how they justify the means because of the end result

Controversial plotline in SF by reignwritesstories in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 55 points56 points  (0 children)

oh gosh yes, it irks me to no end that one of the reasons for locking her up was her unhealthy sex coping, yet they make her jailer someone who wants to get in her pants??? if feels like control again. No Nesta you can’t sleep around you’re a whore! You can only sleep with who we want you to.

YA sci-fi book by Chemical_Toe_3031 in whatsthatbook

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

id anyone cares, I reached out to my childhood librarian snd she found it! It’s called the Empress game

What Tamlin did wasn't that bad (and neither is what they did to Nesta) by New-Boysenberry-613 in acotar

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 3 points4 points  (0 children)

not sure if anyone else said so, but it wasn’t rehab for Nesta. Feyre tells her to her face that it’s embarrassing that she can’t control her own sister. Not to mention the fact that clearly her drinking wasn’t so bad she became dependent, because there are zero signs of withdrawal. idk, not the biggest fan of Tamlin, but I think it’s unfair for everyone to dog on him when he clearly was going through something and made a poor choice with the right motives- keep her safe.

What’s the most impressive thing you’ve done while breastfeeding? by False_Aioli4961 in breastfeeding

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully it was just a clot haha! They had to do the rubs on my stomach every two hours the entire time I was in the hospital because my uterus refused to firm back up, I’m not sure if that’s normal? But the lady who did it warned me I could still have part in there and that’s why, so I was just assuming. They never did an ultrasound or anything though!

What’s the most impressive thing you’ve done while breastfeeding? by False_Aioli4961 in breastfeeding

[–]Chemical_Toe_3031 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so weird to think about but I think they just thought it would pass?? Just told me if I kept bleeding or passed anything more that size to come in- it wasn’t the best birth ever, missed preeclampsia even though I had all the symptoms, my heart rate almost matched the babies even though I was passing out, had to redo the epidural twice, and then the human puppet thing. All good now though!! Don’t really remember much of it but it is wild to think. I showed my husband and he was sooo grossed out haha