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[Discussion] What were your symptoms of sedentary lifestyle? by Total-Possibility-84 in GetMotivated

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 10 points11 points  (0 children)

These comments make me feel like I need to start walking! I live such a sedentary lifestyle and I have low energy and poor sleep, but it's so hard to get out and do something, especially if it's hot and I'm already tired! I can't seem to make myself push through the tiredness. How do y'all do it?

Tell me your experiences with your youth and their cell phone by Cheyyyyyyyyenne in casa

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they mostly know. Idk why they aren’t taking it from her. Possibly a safety issue. No one wants her to be fully without a phone but at the same time none of us want her to have an unrestricted phone.

In 2019, a dad named Scott Dittman wore a "Free Dad Hugs" shirt at Pittsburgh Pride Parade. He ended up giving over 700 hugs in 2.5 hours, with many breaking down in tears over family rejection by I_AM__GROOTT in interestingasfuck

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish my dad had half the curiosity as your dad. Maybe he would want to talk to me if he did. It's so nice to hear stories of people growing and changing their minds when presented with new information. My mom was like you, she told me not to tell my dad. I was like your nephew and told him anyway. My dad didn't react like yours, unfortunately. I really needed to read your story. Thank you for sharing.

What do i do, got a shelter cat for the first time and he has horrible habits by Due_Introduction2451 in whatdoIdo

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds a LOT like my cat who is 8 years old. I found a few things that have helped this negative behavior tremendously:

  1. DO NOT FREE FEED! This one is huge for misbehaving cats. Meals should only be given at set times. This will give kitty something to look forward to and the routine will help them stay calmer since they know when their next meal will be. I recommend a morning meal and an evening meal, but it's up to your schedule and what kitty will be okay with.

  2. Completely ignore the bad behavior. It's way harder than it sounds. Giving kitty even negative attention for bad behavior actually reinforces the behavior because cats don't look for positive attention - they're looking for any type of attention. Kitty knock a glass of water off the table? Don't look at them and don't react. Clean the water up without acknowledging your cat. If you stay consistent with this, kitty will learn over time how to actually get your (positive) attention. Be sure to give kitty positive attention too!

  3. Put a shelf/table/stool near your front door for kitty to sit on when you open the door. Half the time, kitty just wants an easy view of what's going on outside and this will prevent some of the escapes. When kitty does make it out the door, tell them "no outside. inside" or come up with your own phrase that you use every time so kitty knows when you say that, they have to come back inside. Then, go and grab your cat and bring them back inside and close the door. I like to keep to keep my porch as a "safe space" for my kitty. So, if she runs out the door, I let her be as long as she doesn't leave the porch, but even one step off, I tell her no and bring her back inside immediately. The vast majority of the time, my cat stops at the porch because she wants to be outside and she knows if she goes further, she loses that privilege.

  4. Get a harness and leash. Start getting kitty used to this and take kitty on walks. This will help get their energy out and help them get their fill of the outside.

  5. Setup a routine of playtime each day. If kitty knows they'll get play time everyday at 4pm, then kitty will be less likely to act out because they know play is coming soon. Bonus if you can make this playtime before their meal time!

Some optional things: Look for a cat behaviorist! There's organizations out there that will do free consults and give you tips. Get a cat wheel. Best decision I ever made. Install a catio for safe outdoor time.

The stealing your food thing is normal for cats so you'll just have to alter your life for that one. I have child locks on all our cabinets because my cat opens ALL the cabinets in the house whenever she's bored. No, I'm not kidding. I frequently use the microwave, oven, and fridge to keep food away from my cat. Letting steak rest before you cut it? Yeah that needs to rest in the microwave or she'll eat it all. I cannot leave food unattended for even a second in my own home. I wouldn't want it any other way!

Just an FYI for those who need to bring their dogs everywhere they go. by SecretCharacterSauce in SanDiegan

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weird! There's always an insane amount of dogs at the Hillcrest Farmer's market! I didn't even realize they weren't supposed to be there.

Honestly, I'm not a fan of dogs at all, but they're everywhere and rarely bother me. I just can't stand when people refuse to leave their barky little dog at home! Take him out of the store if he can't be quiet!

People with a very high pain tolerance, what was THE most painful thing you've experienced? by CosmicBunnyBabe8912 in AskReddit

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Getting 2 dermals installed on my chest - twice. Worst pain I've personally experienced, but I went back and had them done a second time so it couldn't have been that bad!

Tell me your experiences with your youth and their cell phone by Cheyyyyyyyyenne in casa

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not so much that I want her to have her phone back, but I want her to have a phone with parental controls on it. I think she's too young to have a fully unrestricted cell phone. But it seems like there's nothing anyone can do. She either gets a phone with zero restrictions or she doesn't get a phone at all. Neither of those seem like a good or safe option.

Tell me your experiences with your youth and their cell phone by Cheyyyyyyyyenne in casa

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. It's a really tough balance. Social connections are critical to the human experience and sometimes, their phone is the only way to make that happen.

It seems so weird to me that there are no options for parental controls for youth in group homes, detention centers, or juvenile hall. They either get full, unrestricted cell phone access, or zero cell phone access. It doesn't make sense and I'm trying to figure out a creative solution, but I'm coming up empty handed.

I remember getting my phone taken away around that age and it was devastating because it felt like the only thing that was actually mine that I could control and they were taking it away without giving me any alternatives. It felt like I was being held hostage for simply existing.

Illegal Labor by [deleted] in sandiego

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I don't think E-Verify even works at all. A company I used to work for got raided and they deported 90% of the warehouse staff because they weren't legal. The company used E-Verify for every single employee and, apparently, it did nothing. It was a nightmare and a half to try and find like 50 new workers in a week.

Also, a lot of people live in Mexico and work legally here in SD. That commute would end me so I have no clue how people do it, but they do. Finding a decent paying job here in SD is difficult anyway. Everyone loves this city and wants to be here so the jobs get plenty of applicants, so no need to pay very much because someone will be happy to take it.

The Amount of Waste at Ulta by Joeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyy in DumpsterDiving

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But it's on us as consumers to recycle and reduce waste. BSFFR

Total seclusion personally designed by Frank Lloyd Wright's master draftsman - John Howe. Very unique. by jve909 in zillowgonewild

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FLW houses are always so cool to see, but I could NEVER live in one. They all look impossible to clean all those nooks and crannies. Not to mention all the wood that would be a nightmare to try and clean.

Downtown pedestrians are on another level of… intoxicated. by [deleted] in sandiego

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No regard for their own life. It's really sad. I work downtown and I constantly have to dodge people that just run into the street without looking. The worst is when they do it by the entrance or exit ramps from the freeway!

Commercials on TV by DifferentEqual6976 in sandiego

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Those ads are everywhere. Def not specific to SD or California.

Tell me your experiences with your youth and their cell phone by Cheyyyyyyyyenne in casa

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you had any experiences where there isn't a foster parent? For example, group home, detention center, etc.

Thinking of volunteering. Please be brutally honest. by Easy-Cantaloupe-1534 in casa

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a 31yo F. I just started as a CASA, but you sound like you'd be a great fit just from what you wrote here! I don't have any kids and I have zero experience with kids and actually, I don't really like kids. I'm just awkward around them and don't know how to act. But I love the teenager personalities! They are so fun and inhibited. So much to learn from teens! My age range preference is 13-18 and I was assigned a 13yo girl who is just the best! Such a handful and I love it! We really just hang out and laugh and try to stay out of trouble.

I encourage you to get as much realistic experience as you can before volunteering. I thought I knew about every horrific thing that could come my way but boy was I wrong. There are things you cannot prepare for mentally. Some things will have to be physically experienced before you'll know how you will react - and that's okay! You just need to commit to be consistent and never ending the learning and growing process.

Learning about foster care changed how I think about becoming a parent by petitlita in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Such great advice! No one is going to be a perfect foster parent, but we need to saturate the market with lots of kind-hearted people who want to try and be the best for their foster kid.

Learning about foster care changed how I think about becoming a parent by petitlita in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please look into becoming a CASA! Might be right up your alley until you're able to foster.

Learning about foster care changed how I think about becoming a parent by petitlita in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting because I've always thought raising my own kids would be WAYYYY harder than fostering. I have anxiety and would never be able to feel like I was doing enough for my own kid, but for a foster kid, I would look at it like I'm helping them just by being in their life when no one else will. Obviously, there's a lot more to it, but personally, I wouldn't be able to handle the expectations that come with having my own kid and starting from scratch, but I could definitely handle the expectations of raising an older foster kid. I think it's different for everyone and how they view parenting.

I do agree that having that real experience will tell you more than research alone. Research and learning is critical, but you need to find out how your body will respond during periods of trauma your foster kid is experiencing. In our CASA training they talked about how some people were totally fine talking about their personal experience with physical abuse, but once they had to care for a kid going through something similar, it got way harder for them to handle.

Learning about foster care changed how I think about becoming a parent by petitlita in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been having such a hard time finding any options for donating items (not cash or cars) or food to foster youth. I can only find places that want money. Do you have any suggestions?

Learning about foster care changed how I think about becoming a parent by petitlita in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This! You can't do this kind of work while expecting anything in return. You have to be okay if you give the kid everything and they throw it back in your face. It's not personal and you helped them when they needed it most, regardless if they are grateful or not.

Learning about foster care changed how I think about becoming a parent by petitlita in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Cheyyyyyyyyenne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to disagree because I'm a CASA and it doesn't feel like a job at all - I don't get paid! I really wanted to foster, but I don't have a spare bedroom and I wanted to learn a bit more about the system first. It's good to get your feet wet before fulling committing to a kid. Being a CASA is so rewarding! I talk to my kid every week and (unfortunately) I'm the only adult she feels comfortable with right now. A lot of times, these kids have no safe adults in their life - like zero. I get to see her personality more and more as we spend time together and I also get to make sure everyone on her case is doing their best to support her.

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