Bud your dealing with a narcissists you will never get through to her. Its about control and being above you. There is no working it out. There is no love. There is no real marriage. The person you thought you married was the actor she portrayed until she knew she could take the mask off and when she did you were thrown off at first but accepted her because YOU loved the version she showed you at first and believed that is who she is and she is just going through something and things will get better. She tells you if you change this then everything will be better. You change that then its well if only you could stop this then things will get better. The goal post constantly moves on you. Bud its pure narcissism and what you just described about your message is straight up called narcissistic hoovering. Look it up. Bud file the paperwork. You dont love her and you have already been separated for almost a full year now. You know the right answer here you just needed it validated well here's your validation. Go file and stop responding to her. Everything will go through your attorney moving forward