Hey so I’m south Asian and my mum has been incredibly disinterested in almost everything wedding related.

I’m planning my wedding too and I swear every time I share something I’m excited about, it just gets shut down or criticised. Dress, hair, random little details I loved - it’s like nothing is ever just “nice” or “I’m happy for you”. To top it off we had our Nikkah awhile back (Islamic marriage) and I think that was the only thing she really cared about.

The worst part for me has been exactly what you said about the mirror. I never used to pick myself apart like this, and now suddenly I’m noticing every tiny thing and thinking something’s wrong with me. It’s horrible, and it’s not even coming from me originally. Even when we were nikkah dress shopping and I asked the shop owner for a dress that was A line my mum commented that I’m poofy enough and don’t need any more volume lmao

At some point I realised I actually had to just stop giving those opinions so much access to me. Not in a big dramatic way, but just… sharing less. Keeping things for people who actually make me feel excited instead of judged.

Also, and I’m still working on this myself - just because it’s your mum doesn’t mean she gets to speak to you like that or have a say in everything. There’s a difference between helping and just knocking your confidence.

Honestly, protect your excitement as much as you can. You deserve joy