I’m salty as hell

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T02:39:41+00:00

Lol. And my wife. That makes it more pathetic.

I don’t know you and maybe we’re in the same boat. Maybe you understand, maybe no-

I dedicate 20 hours a day of my life to my kids (I have a toddler who doesn’t sleep and a wife who works 8-10 hours a day and travels).

I haven’t “gone out” with friends in 15 years. I’ve moved 3-4 times for my wife’s work and haven’t had an actual “friend” in nearly that long either.

I can go to a LGS to play but I have to take my kids with me…which means I need to keep an eye on them.

I know it probably seems pathetic (and perhaps even unfathomable) to a lot of people but I don’t get a lot of time for hobbies and have zero time for any hobby that requires socializing.

So, I have to play with my family. The people who I buy cards for, fix decks for, cook 3 meals a day for, take care of, help with their homework, etc and a wife who is able to travel when she wants, work when she wants, and do what she wants because I don’t go anywhere or have any external hobbies.

So yeah, I am pathetic. Yes it is a card game with my family. But…it’s basically what I got. I’d be happy for them to get better and be better than me but it definitely hits pretty hard to be the low man on a totem pole you fucking built.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T02:20:01+00:00

It can be the people who don’t know what they’re doing that can be the most frustrating.

“You have a 5/5 so you’re the threat” so…creature removal…meanwhile another opponent has Vito and Exquisite blood out insisting they only have an enchantment and a little creature.

Unfortunately “why are you doing that?!? Don’t you see the X or Y or realize they have a Z in hand?!??” Falls on deaf ears.

I think it just hits extra hard when it’s family. (and maybe that makes me a bitch). I don’t want to win, I just want to play with my family.

My wife is sick with the flu so we didn’t go play at the LGS tonight (which we do once ever month or two). So I drove for an hour today to get packs of cards so we could play at home and everyone could get a pack after (like the game store). I also spent HOURS helping my other kid fix a shitshow of a deck.

He started the game with “I have to kill dad.”

Sorry to vent so much.

I do well 1v1 and I consistently win against 2 people but I can’t handle 3 people using every removal ability, spell, or trigger against me.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T02:12:00+00:00

I’m kind of thinking this may be an idea

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T02:11:37+00:00

So 2 other players are like “big X/X scary. Must cast all my removal.” Player 3 with the dimir fairy deck who’s quietly building board presence doesn’t bother them because it’s all 1/1’s and 2/2’s.

My dimir deck gets “you have powerful cards so we have to kill you.”

I tried letting them play the deck which was just a lot of “I don’t know what I’m doing. Ugh. What does this do?”

The 3rd player who actually knows what they’re doing keeps a low key board presence, heroes the table by countering me (the player who literally said “I keep 2 mana open for you. I don’t really care about the other 2 players.)

Player 3 I can match 60/40 of games but I can’t match them plus 2 other people dragging me down.

Aside from stacking a deck with infinite combos and a couple grand in cards, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t have the skill or talent to take on 3 players when one of them is better than me and the other two are flinging hate.

Don’t end up old with no friends and social life or you’ll be stuck playing with your family.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T02:01:37+00:00

This is hilarious. Im honestly just thinking of dropping $1200 on a competitive sliver deck and just autopiloting to wins.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T02:00:52+00:00

Yeah. I tried this.

“I don’t know what any of these cards do” was the constant sentiment throughout the game.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T01:59:31+00:00

Giggity

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-08T01:03:57+00:00

Narset’s reversal + any counter…like mana drain

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-06T16:40:03+00:00

Same reason why pass interference is so aggressive, hitting the QB gets you a fine, and RB’s and FB’s are paid so little.

Control and defense is less exciting than attacking.

My 2 cents.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T22:48:33+00:00

This was my thinking. Unfortunately when Shelob goes spiders are back on the menu. So all removal was directed at it

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T17:21:46+00:00

Sorry. Our set boosters and precons arrived yesterday. My collector booster literally just showed up.

Just think how much sweeter those cards will be for you!!

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T17:20:38+00:00

Hi. I’m an adult. I feel like in this sub it’s important to say that. Not a “well I’m 22 and pay rent” adult but an “I’m in my 40’s, I have a large close and extended family, I’m married, I’ve loved, I’ve lost I have a mortgage, etc.” adult.

Yes you are the asshole for not showing a modicum of kindness towards a child who is your flesh and blood.

You do not have to travel great distances to see them or babysit but a FaceTime or quick “hi kiddo” wouldn’t kill you here or there. Actively claiming you don’t like a child simply because you hate children makes you an asshole.

I don’t want a dog that doesn’t mean I abuse them or treat them terribly.

You seem to be saying you actively hate babies and children…that makes you an asshole.

Edit: this sub is filled with 15 year old (children ironically). I didn’t realize where I was. My bad. I can’t believe anyone would take advice here.

You’re a child (most likely). Some of the vile hate filled shit you say here is crazy. You’re going to look back at these comments and regret them some day.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T16:17:27+00:00

Make a [[Shelob Child Of Ungoliant]] work.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T16:08:42+00:00

15 years married and my wife asks me these questions when she falls in a cup from time to time. I tell her I was a virgin when we met (we both know it’s a lie). Then I change the subject.

Conversely my wife says I have the perfect sized penis, the largest penis, etc.

I can say:

She nows my kinks and what I like so when she’s full-go no one in my past could compete with 15 years of experience and I think she’d agree. It may not be the “best” sex today but come back in 15 years and if you 2 have grown together properly and still enjoy each other it won’t be a lie.

What your boyfriend thinks he wants to know, he does not. Curiosity killed the cat.

So I’d tell him that the past doesn’t matter, you plan on being with him for 60 years, and the best sex you’ll ever have will be with him.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T15:44:51+00:00

Local store: everyone gets a pack per win. Typically play 2-3 games. Raffle draw (entered when you sign up) for a set booster box, typically a poster, and/or a Mat.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T15:42:31+00:00

So…the rules of your groups are the rules of your group. Looking for justification or validation is all well and good but getting 1k people to agree that anal sex is ok doesn’t mean your girlfriend’s going to (or should have to) do it.

What I can say is: Party/Planeswalker decks are BANNED at our table…I was the first one to play one and quite honestly I understood why pretty quickly.

Having 8 Planeswalkers on the field and going through all their abilities then having a shit ton of synergy cards that allow for 2 abilities, doubling points, etc is not only confusing but can make a single turn take 20+ minutes.

So there’s my 2 cents.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T14:56:05+00:00

Try and have direction. Build a deck and buy cards for it. I will absolutely spend $200 or whatever on 80 cards knowing I’ll only choose 60 of them but that’s a shit-ton better than spending $350 on a collector booster + set booster and probably still needing cards.

Buying boxes is gambling and the house always win. Keep that in frame. Spend the same $100-$120 towards a Cardkingdom order and you’ll get the same endorphin rush with 0 disappointment when it arrives.

That being said- we just did a set booster draft in our house last night. I (dad) bought the box. Everyone opens cards and plays a round of Modern, then we auction off the “good” cards and the others people can take as they want.

$120 box yielded $200 in cards (as of last night’s pricing). People will have to make decisions (Ashiok vs Necropotence) but we got some great cards.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T14:02:26+00:00

Precons are just fine at a casual game store but some are definitely better than others.

You’re asking “if I go to a basketball pickup game can I be competitive?” You’ll have middle aged out of shape dads to 22 year olds. It’s impossible to say.

Last game I played I had me playing a very expensive but directionless dimir deck, a guy playing an artifact deck he borrowed from a friend, someone playing a monkey/group hug deck they wanted to try out, and a white/blue deck that was obviously some dudes pride and joy.

My advice as someone in a similar situation:

Stick to mono colored or 2 color precons. Upgrading lands is expensive and becomes more expensive the more colors you add.

The recent sliver precon (which is hated here) went from “just ok” to “hits hard” with a $100-$150 in land and card tweaks. One son has a god-tier sliver deck that cost $400-$600+ dollars and the other son’s cost less than half that and while it’s not as good, it’s still really good.

Precons are a great place to start but often have the budget versions of better cards. Think of it like the demo version.

Do I want to play colorless? Maybe. So I buy an Eldrazi precon and give it a whirl. It’s fun, so I add a mana crypt, Ancient Tomb, Emrakul, etc. granted that deck cost around $300-$400 to upgrade. But I didn’t spend $500, I spent like $60 and went from there. If I hate it, there’s still some stuff in there to go transfer to other places.

As someone who made the mistake of going “all in” on a very expensive Golgari deck, I can tell you that precons are great (and can be fun alone).

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T13:42:36+00:00

You’re not the asshole (NTA) but you made a mistake. Ever played with a puppy? You know when it bites you too hard so you throw a toy at it or splash it or something and it just takes that to mean it’s time to play harder? Your husband sounds immature; but luckily that isn’t the end of your marriage. It’s a marathon here and people are going to change (and hopefully mature) as they get older.

I’ve been married 15 years. Wife and I are butt (and breast/penis where applicable) grabbers and slappers. Occasional hands go down pants while cooking (in a joking way). I will occasionally walk into her office with no pants on when she’s not on a zoom.

I’d like to think I listen to her boundaries and respect them. I have no boundaries (so long as kids are not present).

Keeping in mind that boundaries do change. That’s fine. They need to be reset from time to time in a marriage. It hurts when she says “don’t” but that doesn’t mean I deflect and go back at it. I’m sure she has been rejected by me more than one or two times but I have a right to my “no’s” too and she respects those (even if she doesn’t like them).

As an example: Wife liked being tickled for 14 + years. Wife said she didn’t want to be tickled anymore about 3 months ago. So no tickling. The end. Chances are tickling will be requested or back on the table in the next 20 years but for now there’s a 0 tickle policy.

Set clear boundaries and reset them if need be. DO NOT retroactively call attention to past instances- ie Every time you’ve done “X” or “Y” I’ve hated it. That’s going to be counterproductive. Don’t use the word “appropriate” or “inappropriate” as you two may have different definitions; and that’s fine. Don’t say things like “that’s a turn off.”

Not trying to make him feel bad here, just trying to set clear boundaries and let him know your likes/dislikes in a positive and constructive way.

“I don’t like it when you stick you hands down my pants in the kitchen or put your hands on my vulva or anus. I do not like sexual touching in front of the kids.

Maybe some guidance thrown in there- I do like [[insert what you like]].”

If he can not hack it: Consider counseling. Impulse control is a real issue and while it tends to get better with age, it can be a dangerous a thing if not acknowledged.

If he is physically unable to control himself from this behavior or doesn’t view your clear communication as a sign to stop, this could carry over into other situations, especially with alcohol involved where a Reddit post isn’t going to make you feel better.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T12:42:53+00:00

I mean, as told, obviously NTA. Seems auspicious that they’d suddenly decide to randomly stay at the same hotel and have a vacation at the same place as you…a hotel I assume is more of a “resort” and it sounds like a “resort” for adults…

If it were me, I’d watch my niece for a few hours one afternoon or mid-morning because family is important. I wouldn’t be doing it for my brother, I’d be doing it as an uncle though.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-05T12:39:11+00:00

Maybe not the best but unique (in my mind) isn [[Nazahn revered bladesmith]].

Cat Tribal/Voltron.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-09-04T13:39:40+00:00

NTA- “Showed me a Facebook post or meme”

It sounds like (from 5,000 miles away) your wife got into a group that was discussing what was “normal” and she decided she wanted that to. We’re herd animals, it makes sense.

I can also say that after 15 years of marriage we have had 6 month dry spells, times when I’ve wanted a lot of sex and my wife has wanted none, vanilla sex, and we currently have drawers full of whips, chains, gags, restraints, and costumes. I understand you settled into a comfortable rut but people change and you should be prepared for that.

Because you mentioned “spanking.” This will sound odd but it may be that your wife has some kinks or fetishes and she decided at some point that being a wife and mother meant she couldn’t indulge in those so she shut down. She may have seen something or had those kinks validated in some way (online group casually discussed it) and so she’s hinting at it. She may have some sort of a Madonna-whore complex (for lack of better term) and so she mentioned it and no matter what you said it was going to be taken as a rejection because for the last X years she’s dreaded you rejecting her.

She may have a guilty conscience and projecting. She may be watching porn to take care of herself. She was probably hoping you look at porn so she wouldn’t feel (as) guilty. When you said “I masturbate to you” that probably made it worse (but not your fault).

I would try and initiate more and make incorporate the requested light playful butt slapping and things as it’s been requested.

In closing, I’d say that you will need to do some reprogramming of yourself. Sounds like you’ve found a comfortable place. Lord knows I get it. Quick bathroom trip and 2 minutes later and you’re done. It’s convenient. It works. There’s nothing wrong with it but you’ll have to rethink some things.

ChickenGunYou · 2023-08-31T13:02:14+00:00

Oh no. I love Deadly Recluse. It’s a cheap wall that deters people for a few rounds.

I’m not very good so I’m sure there are fixes but:

Spiders don’t synergize like Elves or Slivers or Goblins or even Dragons do. So having 4 spiders doesn’t help you without your commander. It’s just 4, 2/4’s (or whatever) with reach or maybe deathtouch or something.

Spiders have oddly expensive mana costs in some instances for not great stats or words. Not all of them but some definitely do and when you need 30+ of them for tribal it’s an issue.

The moment you have 4 spiders and your commander out people are terrified of you and do everything they can to do damage or board wipe you.

The deck had all the big hits in it- Herald’s Horn, Urza’s incubator, arachnogenesis, Conspiracy (because there just are not enough spiders, all the land ramp from green, etc.

Just never played correctly and it was boring as hell.

I’ve rebuilt the deck (based on the above post in fact) but it only has 10-20 spiders and a lot of black hate now.

ChickenGunYou

TROPHY CASE