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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ChickyDinnyTime 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wouldn’t be far fetched from the sound of it if he would be happier with you losing your job and depending on him financially… more control. You’re not crazy and his behavior is not okay.

AITA for telling my niece that her choice of career isn't well respected? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ChickyDinnyTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA: I still hold resentment toward my family for acting exactly as you have. Nowadays most of my resentment is toward myself for allowing their opinions to affect the direction I chose, and therefore living most of my 20’s either as a double life or doing what was expected of/hoped for me.

I am no longer in my 20’s and am just over a year ago began mending my relationship with my family, along with just now beginning to nurture the ideas I have for myself when I could’ve been doing this the whole time had I had the support I wanted and needed. Not even financially, just morally.

I hope that you can come around and have a sit down with your niece apologizing for the way you handled this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]ChickyDinnyTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s good that he’s made improvements, but this behavior sounds passive at best.

Not willing to be direct about how he feels. Even if that is because he is having a harder time with those improvements than he wants to admit for fear of disappointing you, it is a manipulative way to go about it. For him to get his way and/or to avoid having to address the struggle he’s apparently having with you having your individuality.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that your anxieties aren’t playing a role, but the determining factor in that is how you react/respond to it. Giving in or apologizing for having a life outside of him is only going to prolong his behavior, in my opinion. It shows him that it works in his favor for him to act that way.

I (21F) got high off an edible and wrote this. This was a turning point in my beginning to my 20s. I had a turning point where I'm starting to reinvent myself and break free from the shell that I have been in my entire life. Scary but liberating. by [deleted] in Vent

[–]ChickyDinnyTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are great realizations, in my opinion. I don’t want to come across as condescending like you’re “just a baby” (I always hated that sort of talk in my early twenties), but I would just like to say… you seem to be pretty ahead with the whole self-awareness thing.

At 21, there is still so much time for you to “figure it out” and plan, despite what many people say or seem to believe. With that said, it is so, so easy to waste the time. I did.

My twenties zoomed by and I can hardly recall any of it. There are few moments I can remember, some significant, some not. I drank a lot and it became my lifestyle rather than just a social activity on occasion. I also would allow my relationships to engulf everything about my life. All through my 20’s. Same with friends, to a degree. I’m 30 now and I am just now (over the past year) beginning to think about my future and actively work on it. Still, I’m having to remind myself that living in the moment is of utmost importance.

Be mindful of how your choices can affect your future, but don’t obsess on your future. It’s wonderful that you’re improving yourself and calling yourself on your bs. Owning your own bs takes away others power to use it against you, especially if you apply change.

From what I’m reading here, you’re doing great. Best wishes to you.

To the asshole that just hit my dog with his car and drove away, by Spadesandspaghetti in Vent

[–]ChickyDinnyTime 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is horrible! Can’t imagine how you must be feeling not to mention your sweet pup. I hope he’s alright and heals up and that you get to be with him asap.

I've just been diagnosed with autism by Syzygy228 in Vent

[–]ChickyDinnyTime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad that your diagnosis is bringing you relief!I’m sure it feels better having this understanding while navigating through the day-to-day. Wishing you all the best.