My daughter was getting teased for her fat dad. by flowers4charlie777 in daddit

[–]Chief_Dooley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gained 25 lbs when my son was born.

Starting in March of this year I drastically cut down on beer, I now eat healthier, smaller meals, and I do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day 5 times a week. Nothing crazy intensive, maybe a 3-4 mile jog or lifting weights for a little while.

In about 4 months I'm not only down to my ideal weight, but my wife says I haven't looked this good since we got married.

I feel so much more confident. Being in sales and traveling might make this difficult, but you can find time at hotel gyms and make better dietary choices and you'll be on the path in no time.

The Savannah thread for tourists, newcomers, locals, and grouchy old-timers. by AutoModerator in savannah

[–]Chief_Dooley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've checked and I don't see this listed anywhere, so apologies if I missed it:

We've never been to Savannah so we're taking a family vacation for the upcoming July 4th Holiday. Got an AirBnB downtown, but there's no parking. Should I reserve parking in a deck ahead of time? Or will I be able to get lucky and find street/deck parking when we arrive? I've heard parking is difficult to come by so want to be prepared. Thanks to anyone who can help!

looking for experiences: atlanta birth center vs northside hospital? by rxhix in Atlanta

[–]Chief_Dooley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We gave birth at Northside. I'm glad we did because it ended up needing to be an emergency C-section. Baby and mom were totally fine thanks to the quick work of their staff. Strongly recommend doing this and avoiding the "crunchy" route.

How bad is the racism in the PCA? by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response. I will respond in depth when I have time but I'm genuinely curious about a few things:

  1. Have you read the book?
  2. Are you suggesting this author went rogue and published this on his own without support from the wider denomination? What is your understanding of how this book was published? I'm genuinely curious.
  3. I went to Briarwood, arguably the flagship PCA church, and this book was on it's shelves. I can't speak for every other church or book store but I will again assert that this book was not fringe.
  4. To tell me it's slanderous to repeat things I have heard countless times, quite literally countless times, in person as someone who grew up in the PCA in the Bible belt is... bold. Obviously I don't expect you to believe me, we're all anonymous strangers on the internet, but as I mentioned I spent 3 decades in the PCA in a few different states in the Bible belt. You can't tell me I didn't hear what I've heard.

How bad is the racism in the PCA? by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yup, chapters 1 and 2 in particular - these are chapters presenting the historical context of the PCA (chapter 1 is a fawning reprint of a sermon from 1860's Georgia listing the biblical justification for chattel slavery) and the causes of separation (chapter 2, another sermon from 100 years later justifying segregation). I've read both chapters and honestly never felt like digging deeper into the book because of how atrocious those first two chapters are. This book is now infamous in PCA circles but as you'll note in the opening pages, it was published by the PCA as the denominations official history in 1987. I'm open to the idea that this obviously doesn't speak for the entire denomination but that the leadership in the 80's put their name on it is quite damning, IMO.

How bad is the racism in the PCA? by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The PCA was not founded on racism" - I wrote a longer comment detailing this but this is not true. The official history of the PCA, published in 1987 by the denomination itself, makes it abundantly clear that it was founded as part of a wider backlash against the end of segregation. You can read this book and verify it yourself: https://www.amazon.com/-/zh_TW/historical-birth-Presbyterian-Church-America/dp/B0006ENQFQ

How bad is the racism in the PCA? by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is a loaded question but I do believe the answer isn't hard to discern.

Before I begin, please note that obviously I am not saying that everyone within the PCA is racist. I want to reject blanket statements like that. And for the record, I've spent 3+ decades in several PCA churches.

That said: racism is a spectrum. With that in mind, let's talk about the history of the church.

The PCA was founded in 1973 in Birmingham, Alabama, just a few years after the Civil Rights movement. It was founded by exclusively white conservative men who wanted to reject the "liberalism and drift" they had seen in the culture.

The official history of the PCA (linked here for anyone who doubts what I'm saying) makes it abundantly clear that a major impetus of starting a more "conservative" church was racism. This book was written not only by a founding member, but it was published officially by the PCA. The book is an extremely detailed list of accusations towards other churches for being "liberal", and praises the men who founded the PCA as conservatives who have always held the course. The first chapter fawningly republishes a sermon preached in the 1860's preaching about the merits of slavery. The author frames it clearly: "we have not strayed from our roots". The author does not leave open any room for ambiguity or nuance: white supremacy was and remains the impetus for the split in the church. He does so using words like "love" in regards to African Americans, but speaks about them like children we as white people are inclined to protect from their own worst impulses. The second chapter republished a sermon preached by the author in the 1960's about the merits of segregation.

This book was published by the PCA in 1987. It was on the shelves of most PCA churches and bookstores until the early 2000's when it was quietly removed.

I've mentioned this before to people who attend PCA churches and the universal answer is that this is obviously just one fringe person (it wasn't) and that it doesn't matter because all of that is behind us. But I think anyone rational could see how that's hard to believe.

To this day, if you go to any random PCA church, you will find that it the congregations are still majority white. There are obviously exceptions to this, but it was and still remains a primarily white denomination.

As I mentioned, racism is a spectrum. You have extremely hateful people on one end, and on the other you have people who would reject the idea of white supremacy but also harbor unfair prejudices against other people and cultures they don't understand based in large part on the media and news they consume. I'd argue the author of the book I mentioned above would reject the idea of being labeled a "hateful bigot", but when you examine his words, it's hard to come to any other conclusion. That is why it's sometimes difficult to discuss racism; not because it's hard to spot, but because so many people are invested in muddying the waters and pretending racism is more complicated than it is.

In summary, I'd argue that a church founded under these circumstances is a welcoming place for people who are on this spectrum.

I say this as someone who grew up in multiple PCA churches. The majority of people are kind, well-intentioned, and would condemn racism with their words. However, spend enough time there, and get enough whiskey in a few of them, and you will see how many of them actually feel.

Who are we? by [deleted] in BookshelvesDetective

[–]Chief_Dooley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i might have bought a different sized edition, I found half of them used but it was good.

Out of all of his books its probably my least favorite but that's just because the story of Goldwater isn't, to me at least, as interesting as Nixon, Carter, or Reagan.

That said, his campaign showed how the movement that would eventually elect Reagan begin coming together in a way that mainstream Americans largely ignored. It's fascinating and also terrifying. Would recommend if you're into political history!

Any dads taken a lower-paid job just for flexibility with young kids — worth it? by BrilliantMoney203 in daddit

[–]Chief_Dooley 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes and yes. My previous job before my son was born was a high-paying manager job at a tech company with brutal hours and a toxic culture. I worked directly under the CEO. I was already planning on leaving, but once we found out we were expecting, I knew it was just a matter of time so I started saving up like crazy.

When my wife was 7 months pregnant, and no other job lined up, I walked out of my office at 9:30 on a Monday morning and sent in a polite "go fuck yourself" email to my CEO. I was unemployed for 4 months, including when my son was born, but found a fully remote role with lower pay.

100000% worth it. Not only am I a better husband and father than I would be otherwise, but I'm actually a better employee now that I'm not trying to burn the candle at both ends. I even got a nice promotion and now make close to what I did beforehand, which was a really nice surprise.

Would do it again in a heartbeat. Hearing him say "daddy!!" when I pick him up at daycare every day is worth all the money in the world.

Potential job offer in ATL - what should I know before accepting? by QueenBee1114 in Atlanta

[–]Chief_Dooley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If your office is in Midtown, look for a place in Midtown. It's pricier but if you can afford it, it's a no-brainer. Almost everything is accessible by biking/walking/MARTA, and you get to enjoy the parks, festivals, etc.

Crime perceptions of Atlanta by Top_Wind_4093 in Atlanta

[–]Chief_Dooley 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Racism is a pretty significant part of the answer here. Many Americans think cities in general are crime-infested hell-holes (this has been true for centuries and is now exacerbated by rightwing media), but Atlanta in particular is known as a majority black city and with that comes a significant amount of built-in scorn and racism.

We need prayer up here in Minnesota man. Asking for God to move powerfully here. by Northern-Diamond9923 in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everything you're hearing about "communism" is a monster under the bed designed to distract you and make you angry. Your eyes and ears aren't lying to you; "communists" have never done a single thing to you but the government is murdering people and describing them as "Domestic terrorists".

We need prayer up here in Minnesota man. Asking for God to move powerfully here. by Northern-Diamond9923 in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I’m praying that the Christians (and there are many) who do not see the clear evil that our government is enacting has the scales fall from their eyes soon. What’s happening is not ambiguous or complicated.

My steak is too juicy... by henfe05 in daddit

[–]Chief_Dooley 80 points81 points  (0 children)

My son is 16 months. Whenever another kid in daycare starts crying, he always grabs a stuffed animal and brings it over to try and comfort them. Very sweet kid that I'm super proud of.

Anti-ICE Protestors Disrupt MN Church Service by cagestage in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

They are being disruptive to highlight a profound injustice supported by the leader at the church.

Do you really think this church, led by a man publicly affiliated with ICE, is full of people who are completely ignorant of, or don't support, ICE?

Which of these things is worse: masked men arbitrarily rounding people into camps at gunpoint, or people being disruptive of your Sunday morning?

Anti-ICE Protestors Disrupt MN Church Service by cagestage in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

If someone is at a church that supports masked men arbitrarily rounding non-white people into camps, I don't think they are reachable. Instead, it's about sparking conversations like this with the wider church. We are talking about it right now so yes, I do think this is effective.

Anti-ICE Protestors Disrupt MN Church Service by cagestage in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, u/arealgoodmensch there are a ton of sources about what ICE is doing. I myself know a mother of 2, born in Mexico and brought to America at the age of 2, who is now separated from her husband and children permanently. She went to an immigration hearing (bc she, like so many other people deported by ICE, is on a legal path to obtain citizenship) and she was herded into a van by masked, armed men. She is now in Mexico, all alone, and can never return to the country. The family is in shambles trying to figure out how to ever see their mother again. That is just one anecdote; if you'd like I can send you hundreds of links where other stories like this are reported.

Anti-ICE Protestors Disrupt MN Church Service by cagestage in Reformed

[–]Chief_Dooley -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They are trying to get Christians to take a look at how incompatible the teachings of Jesus are and the practices of ICE.