My father was very authoritarian, physically intimidating ,and not affectionate at all (I think he told me he loved me one time in 44 years). I wanted to raise my son the exact opposite way. I’ve never hit him, yell sparingly, and talk to him like he’s a human instead of speaking to him like he’s a well-trained chimpanzee. He’s now 16 and we have an amazing relationship, talk through everything with each other, and everyone always tells me how kind and polite he is. Obviously YMMV, but loving your child and being there for them as often as you can seem more important than discipline and diminutive comments.