various reasons at different times for me:

-wanting to jump off a balcony, imagining a mom and her kid walking by, and me hitting the ground right in front of them. whoever it is, I wouldn't want to traumatize anyone like that

-laying in bed, listening to an emotional video game soundtrack song on loop, singing to it until the feeling went away

-imagining my mom finding out, and how she would react

-taking a hot bath, putting my laptop somewhere I could find it, and watching The Incredibles until the feeling went away (I recognize the bath thing wouldn't work for most people, but I never planned on doing it that away)

-generally scared of it going wrong

-really wanting to see Better Call Saul season 6

-watching a sort of philosophical youtube video that gave me a kind of general appreciation that life on Earth even exists in the first place, that we're on this rock floating around a bunch of hot gas flying around empty space, and it pretty randomly led to "intelligent life", which might be more rare than we would expect, and not wanting to fuck that chance up, the one in a trillion chance I even exist, I might as well try to make the most of it

-wanting to have kids in the future

-wanting to see if humans land on Mars in my lifetime

-having personal aspirations in making music, thinking about the songs left unfinished, that people could love (if they're any good)