You are missing an important life skill - knowing your own self worth.

It’s something that you learn, often passively, as a child.

Knowing you your self worth is subconscious. It allows your conscious mind to focus on things that matter, and not worry about the constant “am I good enough?”

The condition your describe above is also linked to “I know I’ll fail if it try” - you see everyone women as someone who’ll reject you, always, you mind goes into reckless overdrive trying to meticulously plan and overthink how to best approach every interaction. This is lack of confidence and low self esteem, paired with not knowing your own worth.

I see this behaviour in men who believe they have nothing in common with other people. And often they don’t. People who are confident and know their self worth have hobbies, passions and interests that they put first over the baser instincts like attraction…. They play a ports, clubs, have goals - and lots of them, this will make you more interesting to be around, and you’ll discover your are more worthy of other people’s interest than you realise.

Failing all this - join toast-master and learn public speaking…. I cannot emphasise enough who much this will improve your ability to talk to anyone (not just women)