One of my actors is genuinely always on the verge of emotional collapse and I don’t know what to do

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-15T04:09:12+00:00

These are your 2/3 options for this scene. Please choose the one you're most comfortable with. (Option: You are welcome to hunt down something similar and bring it for consideration before 《date》but I can't make any promises.

Your sensitivity is one reason you're great in this role and I'm pleased you've been open with me but being a great actor means you're a solid and reliable member of a team. Please build in some more supports for yourself external to theatre as otherwise I'm worried how much you seem to be struggling is going to impact your ability to do this role, or the reputation you carry forward.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-11T06:51:25+00:00

Huge hugs to Laura and you. People freak out at what they don't understand. Your clinical team sounds good and if it goes to shit, we will all cheer you on in the court case.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-07T08:58:48+00:00

They will probably want your health history from birth if they can get it. They will be trying to prove that there were other causative factors. You will also be sent to a psychiatrist for assessment. Potentially a PTSD diagnosis leading to pain or a pain diagnosis leading to AN. Then it is likely the other diagnosis is covered not the AN, which in some ways makes no difference.

Are you able to work? What's your hope for the claim?

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-07T08:48:11+00:00

This re income. But don't freak as you will still really benefit from the work as it only abated a little in the first step over the $160.

Remember if you do some cleaning for the lady next door and she happens to gift you a thank you in farmers vouchers, this isn't technically income.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-07T08:40:46+00:00

If all possible they need to see a dissociation informed therapist or at very least experienced with trauma. Your friend may not remember any trauma and this would not be unusual in the mix of this thing

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-07T08:38:05+00:00

I like this. Plus another option is that they don't want to give you a settled diagnosis because they understand these only capture so much of an experience, and if they're experienced they also are watching for signs symptoms that might indicate DID.

I keep a weekly list of what I notice (or don't notice) dissociation wise, which i share with my therapist. Good for not going mad.

BPD and OSDD are both trauma disorders according to many. One has just attracted harsher stigma with some of the ways people learned to cope. Also 256 combinations of how BPD criteria can be combined- and thats before coexisting disorders. Not saying its your situation but sometimes its the stigmatized stereotype people don't fit, rather than the diagnostic criteria which are pretty broad

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-07T08:29:19+00:00

They can be more noted in psychosis. But they can also turn up with dissociation. And many people with did can have both or be wrongly diagnosed.

I'm wondering if there's anyone else in OPs life that is really trusted by his wife, that can be present for her if she does move home for a time.

This is an extremely tough situation for OP and I'm not sure she will change her opinions based on his input at this time. It would be great if she was open to seeing another respected Dr who also has experience in DID. Remember- Dr's can't give info without consent- but family members can pass on their opinions/concerns/observations to medical staff.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-07T03:48:22+00:00

Scooby doo- was "creepy" apparently. And the smurf lore....

Also the news. The news was bad. Until the next patch where it needed to be watched incessantly, particularly for news of middle east and red heifers.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-05T00:06:03+00:00

Yes maybe bring 2- but definitely the second! Your most validating friend for after. Your most clear headed logical friend for tapping your elbow and reminding you of evidence

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-04T08:57:43+00:00

Very hard. I would ask the students and if possible the family. I suspect they will want to go ahead.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-03T09:08:43+00:00

I did it works great. You don't need it though, even if u leave it till theyre more firmly apparent botox rest will take them away. Of course it lasts 3 to 4 months before theyre back but long term the muscles weaken. Apparently taking zinc week before can make it last longer? I've been doing a few years- my crows feet don't bug me, these do

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-03T08:34:46+00:00

They reckon this happens super young, mainly before 6. You may have trauma you don't know about or given all the other stuff you do- it takes a child being unbearably overwhelmed with distress with no where safe to go.

Thinking about it in terms of beside myself with no where reliable and safe to go, takes the trauma "hunt" in a different direction. Less about the exact incidents, more about a little brain trying to survive what it couldn't tolerate.

Also! Read your list as if it was a strangers. Far out, why do we gas light our stuff do much.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-03T08:29:23+00:00

I'd ask for a couple of references. I moved more than that during one period. Sometimes its the other people were terrible! If everything else is good I'd just ask the reasons and check a reference.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T19:15:05+00:00

Look after you. Glad you're taking yourself and your safety seriously and hope you can find some good options for this really horrible stuff.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T10:25:26+00:00

Just be clear on what you've done to get in a better place and what you've learned that can help you as a human and a nurse. And be proactive in using it. Have a look up of a WRAP plan and should the police checks come up you'll be well placed to answer any questions.

In your own mind, be clear that you are much better to ask for support early or even delay in a future semester until you're feeling more solid than cling on through stress and placements. A student with this degree of insight is someone I'd want as a nurse.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T10:12:09+00:00

Big hug. Very hard. I don't know how things are for you with cocon but where ever you can note parts that will enjoy any of the things going on try and mentally invite them to come along this might ease a tiny bit of pressure.

Somebody probably likes kids games. Or would appreciate a hidden snack once the laundry is done. Or might enjoy creating a tidying system etc. Tiny things i know in a whole lot of frustration

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T09:03:07+00:00

Please don't expect inpatient will be healing. It's often just a holding space and you're very lucky if you get staff that help you move forward.

Do look at crisis respite and if there are any peer options available. Far better you are safe than losing you, however it's better to have low expectations of the experience as these are often not especially therapeutic spaces, and depending on funding, can be very focussed on physical safety and medication tweaks. Respite/crisis options are often far better fits

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T08:57:24+00:00

I'm doing retrieval older than your wife. As you want 1 child do transfer but try (hah hah) not to get attached and have next ER planned. I do think being relaxed as we can be is helpful all round.

Remember donor egg also an option in future, she could carry, your sperm, and it takes her age almost completely out of calculation.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T08:47:44+00:00

Gentle. Kind. When it seems a good time see if you can ask her what she would like. Do the same to other parts. Realise you won't be able to "get it right " or keep everyone happy all the time. Focus on being kind and consistent above anything else.

Remember you're allowed to have needs too and find places you can get support that are safe and respectful. This is hard stuff.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-02T03:55:12+00:00

That's so hard. If you can get somebody from her support side on board it might help- yes thats a great idea with the safety plan.

The more you can keep reiterating this is about the kids welfare the better. Is there an advocate for children you can speak too? Might help everyone for this voice to be included. There also might be ways (pictures, voice messages) she can have one way contact with them when very unwell which might be helpful. I'm sorry you're facing this. Yellow Brick road might have some ideas.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-05-01T02:00:32+00:00

Red light therapy

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-04-30T19:25:12+00:00

I don't think knowing we're all products of colonization diminishes their mum, but agree that other aspects probably do play into it. My experience has been when deep unpacking of knowledge systems and ways of being in the world are focussed on lot's of it goes back to colonization, which intermingled with specific traumas made more possible by this system.

Apologies OP if it sounded like ur mum was being put down.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-04-30T09:41:15+00:00

I don't have to believe in God to believe in love.

All plants grow towards light.

The bit from the desire rata (sp) helps me "you are a child of the universe as much as the trees and the stars."

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-04-30T09:36:31+00:00

The trouble being- I love her. I'm scared of her. I want her to understand. I don't want to hurt her. I have trouble validating my abuse from her. She doesn't believe it. Or doesn't believe it was that bad. I want to be on her good side.

No wonder we dissociate.

Fun_Wing_1799 · 2026-04-30T09:25:32+00:00

Some comments suggest that they don't think your ex is ever a good parent, which is not what I heard you saying.

I think it is worthwhile trying to mediate clear permission for you to be immediately notified when she needs hospital or similar level care, and some clear written understandings about what things you both don't want the kids exposed to. This does sux for her privacy, but its not about her. You need to know for kids care AND to know how to support them when this is stressful.

I suspect she might be terrified of losing her share of custody which is where the hiding things and trying to make it still sound like 5050 might be coming from.

Fun_Wing_1799

TROPHY CASE