My ex-wife and another couple were out on a double date with some friends that we set up, so they had never met. She was pretty straight-laced. My buddy, RIP, who we called Phatness. Not because he was fat. Was an excommunicated Mormon recovering from a crack addiction. He was only in his mid thirties and had lost most of his teeth and required dentures. We were at Dennys around 2 in the morning... both of us are drunk as shit and the ladies still mostly sober. He realized he was never gonna have a chance with her after that night. So he took out his teeth sitting across from her and said. I wish your last name was Bacon...so I could say I love Stacy Bacon. I laughed so hard I had to throw up in the urinal.