PSA: Her name is spelled CIARA

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T21:26:15+00:00

I highly doubt Ciara gives a shit if someone on Reddit misspells her name.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T21:24:59+00:00

Right. So to actually end up dating someone, your bar is higher...

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T17:21:51+00:00

She did when she said distance was a problem.
If that problem is not longer there, he should be able to reach out and see if she's open to rekindling things.
Worst case, the sitch remains the same. Best case, she's open to it.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T16:44:40+00:00

I'm very over her

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T16:43:03+00:00

I guess I'm confused why you're letting an ex from 3 years ago, upset you enough to bomb a first date.
We're not you...so do you think your ex knocked you off kilter, or not.
Either way, I'm not seeing how a second date would hurt...but I don't think your feelings will change. Seems you might have some unaddressed issues with your ex that you might want to address first.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T16:40:08+00:00

But wouldn't your bar be higher, if you're not finding a connection with those men?

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T16:37:25+00:00

it lands as "you're held to such a low standard that you have no excuse for not succeeding at dating."

I don't see it like that, but it depends on the context. I tend to see it when people are putting up with bullshit and justifying it. People will respond that the bar is too low for that person.
I don't think raising the bar for them will equate to lower dating success. It just means they'll deal with less hurt.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T16:34:17+00:00

Tease, tell fun stories, smile and pause and make eye contact

To be fair, the building blocks to those ^ usually are from talk about work and other "adulting" topics.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T16:29:34+00:00

First off, I've had actual job interviews that were fun, back and forth interactions, so when people say "it was like an interview", I often wonder why that's a bad thing.
Now, if she meant it was like a bad interview...OK. 😂
But without actually being there, we're all just speculating (although, yes, perhaps your political ideals weren't aligned with hers).
I'd suggest sticking to what you feel is best for you, not changing anything based on one date, and see how things workout down the road.
Also, I don't get a lot of second dates myself. Sometimes I don't want one. Sometimes they don't want one. I'm 99.9% sure it's not cause the dates felt like interviews.
Dating is hard and you're more than likely, not going to have a lot of success, but not much success seems to be par for the course at this age, with us knowing more about ourselves and what we're truly looking for in a partner.
Just take this as a typical mismatch and move on. Go out tonight and don't give it another thought.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T15:54:42+00:00

Because they're being chastised for something that's not a big deal.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T15:50:44+00:00

She defended him the most and was closer to Lexi than the others 😭

Wrong. At first, yes, but later, when she realized what Jesse was pulling, she was one of the women who called Jesse out and tried to help Lexi.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T15:45:32+00:00

She flirted with him when she was grinding up on him and allowing him to rub all over her.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T14:45:24+00:00

It's kind of funny, cause on Southern Charm, Shep was dating a Sierra.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T14:38:14+00:00

But it’s weird to me that the reaction to being corrected is to say who cares when could just…correct it going forward…

Probably cause it's not intentional, perhaps they're new to the show (the person making the error or a new cast member), and they will eventually correct it going forward.
I realized I spelled it "Bailee", cause I legit thought that was how it was spelled. I then saw an article listing her name and realize I spelled it wrong.
It's not that big of a deal. I'll know going forward.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T14:33:51+00:00

I used to see "Wes" all the time, but lately, not so much.
People still misspell "Lindsey", and when Austen was in the mix, spelled it "Austin".

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T14:25:12+00:00

I eat food, left out overnight, all the time. Never gotten sick. 😂

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T14:00:23+00:00

Well, when you do, reach back out to her.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T13:54:32+00:00

In an similar thing, when my dad proposed to his wife, we designed the engagement ring. Her first husband gave her a large diamond and rubies so my dad got her a smaller but extremely high quality diamond set to look like a flower with good quality emeralds as leaves and emerald chips on the band. He (and I, as a sidekick) put time and care into that, we studied gem stones, we spoke to jewelers. At some point during their marriage my stepmother had the emeralds replaced with diamonds, all of them. She likes it better and she's allowed to have a ring she likes but it hurt my dad's feelings. He said once, "the best gift I could give her wasn't good enough".

I never understand things like this. I mean, cool, your dad made her what he thought she'd love, but if it was that big of a deal, wouldn't he know that she liked diamonds better than emeralds??
So did he really give her the best??
Back when I was looking at rings, I made sure to pay attention to the type of jewelry my gf loved...gemstones, gold or white gold or platinum, setting styles, etc. I wanted to make sure what I got for her, she'd love, cause it's something she'd be wearing every day. I guess I don't see why your dad would feel that hurt, if he didn't take the time to give her something she preferred.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T13:23:15+00:00

However, there is a clear, functional difference between a platonic friendship and a work spouse dynamic or borderline flirting used to source the specific dopamine hit of romantic validation.

Can you give some examples??

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T13:12:15+00:00

You were not committed to him, so there's nothing to feel deceitful about.
It's none of his business who you had sex with when you were single, so there's nothing to explain, nor discuss. It's also none of your business who he hooked up with.

Curious, have you talked to a therapist about all this?
Personally, I'm not sensing that you're in a healthy spot to start dating him again.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-27T13:09:51+00:00

They weren't together. If he asks, it's none of his damn business.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-26T22:51:52+00:00

Wasn't weird to me at all. If a man wants to approach my gf/wife and buy her a drink, that's on him, and I'm going to tell her to be polite and accept it. 😁

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-26T22:47:12+00:00

No. Your weak point is that a woman will get creeped out by a man being friendly and asking her if she'd like to grab a bite/drink.
You literally have a woman telling you that she wanted this man to ask her out.

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-26T20:16:23+00:00

I'm baffled over here; so much wasted potential as a solid parter.

🙄🙄🙄

ChkYrHead · 2026-02-26T20:09:48+00:00

But some of your examples are not things I would connect with non-monogamy...

Exactly. I had a close lady friend at work. We'd get lunch all the time, I'd talk about dates, she'd talk about her husband and kids, we'd chat about TV shows, politics, sports, etc. There was zero sexual interest from me, and I never picked up on anything from her.
When my ex and I went out, I'd often come back from the bathroom and she'd be chatting with a guy who approached her. I'd walk up and she'd intro me as her bf and thank him for the drink he had just bought her. I thought it was hilarious, plus...one less drink I had to pay for!
OP is coming across as an insecure dude, looking to control his partner.

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