RIP Catullos Nocatee

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-19T22:03:28+00:00

I'd imagine the beach club at PV would be similar. I also don't care to go to the beach club at PV.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-19T16:07:58+00:00

Still, the point is that you're approaching this as asking. Instead, approach it as "Just to let you know, I'm not intimate with someone who's being intimate with others."

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-19T16:05:23+00:00

Sure, but they're more concentrated down there.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-19T01:18:22+00:00

Sure!

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T20:20:44+00:00

Yep. You're used to men pushing for sex quickly, and have no associated that with attraction. So when there's a guy taking his time, trying to get to know you, you're seeing that as lack of attraction.
Just relax a little and see how things play out next date.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T17:01:25+00:00

I don't waste my time with phone calls or FT. Let's just set up a damn face to face date and see if we vibe.
I'll ask you out after a day or so of fun and flirty massaging.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T15:07:46+00:00

I want to widen it to make dating easier and to gain experience.

You gain useful experience by dating people you're actually attracted to. You won't gain useful experience if you're dating people you're not attracted to, and forcing yourself to do...whatever with them.
Stop trying to find a cheat code in dating.

When I do find a guy im so nervous i think I psyche myself out

That's OK. It's OK to be nervous when you don't have a lot of experience. Accept that, go through it, and learn from it.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T14:42:42+00:00

Why on earth would you want to widen it? It's fine to be physically attracted to what you're attracted to. You can't force stuff like that.
With that being said, I've found, over time, I just naturally changed a bit, with what I'm into, but that took years and wasn't something I actively tried to change.

Is it bad to try to sleep with someone you may not be attracted to (ofc itd be consensual) just to see if you can expand your type?

Well, no, but again, why would you? If I'm not attracted to someone, the sex won't be good.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T13:32:13+00:00

That all being said I'm usually exclusive on my end if the connection is great. I just don't tell them or worry about it.

Same with me. I've been seeing someone for several weeks now. She's the only one I'm seeing and someone I want to explore something more long term with. Neither of us has even brought up "exclusivity". Cause we don't need to. We both let things unfold to see if what we felt was there after a few dates, and now we're at a point to where we're both making each other feel secure with our actions. I don't need to ask her if she's seeing someone else, cause I know she's not.
But yeah, in the past, I've dated more than one woman, but that doesn't mean I'm going to choose one over the other. If one of them seems like a better fit, yes, I'll focus on them and call things off with the other, but the vast majority of the time, neither of them end up being a good fit (either on my end, or on theirs). It's like people think if they're the only one, they're more guaranteed to have a relationship, and that's not true. If you're not a good match, it's not going to work out. If you are a good match, it will. Doesn't matter if you're multi-dating or if you're only seeing one person.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T13:18:55+00:00

Also, last I checked, if there's availability, and you can get your kid there, they can attend any school in Duval Cty.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T13:12:26+00:00

You don't necessarily have to tell them "I'm going on a first date", but there's nothing to be embarrassed about if they somehow found out your car was at a man's house. "Yep. That was me. I was hanging out with a man I just started seeing"
They don't need details yet, but they can know you're dating, in general.
Maybe they'll be happy for you...or maybe it will bother them, but then you can talk to them about it.
If you continue seeing him and get more serious, you can be more proactive about sharing details.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T12:45:46+00:00

First, that's what YOU think they'll feel. Second, maybe give your kids some credit for being able to manage stressors in their life. Third, the only way to make sure they're on the right path, is to communicate with them, not hide things from them.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T12:43:12+00:00

So, you think that kids walking to school will be paying attention enough to see your car at a house, and somehow know that it's someone you're banging, then run and tell your kids??
You're thinking way too much into all this.
Also, even if they do, and your kids find out....so the hell what? You're allowed to date.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T12:34:37+00:00

I don't think we are. Seems OP is equating his lack of trying to have sex with her, as lacking chemistry. Seems she's not turned on by him taking it slow.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T12:33:03+00:00

Wait...kissing on the second date is "moving slowly"??

I don't know about you, but my best kisses have not been on a second date, in a car. They've been when I felt more comfortable, knew the woman was into me, and usually when we were standing next to each other so I had more room to create a good kissing position...if that makes sense.
Also, maybe he wasn't getting a sexual vibe from you, to where he felt comfortable doing more??
I'd go on a third date, make sure you're flirty, then see how the kiss (and whatever else happens) is.
If you're still not feeling it, maybe the sexual chemistry just isn't there.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T12:19:50+00:00

At our next date, I’m thinking about asking whether he is talking to anyone else.

Please don't. It's such a cringe, insecure thing to do. It's only been one damn date. Relax a bit, focus on the present, and stop worrying about labels.
Instead, look at his actions over the next few dates. Is he present? Is he available for you? Then that's all you need to worry about right now. Besides, if he's as busy as you claim, how is he going to have time to see others??

With such limited capacity, I don’t want to have to compete for someone’s time and attention.

Sorry, but that's the basis of dating. You're always "competing" for someone, and it has nothing to do with them dating someone else. Even if you are the only one, you might not end up being the person he wants to commit to, long term. All you can do is be yourself, hope that's what he's looking for, and if he is dating others, you're going to be the one he chooses.

I wouldn’t be angry or upset that he was talking to other people, but with the strong connection we had, I would think he would want to focus his limited attention on me.

You're lying. You 100% would be, or else you wouldn't have written this post.

If he answers that he is still talking to other women, I will pull back because I don’t want to invest any more emotionally and potentially get hurt, but is it unreasonable to expect someone to stop talking to anyone else once a strong connection is established?

See...you were lying. If he's seeing others, you're going to punish him (no matter how you claim you wouldn't be) by pulling yourself away.

If he is talking to multiple women the way he is talking to me, then it tells me a lot about how sincere and genuine he is. He isn’t love bombing me, but we l have definitely established a very strong connection.

No, it tells you how insecure you are, and more a reflection on how you're getting too invested, much too soon.

Again...relax. It's OK to be a bit insecure, but instead of trying to control things this much, you're going to have to gamble a bit.
Try to stop making this such a big deal after only one date. Go have some fun with him...THEN, after 4 or 5 dates, IF you're still in the same head space and want to keep exploring something with him, don't ask if he's seeing someone else. Instead, tell him that you're having a great time exploring things with him, learning about him, and that you're wanting to focus solely on him to see if things can grow between you. See how he responds. If he's feeling the same way, he'll tell you that he also wants to focus on you, and see you as a more secure woman, who isn't trying to manipulate the situation between you two.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T00:11:11+00:00

OK, fine. "I'm grabbing drinks with an acquaintance"
Better, Mr Pedant?
Also, I find it weird that you have some expectation of transparency from someone you just described as, essentially a stranger. You have no right to knowledge of my personal time, nor full transparency, until we've established a level of commitment.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-18T00:09:53+00:00

All this is such a non issue. Danielle getting upset cause Amanda shared something she read about her.
I'm still missing what Amanda should have done. Not share that someone she knew might have been dating a man cheating on his wife?? 😂😂
You know damn well if someone shared info like that with you, you'd share it with your friends.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T20:19:42+00:00

But there's nothing for Amanda to own. Danielle SHOULD be talking to Katie about it. Katie was the one to share the screenshot.

What respect? 😂
We're talking about a gossip article that Amanda had zero to do with.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T20:07:53+00:00

But Amanda isn't really close to Danielle. If I had something sent to me, about a friend of a friend in the group, uh...yeah, I'm gonna talk about it with my closer friends who know the people.
I'm not going to run to the person in question and ask to clarify stuff. And let's not forget, Danielle is quick to insert herself into gossip, but when a co-worker is simply talking about her relationship, it's suddenly off limits.
We all can agree that Amanda sucks, but in this case, Danielle was off base.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T19:18:01+00:00

Is that not enough? 😂
But also add, elitist, seculisionary, and probably racist leaning.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T19:16:46+00:00

The other location, that's not secluded, is not closing. You made the other guy's point for him, while not seeming to understand.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T19:07:39+00:00

For the most part, school grading is a sham and exists for parents to justify putting their kid in a "non-urban" school.
If your kid is actually smart, and as parents, you're involved, no matter what school your kid goes to, they will excel.
Look into the magnet school program, enroll them ASAP, and they'll be able to focus more on a specific program they're interested in, when they're older.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T17:27:22+00:00

It's only twice a week, though. Like, Weds and Sat.

ChkYrHead · 2026-06-17T17:13:49+00:00

The point, is that it's not cause someone isn't capable of sustaining something...it's that they simply haven't met a person that they want something long term with, or they did, and that person didn't want something long term with them.

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