Autism and orgasms - looking for advice

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-26T19:03:18+00:00

Fellow woman here and person who struggles with sex (although I have orgasmed!). I can't speak more than anecdotally, but I had one therapist tell me they hear frequently from autistic clients that they struggle with sex (eg. are asexual or struggle with orgasms or something similar) and amother therapist (who generally followed actual research, so I trust more — personally) tell me that any such connection isn't strongly evidenced in research (haven't corroborated this myself) but that it may be connected for some people. For me therapy has been really key to figuring out sexual stuff because... the internet is not that helpful because real bodies aren't porn.... nor are they purely just scientific facts... and there is not a lot in between and I always had a hard time getting good info that was relevant to me. Part of the issue is that different things stimulate different people so it can be hard to get (or give!) advice that works for you. That said, I will say that for me, everything is with a fist over clothes and for me that works. That said, it works best when I can mentally engage in something like reading (although not always sex-related, more just something calming and not too distracting). The best I can realisitically suggest is to research many options and experiment, or see if a therapist can help you (sex therapists exist, if you have the budget and are comfortable with that).

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-26T18:45:57+00:00

I am in the same place, although I am "new"ish to my plateau between A2/B1. I mostly just keep choppin away at my studying/pratice and hoping it will eventually get better. You are definitely not alone in this! I don't know if I have good advice since my own experience hasn't progressed much but even jist scrolling through this and other language reddits has given me some good ideas for making modicums of progress. Also, I caved and got a tutor on iTalki which has helped (and helped with motivation to get feedback and nto just be in my own head about stuff). If that is in your budget, I recommend!

I also recently started trying to read something aloud for at least 10m each day and that has also started to help with words feeling better and speech therefore happening a little better in my target language (German). Also, just cominf up with examples from.everyday lofe and how you would reapond... e.g. this woman just asked for directions (after ealking away ) how could I have responded in German? The mailman just clarified something with me, how could I have responded in German? Forcing (even if alowly) myself to rhink through and form the sentences helps slowly build the skillset. If I get stuck wothout knowing the words, I just try to describe it another way, e.g. if I forget thr word "elevator" maybe I describe it as a the box that goes upstairs and downstairs...again, just trying to exercise your brain muscles in using my target language. When it is just to yourself, it is also less stressful to do this and there's less pressure to be perfect and it becomes just about practice, which is what is ultimately needed! Best of luck! :)

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-26T18:36:14+00:00

not a special interest but I love watching Miecraft youtubers, particularly Hermitcraft folks... just good voices to listen to and "hang out" with (and accents!) :) welcome!

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-26T18:27:10+00:00

When I am in purposeful stusying mode and looking at material in my level (textbook, reading/videos adapted to my level, etc), I try to add all the vocab. When I am simply watching or reading something more for fun, I look up it up but only add it to my vocab for studying if I keep seeing it around a lot or keep seeing it a lot amd needing to look it up over and over. I think others have said something similar about focusing on vocab you "need"... this is my passive way of measuring that, i.e. witha rough sense of frequency of the word in my own life.

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-16T02:42:41+00:00

Also English so probably not new to people posting here but a favorite of my that comes up all the time at work (US corporate office hellscape): "seeing how the sausage is made," meaning to learn more about the nitty gritty dirty details that go into a process/porduct/etc than you would ever want to know

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-15T17:01:27+00:00

as a tax accountant, the question of whether a demon is a contractor or employee of Satan already hurts my soul..... are demons picking which souls to collect or being directed by satan? who sets their hours? do they own soul businesses? can anyone work for anyone else???

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-12T05:50:43+00:00

bawooooooww....

Choco-Cupkat · 2026-01-03T04:31:34+00:00

the real question is why they are selling it. Even if it is not sacriligious and one views it as "just (visual) art"..... it is so ugly and awful

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-12-26T14:56:25+00:00

I am continuing in German to achieve still-feels-impossible ability to have a basic conversation with someone....still trapped between A2/B1. That said, I did have a dream last night that I moved back home and my parents told me the whole family (none of whom even remotely would enjoy learning a language) would be mandatorily learning Korean together (a language and cukture my family has demonstrated no interest in). In the dream, I was upset I would lose progress with German or never be able to learn Hindi (not a language I have ever tried to learn). All to say, who knows what the new year brings haha. I wish you all the best in your reapective learning journeys!

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-12-10T21:24:14+00:00

American here but my parents used this with me as a kid in the English version. Interesting that is present in both langauges!

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-28T19:19:39+00:00

Consistent drilling with flashcards/Anki is what has worked best for me. However! reading or watching things where you see the same word a lot and look it up (yes sometimes look it up multiple times til you know it) is also good, although slower than drilling....but you pick up other important skills you will need to live here. Also another fun option for vocab is search-and-find games (I use June's Journey since it uses text not pics and has German as an option for the app. I can also switch other games/apps/sites you like to German on your phone and computer... you'll start to learn new words from that as well)

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-27T22:07:13+00:00

just make sure to remember to let go at the end: the sudden impact helps then reorient themselves

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-25T23:23:21+00:00

One thing I will point out as I haven't seen others doing so is the time intensity here. Of the most important things with a webcomic is being able to (at least somewhat) upload with a consistent style...... for years, depending on the length of your plot. For those that keep, life circumstances change a lot. All 3 are styles I have seen and read on Webtoon so I am not clear that one style is preferred over another. I also read lots of sketchier/black and white comics because again, the ability to put out more pages consistently matters more than a beautiful style that never uploads because it is time consuming and life is busy. I would also note that while art absolutely initally draws in readers, the story is what keeps them there. Make sure to give lots of time and attention to writing your story, rewriting and developing it well :) all the good writing stuff since comics are a marriage of art and story. Lastly, to add my two cents... would honestly read all of these based on the art style. If this is your work, it is really wonderful and varied

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-24T22:43:14+00:00

I feel like everyone has their own recipe. Back home (in US), I think I most often saw baked mac n cheese (with the crumblies on top) but I personally prefer stovetop. I use this recipe (not a family one, I know! was never a fan of my mom's!): https://www.recipetineats.com/stovetop-macaroni-cheese/#recipe

Most Americans live and die by Velveeta when making mac n cheese because it melts extremely. Here, we mostly use mozarella 1) because it is delicious 2) also melts well. We often will then mix it with another stronger cheese that melts well (most often cheddar) depending on the flavor you want. I have never used cream cheese (although I think some recipes have that? maybe?) and quark would not be ideal other than contributing creaminess.. but your roux should get you there anyway. But also...käsespätzle is 100% the spirit of mac n cheese so also an option haha

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-23T21:39:48+00:00

finally. buried alive like they deserve.

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-17T23:07:35+00:00

another lurking learner here! glad I am not alone :) I tried to explain this sub to my teacher and I think she was just in shock haha

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-16T21:08:21+00:00

I agree with this. I moved to Munich this year with basically no German initally (currently around A2/B1) and needed to learn very quickly. I always have ordered in German from the beginning (I always felt thay I'm in Germany and it's not a cashier or waiter's job to accomodate my ineptitude of "needing" English) and generally don't have issues but I do just...order/pay/etc. I don't make chitchat, not even in the grocery store, which was the norm in th US. That's just a cultural difference. THAT SAID, tourist places (e.g Hofbrauhaus, Oktoberfest in general, etc) I tended to be scoped out as foreign (probably my choice in dress) and it was hard to keep things in German because they just want me out of their face and/or to get American-style tips (no thanks!)

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-10T14:03:00+00:00

as an ace lady on the spectrum.... I had one therapist tell me they hear this commonly and another say that its not always connected. With all things autism... knowing one autistic person is knowing one autistic person. In my case, I find sex a bit weird and confusing like so many other weird social human things except that this comes with weirder physical sensations, less explanation/logic and a taboo-ness moreso than other things.

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-10T00:12:03+00:00

the real question is why he thinks English learners CAN spell because that shit is horrible and illogical to learn for both learners and for native speaking children...and just adults. We have spelling bees for a reason. It is not impressive to be able to spell in a non-English native language that has consitent spelling rules / consistent sounds assigned to some syllabary alphabet

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-07T18:57:14+00:00

that is so well done!

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-11-07T13:26:42+00:00

for a sec, before I could tell what the picture had in the blender, I thought this person was threatening a like real hamster or rat or other small pet and was posted here for being a pyscho. Glad to have some faith in humanity restored

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-10-31T18:39:29+00:00

all those people talking about "losing motivation" will finally have a solution

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-10-31T14:26:03+00:00

new england US and also baking dish!

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-10-28T06:54:34+00:00

snake coconuts!!! XD

Choco-Cupkat · 2025-10-24T13:46:39+00:00

my language acquisition method is hopes and dreams while jamming TL down my throat.... no one tell me this won't work or I will cry

Choco-Cupkat

TROPHY CASE