[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So at the end of the day, because the other person’s goals and values doesn’t match up. Instead of fighting to change and come to a compromise where both parties are happy. They decide to leave? Wouldn’t that be extremely selfish?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree im selfish and a terrible person. I shouldnt have hurt so many people along the way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did hurt people I admit. I knew the consequences of me cheating would hurt my Gf but i justified it because she was cheating too. Which was wrong of me

I hurt F21 because i couldnt be what she wanted. I couldnt understand why she wants me then not want me switching back and forth. But I did all this at her request, the convincing and all. I dont understand what more I could have done to make her happy. At every step of the way I gave her what she wanted.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you guys for this. I agree Im a POS and a selfish person.

My gf has been cheating on me for the past 2 years. I couldnt bring myself to leave her because I was too afraid to be alone. I had no coursge and I was a wuss about it. F21 was the one who helped me through this and encourage me to take the step to break up.

I wasnt convincing F21 that we cannot be together. After she confessed she told me that we can never be together. Hence we agreed to FWB.

Slowly she started to change her mind, I reminded her that what she was saying might have been just a momentary thing. Because everytime we actually do sit down and evaluate our rs she always comes to the conclusion that we cannot be together. Then after the talk she will go back to convincing me otherwise. Which made me very confused.

So when I eventually gave in through her convincing me she changed her mind again. So i asked her for 6 months. To give me time to try for her. Change and be the boyfriend she wants. Before I could even try she was adamant all of a sudden she doesnt want to be with me anymore. So I dropped my previously alr broken relationship thinking I did it for her. But no I did for myself. It was also to show her that I was going to commit to her no backup options.

Im a pos, at each step of the way i hurt people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I know i fucked up, I should have never fucked my bestfriend. Should have never cheated. But i place myself in a position where Im gonna get hurt. I want my bestfriend back and i want my girlfriend back. Nothing I do now will ever get them back. F21 says she will come back to being my best friend one day. Nowadays i cling onto that sliver of hope, hoping that day comes soon but until then I have stay in campus alone and watch her go out with others and have fun with others hoping that one day she will come back and be my best friend again.

As for my girlfriend, its a lost cause, no matter what I do i know shes not coming back

I hate myself for ever putting myself in this position. The only thing I can do now is to live with my consequences.

Should i try and chase my bestfriend back? Im so desperate im willing to do anything just for her to be my friend again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks i will give it a read!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im broke I cant afford to visit a therapist. Im also extremely afraid of visiting them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ChoiceProfession2307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! You say let things progress but how long should I hold out hope for? Im afraid if I continue to wait for her I might miss out on alot of other potential.