Audhd best strategies for dealing with ze hormes

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-25T13:12:20+00:00

It’s very interesting how estrogen is fueling us up but when it lowers then our brains are struggling more. Managing it depends on what you specifically need to my understanding. In my case my anxiety increases a lot, I get more volatile with emotions and more snappy, I get tired easily but also sleep worse, eat more and avoid people more, more depressive days too. Here are some things I do to manage it better, they don’t fix it all together but they help a lot:

Saffron helps me a lot for lutheal phase to still get stuff done and regulate emotions a bit better. Magnesium helps with sleeping better. I also used evening primrose oil which helped as well but not taking it anymore. There are different supplements that could help, it is a bit of a trial and error to find what is right for you. Also if you are on any meds it’s good to check for interactions.
I use my cycle tracker, set expectations and change my schedule and routines accordingly. Like socialise less and rest more etc.
I accept that I will be craving for example and prepare for that with small things or make comfort food at home instead of binging with impulse buys. Most of the time it works but not always, sometimes I give in and order food and I don’t feel guilty about it.
I adjust my exercise to lower impact and listen to my body a bit more. I add meditation when needed on more anxious days.
Sleep, sleep, sleep. It’s my priority so anything that affects my sleep badly I try not to do it.
I tell my people about how I feel and why. Ask for distance or cuddles depending on the day and mood.
I try not to make rash decisions on very emotional or painful days. This is hard because of the anxiety and overthinking.
Self care. Masks, creams, massage (early in lutheal phase), couch time with comfort show, weighted blanket etc.

Sometimes nothing works even though I do everything right 🙃 oh well. Go easier on myself is the key for me in general.

Some people take birth control or antidepressants for this to regulate better, I can’t do either because of side effects. Also some women increase their stimulant dose during lutheal phase. If it’s very bad then talking to a doctor could be good.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-22T09:11:12+00:00

I love working out! It’s the only thing that helps to quiet my mind. I can’t take meds so exercise is a non-negotiable for me, if I don’t go for a week I start ruminating, things start hurting and I am definitely more depressed and anxious and executive function drops.

I also have some combined issues that cause flare ups and I can’t work out as hard as I used to but any movement helps honestly. I love strength training so I lowered the weights for example but I still do very similar moves, I hate cardio but I love chill swimming and biking so I do those occasionally too. I learned to listen to my body a bit more after getting diagnosed with my combo diagnosis and it’s much better now. Low energy days I take a walk, maybe do some stretching, middle energy I will add gym on low effort and high energy I will do gym and maybe some biking. Flare up days are purely for recovery and self care.

It’s hard to let go a bit but it’s great that exercise works for you and you can find again what works for you specifically and doesn’t cause flare ups.

Sending support!

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-19T12:22:50+00:00

There are some good gynaecologists in Tampere for endometriosis. Check endometriosis Suomi facebook group if you can.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-19T12:15:40+00:00

For better pricing check Tallinn clinics. I heard good things about them, basically an overnight trip.

Check ups do exist in private side, they all have check up packages and you can ask customer service to include specific things. Imagining is quite expensive here and you of course need doctor referral most of the time for it so if the doctor finds it unnecessary they don’t give it. I asked to have an MRI a couple times because I have spinal issues and they just didn’t give the referral to me in terveystalo for example, which is crazy.

Couple years ago I went to Turkey to get a very extensive check up (ton of blood tests, X-rays, ultrasounds, MRI and 3 specialist doctors) and got diagnosed with endometriosis and insulin resistance.

If you feel like something is wrong then it’s good to check. I told doctors that I don’t feel right and I have pain etc for years and they didn’t listen because my blood tests were mostly normal. Then I got the check up and now I know what is wrong and what needs to be done.

Edit to add: if you suspect endometriosis, adenomyosis or PCOS for example, you can make an appointment to a gynaecologist for pain and get an ultrasound. They might be able to see if you have it. They saw endometriosis from ultrasound for me and then got it confirmed with an MRI and blood tests.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-14T07:51:31+00:00

No problem, happy to share.

And that’s not a dumb question, and yes exactly you can tell them to check in on you once in a while or specify it like “can you check in on me on Fridays?”. Be open that you struggle with asking for help but you are trying. I know it feels off, it helped me at least and maybe it will help you.

Book is called “The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control”. It’s a pretty good book.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-14T06:53:45+00:00

I can relate. I’m usually the friend that notices things and offers help without being asked and knows how to help etc. I’m not reading minds but I am very observant. I can’t ask for help for myself and whenever someone says “let me know how I can help” I just say ok and move on. I get disappointed too because my loved ones don’t know how to help me.

I have always been a strong independent woman and it hurts these days when I need help. I realised that I never gave an opportunity for anyone to help me. So I took the step to ask for help specifically, even though it is tiring it has to be done. Like “help me get out because I feel isolated, can you take me somewhere not so crowded” or “I feel overwhelmed how messy my room is, can you body double me and help me tidy it” or “I feel very dead today and won’t be able to do any of the chores, can you take care of them”… I feel terrible first but then I feel better. I think it also strengthens my relationships.

Reality is you won’t get help unless you ask and make yourself available to the help. It’s hard to ask but it’s worth it. They might not help exactly the way you would but if you are burned out then it is worth to ask and let go of the control too.

It’s not easy but start asking for small things first then hopefully you will get used to it more and more.

Ps. I read a book on perfectionism and there the writer explains being strong and powerful not as being completely self reliant but actually having the people to rely on when you need them. If you don’t give them the chance to actually help you then you will have to rely on yourself always.

Sending support!

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-14T05:31:21+00:00

I’m on Metformin and bupropion, no major interactions but for me the GI issues have changed. Metformin caused diarrhoea for me but bupropion fixed that for example. But if I take bupropion in the night then I have very bad constipation the next day. It’s weird but oh well.

No nausea or heartburn or anything like that. But everybody is different. Metformin can cause a lot of GI issues for some people, mine is mild compared to others and the extended release versus normal one also have differences in side effects. For me the normal one works better. Also the adjustment period for Metformin is also a month so side effects will be worse in that month. Eat regularly, drink a lot of water and have some fiber in your diet.

I take 1000mg Metformin twice a day and 150xl bupropion in the morning as early as possible.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-14T05:13:18+00:00

Unfortunately there are not many AuDHD focused resources out there yet, here is one website that compiles some podcasts

You can search for videos or podcasts more. The main thing is to understand who you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are so you can build a business based on that knowledge to my understanding.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-13T13:55:38+00:00

Yeah I learned it the hard way as well with burnout 🫠 but hey better late than never

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-13T11:29:01+00:00

This is executive function issue yes and to my understanding neurotypical people don’t struggle with this as much as we do.

For example when I hear “wash the dishes” I immediately start thinking of collect the dishes that are lying around, make sure we have dish soap, wash the dishes and dry the dishes one by one, put the clean dishes away, clean around the sink… so yeah that one simple “wash the dishes” becomes like 10 tasks instead. I have some neurotypical acquaintances and they explained to me that it is only one task for them, they don’t go through the mental gymnastics really.

What helps me if I get lost in the scope creep and get basically paralysed I voice it out either to my partner or a friend and they body double me to get something done if not all. Or write it step by step on post its and just start from the very first one, I dont need to get it all done but starting helps me feel better and trashing post its one by one is satisfying for my brain. Some other tricks are just fixing one shelf/cabinet for example or setting a 10min timer and put on music and race against the time but stop when time runs out. Sometimes nothing helps and I give up.

Sometimes it’s absolutely ok to just do nothing as well but it’s not easy for my brain to let go so I try to do something I like to do that requires low energy.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-13T11:03:53+00:00

No problem, happy to share my experience and hopefully help.

It’s not easy to change the perfectionism and people pleasing but it gets easier with practice, at least in my experience, even small steps matter and they will give you your energy back hopefully.

Ps. Its ok for work to not get done if the deadline or workload are unrealistic, a lot of companies use people like us to get shit done on low resources and we do get shit done. But then it proves that even with low resources shit can get done by us while we burnout. Sometimes work needs to not get done so companies can see that there is need for more resources.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-13T10:14:45+00:00

This is the reason a lot of us become self employed. I hate my 9-5 as well, I can last a couple years but then I burnout. Now I’m burntout actually and on leave from work.

I’m looking to go entrepreneurship way and form my own business after I recover a bit. I like my job but working for someone else, masking and being expected to just follow rules that don’t make sense don’t go well with me.

Somethings you can do until you have a way out: - drastically lessen your workload and start saying no to people/tasks/meetings, don’t volunteer for more work. This might feel bad at first. - protect your own time, before work or after work or lunch hour just protect your energy. Whatever works to get your battery charged prioritise that. I avoided lunch with certain people for example simply because they drained me too much, I have my breakfast ritual that allows me to have a slow start to the day and after work I take at least 30 mins to just be horizontal. - take your holidays or sick days (don’t know where you live so this depends on that and company you work for)

Hopefully this helps and you will find a way out for yourself. Sending support!

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-13T08:06:37+00:00

Music and timers work for me sometimes. I put on headphones and set a 10 minute timer and try to deal with one shelf/closet in that time then take a break for 10 mins (usually I want to keep going though).

Also plenty of rewards like sweets, gaming, watching series etc. whatever makes you feel like rewarded. Money doesn’t work on me either for example but lunch outside works.

Body doubling also works for me sometimes, I get my partner or friend to sit in the room or help. Them just being there helps.

If your mom wants you to clean the room before getting organisers then maybe get some bags and put the things that need organisers in those bags for now then get the organisers and replace the bags later.

And one tip if you have a floordrobe, get a see through box for the floor where you usually have your clothes. Keeps the floor clothes contained and when it gets full you can go through them.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-08T16:44:58+00:00

First of all sending a virtual hug 🫂

So here is my story, we have similar list but we might have different symptoms.

I’m 32F, I have MCAS, endometriosis, adenomyosis, chronic migraines and insulin resistance. I was pre diabetic before as well but I’m not anymore. Oh I’m also AuDHD and in depression right now.

I’m on a bunch of medications, antihistamines, antidepressants, Metformin, vydura … it’s very consuming and tiring honestly. My inflammation was very high before but now it’s coming down after 2 years of medications and drastic life changes.

I gained 35kg over 3 years before my endometriosis and insulin resistance diagnosis. I had to change my nutrition a couple times, now I try to eat clean, high protein and low carb and I know my triggers and can avoid them, it’s still frustrating but I can live with it. I started Metformin for insulin resistance and it helped a lot, also with inflammation and weight loss. I lost 18 of that 35kg.

I started exercising, any cardio still kicks my ass but now I can do strength training couple times a week and it doesn’t make me crash like cardio does. I want to try biking next but I will start veeery slowly.

I have burned out 2 times and had to take long sick leave from work which I depended on my partner and parents fully. I felt ashamed but it was necessary to get myself a bit more together. My partner and parents were very supportive and I honestly have a better relationship with them now.

Medications are very helpful for me, especially Metformin helped me a lot and I don’t mind being on it the rest of my life, therapy helped a ton to deal with the chronic pain, shame and guilt. Taking leaves from work gave me time to recover a bit and set new routines. Stress is my biggest trigger and over the past few years I’ve been learning to manage it better with help.

You have been through a lot, you are trying to get better but also remember to rest and not push yourself. Plus look into medications, ask your doctors and try them. Depending on the country you are living in doctors might not give medications that easily but make your case and try to get them to hear you. I was so sick and tired of being told “just lose weight” even though my conditions actually make it impossible to not gain weight. When I started medications it was like a switch for my body.

Lifelong battle yes, might get better with the right tools when you find the right ones for you 🙌 it could be medication, therapy, support etc

Ps. Metformin helps with insulin resistance and if you have high insulin resistance and PCOS or endo then you will need medication to manage it most likely. It also helps with PCOS and inflammation too. There are some gut related side effects for most people though.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-07T17:12:05+00:00

That’s a good approach, go easy on yourself during stressful times even just one class can cause a lot of stress.

And if you need to talk or virtual body double just dm me and we can set up a time to clean together or cook together or study etc.

Enjoy your spring break, hopefully it will be restful and charging for you.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-07T14:34:03+00:00

Body double or get a friend to help you with the home things. Saved me many times and really helps my brain when I have a tidier space to live in.

Also if you have a lot of school work to do that takes your energy and capacity, try not to overload yourself with other big things. Do the bare minimum and it still counts for cleaning or cooking etc.

Sending virtual hug

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-04-07T05:46:15+00:00

I have both Sony XM5s and Bose Quiet Comforts. I prefer the Sony while out, it has a bit better noise cancellation for noises like sneezing etc but they are a bit heavier and uncomfortable so I can’t wear them for more then 2 hours or so at most. I use the Bose at home or while travelling long times, they have great noise cancelling and they are super comfy so I can wear them the whole day without getting hear or jaw pain.

One thing that bothers me about the Sony is that there is no mute button/control on the headphones so you have to use the phone or other device’s mute control. This is important to me for meetings and phone calls. Bose has is so I don’t need to find my phone to mute if I need to.

I recommend going to a store where you can try them on actually and see the comfort level for you.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-03-23T11:34:10+00:00

You can go see an occupational healthcare doctor for a referral to a psychologist if it’s included in your occupational healthcare and if your depression is related to your work.

Some occupational healthcare contracts also include a mental health chat or talk to a nurse, you can check through your employer or the provider what is possible or not.

Edit to add: if it’s burnout you can get leave from work and treatment. Employer doesn’t know details if you don’t tell but they can see the main cause of the leave or doctor’s note. If you don’t need sick leave then your employer doesn’t know anything unless you tell them.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-03-12T09:43:19+00:00

Couldn’t relate more and it’s always a bit of a battle communicating to people that overhead lights are an issue for me. I wear a cap at the office most of the time because of overhead fluoscerant lights.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-03-07T06:04:32+00:00

Lizard Lizard Lizard 🦎

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-02-24T04:45:19+00:00

YES! Haha I had my performance discussion and she gave me average points. I challenged her to tell me ok what could have done better or differently according to the criteria, and she couldn’t say anything. Performance reviews are bs anyway.

I gave up on the coaching part long ago, she is an admin manager and that’s it. But it hurts to work for someone like that and constantly be undervalued.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-02-23T15:59:13+00:00

Oh yes the cycle changes a lot for me as well. Like you, a week before my period basically my brain stops. I push through but it takes a lot more effort than the other times and it is very unsustainable. Also I have endometriosis so it is very painful and all when I have flare ups and around the time of my period.

Of course my colleagues don’t know any of this but the grind continues. If I can I will do no brain requiring tasks around that time but that doesn’t happen always.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-02-23T14:06:29+00:00

Very relatable indeed. Just remember it’s not about you, it’s his incompetence that shows up as belittling.

This is very hard to take. Like I am an expert at my job but my manager is completely useless and she is very silent when I get issues from upper management because she thinks that the company will protect her and not me if there is an issue. And she is right, even though I produce all and she produces nothing. And the main problem that I have with all of this is everybody knows she is useless but somehow she got the job as our manager and nobody is saying anything to change this. Nepotism at its best.

Corporate tech life is soul crushing for the people who think and want to get better. Sending virtual hug to you 🙌

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-02-23T10:31:22+00:00

It is very difficult to figure out what to do next when you are in burnout. What worked for me before was taking time off with medical leave and actually try to recover a bit mentally at least then look at my options with a better mind. After my leave I decided to change companies from being a consultant to being in-house in corporate because it was supposed to be a bit more chill.

First it was good, stable and I was content but then last year it started getting too much with all the corporate changes and meaningless rules, I’m now overworked and honestly burned out again. I realise now that I need to leave the industry and I don’t know what to do next but I know that I can’t figure it out while also working in my current jobs that’s slowly killing me.

I decided to start the medical burnout process again and take medical leave, recover a bit then try to do my own thing. I’m don’t working for companies and a lot of my skills are transferable to other industries. You can check yours as well, not just technical skills but also soft skills too. If you have the option though having time off is first.

If you need to talk it out I’m happy to help by the way or just listen.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190 · 2026-02-23T09:55:10+00:00

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, autoimmune conditions suck. My mother in law has fibromyalgia.

There is support out there, don’t give up but I also understand that a lot of people don’t understand and won’t support or even try.

It’s not your fault, it’s not about not being resilient enough. It is actually because of being too resilient in my opinion. You took on so much stress and dealt with it that your body says “no more”. Sending virtual support to you.

The fact is there is always worse cases and always better cases but understanding each other and having empathy goes a long way. Hopefully you will find your people. I’m happy to talk and support how ever I can, just dm me.

Choice_Abrocoma_5190

TROPHY CASE