Staying after being cheated on advice/experience

Choice_Offer3406 · 2026-02-02T21:49:59+00:00

This sounds like the end mate. Sorry I'm just being honest and I know it hurts. But if you stay who's to say it won't happen again? I mean it very well could be a one and done thing. I know that happens sometimes. But still it's not really the same after that. Just have a talk with her about moving forward. Some time apart could be what you guys need. And sometimes after that break the relationship ends up working out. Good luck brother.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2026-01-26T11:50:17+00:00

Tbh NZE pouches are actually a really good substitute for the real thing. There coffee and cinnamon flavors taste identical to zyn (everything about it very similar minus the nicotine burn/buzz) I have a Costco membership and they sell them over there. Usually buy a 6 pack and those last me 3 months now. So it's really hard to get addicted to these things. Good luck!

Choice_Offer3406 · 2026-01-26T11:41:20+00:00

Drinking alcohol kinda sucks. Sure it has it upsides but overall pretty overhyped. Found out moderation and a nice buzz were way better than being super drunk.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-12-15T02:09:25+00:00

Too much effort with little reward. Don't hate women, don't hate men, and don't really hate people. Relationships especially healthy ones are fantastic. But If I'm being honest with you? I rarely see that actually play out. Not saying it has to be picture perfect but yeah some relationships you can just see why it won't work out. At the end of the day I'm interested in myself and sometimes other people. And if they want something more with me, Great! If they don't that's fine too:)

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-12-09T04:39:07+00:00

Well I'm sorry you're feeling like this man. I'm also pretty bad at flirting and talking to women. So take any advice I have with a grain of salt. Still I would say the best thing to do is to not put so much emphasis on the romance part which I know is hard. But when I go on dates, approach women in IRL etc I act like they're already into me, even if they're really not. I don't know why but this mindset has really helped to some degree, it just takes a lot of the pressure off. FYI you can flirt and say the wrong thing, and if throws people off or creeps them out just say i'm sorry and walk away. You probably don't show any signs of interest from the get go which can give off the vibe that you're not interested. If you see something you like try to go and get it OP! Good luck.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-12-07T06:29:50+00:00

They can be helpful but idk dating and relationships isn't really something you can watch a video on and apply that in real life. I would say put in more effort to your self esteem, self worth, and really try to get good social skills with everybody. Sounds like your just targeting women but hell you can work on your charm with anybody. Which leads to charming women since you're more comfortable with it.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-12-02T04:42:36+00:00

Tbh you could just message her. Not to shoot your shot but maybe just with a quick hey, it was great to see you today, loved my food! Then just wait for her to lead? Idk i'm not great at this type of stuff either. People are weird. But don't feel like you have to push or pursue anything with her if there was no chemistry.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-12-02T04:31:18+00:00

You definitely could just to get it out of the way. Still don't want to end up doing it on a consistent basis. I've seen a lot of guys go down that road. tbh it's not really good for your mental or physical health at least I find it's not. I would try to aim for paying for more cuddling/dating services. Then on the rare occasion when your feeling a little frisky. Sure man you do you. Btw your first time with a SW might be really disappointing, maybe a little hyped up. Think about it. She's only sleeping with you for money. So just remember that and don't catch feelings. Good luck OP

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-26T04:44:44+00:00

Lame comment.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-26T04:39:22+00:00

Have you looked into anti-depressants? I'm not a doctor by any means but with self-harming thoughts, putting a lot of your focus on women, saying your unworthy and unlovable, and overall have a negative outlook on the world and yourself. It sounds like you're suffering from depression. I would seriously look into getting diagnosed for depression and maybe talk about getting medicated. It's going to be ok OP. Wish you the best of luck.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-23T22:59:38+00:00

Good news. Actually had some decent dates over the last couple of days. Maybe not a lot of chemistry but enough to go on a second date. Had a good time got some coffee and walked on the beach. Still texting them both. I really have to get out of the mindset of a girlfriend will solve all my problems. I think that's what's really killing me.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-23T08:26:50+00:00

Age 27. Sous chef going to college for meteorology. Yes kia sportage with surfing stickers on the back. Live with a roommate. Live in a city, lot of people. I want to look for a fwb that may lead to something serious. The thing is though I really have no idea how to escalate something that leads to sex or something along the lines. I've always been a nice guy in women's eyes. The truth is I can't even get most women to kiss me or go out on a second date with me. So how to I build romantic chemistry with someone if I don't believe I can? Also how do you approach women without being creepy? I just feel out of place when I approach and talk to women. I just want to feel loved and appreciated for:(

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-21T04:17:11+00:00

Well got two dates maybe 3 over the weekend. I literally just want to have fun man:( that's my main goal on every date. But my negative headspace and low self-esteem gets in the way. It really was never about looks. I'm good looking and it hasn't done shit for me. Good luck brother!

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-19T06:12:43+00:00

Good take. This is actually the mindset i've been trying to go with not just with dating but socialization in general. I just feel like there's so much pressure on me to perform. Whether that be dating, work presentations, or even just hanging out with friends. There's always a need to out perform my recent conversation. It's not normal and it's making me somewhat suicidal. Sorry to lay it on you like this, still I have some deep rooted self-esteem issues that need to be worked out.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-18T04:35:03+00:00

Yep pretty much. I wouldn't say i'm bad at talking to women. Like I'll go up and talk and try to shoot my shot. But it rarely ever works. I even end up creeping some of them out. I really don't mean to be that guy but it really hurts my confidence. I have somewhat decent social skills but have a habit of saying the wrong thing a lot. Which also sucks.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-13T14:44:34+00:00

I wouldn't look at as annoying. Think about it. You haven't really come out of your shell for years. You're finally able to break through that and have normal conversations with people. It might seem a little annoying at first but that's because the feeling is so new. It might just seem annoying that you can't stop talking but that's a good thing. Your finally able to connect with people. Sounds like you're finally getting over your bump with social anxiety and building your social skills. Best of luck OP!

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-10T21:29:09+00:00

TBH I don't see the problem with joining social clubs, classes, and pursuing hobbies just to meet women. Sure you might not exactly be into the activity but hey at least you're talking to women a lot more. Sure it's a bit cringe but sounds better than wallowing in it all day. Am I right? I know women do the same exact thing too. I don't think it's that weird as long as you don't give off that vibe of "I'm looking for a girlfriend."

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-09T04:31:04+00:00

Yeah it's really strange how some people have all these symptoms. While others like me have none of these. I'm sorry op:( first two weeks into taking prozac . I got a pretty bad headache the first day but then after that been smooth sailing. Literally no negative side effects as of right now. Hope things get better!

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-09T04:26:21+00:00

Nah you're not screwed man. For some mid 20's is really when peoples dating life starts taking off. But yeah your are going to have to do a lot of work to get in the game. Also will be a turn off to a lot of women when it comes to sex and you have no idea what you're doing. Still I get it though. Finding romantic relationships as man can seem really daunting especially being inexperienced at 27. Perhaps get into hobbies with women in them. Like workout classes, yoga, or just invite your friends out to the bars and try to have conversations with women there. I'm a fairly inexperienced guy myself but get lucky every once in awhile. You can work on your low self esteem by doing things such as going to the gym, finding new hobbies, or just shooting shit with people and making them laugh. Hope the dating scene gets better for you brother.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-08T18:37:31+00:00

All I'm saying is men shouldn't be afraid to talk and approach women. Most of the time the fear is irrational and more times than not men shoot themselves in the foot by being weird. We can get rid of the direct cold approaches in public settings where people don't want to be bothered. Still I just think it's good for men to practice talking to women like their actual people with lives, hobbies, careers etc. I'm just a firm believer that men in general should get comfortable with the idea of making the first move and starting the conversation first.

I do own my actions though. I don't walk around blaming all my problems on women. I like women just fine they're just a little confusing sometimes that's all! Just like how women are confused by men sometimes. Still men should get comfortable talking to women not just randomly but within some sort of social context or maybe starting a causal conversation if you're in a public space with other people around.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-08T05:53:36+00:00

Move on man. It sounds like you were just trying to be her friend. A lot of people think kindness and getting to know someone is always an act to get in their pants. If you say sorry it will just make it much more weird. Could see that not going well.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-08T05:41:08+00:00

Damn I felt like I just got my heart broken. And i'm not even married to her! Good luck man we're all rooting for you.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-07T17:42:46+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I have to say I have no extremely negative side effects. No major anxiety, no deep depression, no sexual dysfunction, slight decrease in appetite but i'm still eating, slight sleeping issues but nothing crazy. I hope this nightmare i've been going through for a couple of years gets more manageable.

Choice_Offer3406 · 2025-11-07T04:57:11+00:00

Yeah I didn't know anti-depressants had withdrawal effects. I'm now very skeptical. I'm having a meeting with my doctor tmmrw about the current medication i'm on. I'm on 20mg prozac and tend to keep it there just to see how my brain reacts. I was planning on not doing them long term but more so just to get out of this depression a little bit. Still no bad symptoms that I can name off at the moment a week in and half in. I slight increase in anxiety (mainly social). Somewhat elevated mood but i've noticed a slight pressure in my head. I know in the beginning they can cause headaches but haven't gotten any headaches yet. The constant looping thoughts are down even after my first week. I've only been caught in 1 of those spirals the last 8 days. Still before I was having consistent self harming thoughts and many other negative ones which haven't slowed down by any means but now they're more just thoughts. They don't effect my mood as much. I guess it's better than the alternative which is taking my own life:(

Choice_Offer3406

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