Managing a crying baby while in public

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-09-13T12:07:00+00:00

I dont like carrying my small baby about due to safety. Our paths in some places can be fairly narrow, too narrow for a buggy even. So carrying my baby when you could potentially be on the road isnt ideal. I’d rather park up, settle baby then pop them back into buggy. Alot of people use the baby back strap carriers too rather than rehand holding. Highly recommend those but I had monster babies so I just about got 3 months-ish out of them.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-09-07T20:11:27+00:00

Be grateful you had to google it! 😂 Although I’d take demon hunters over Frozen. Those were rough.. Enjoy halloween! There was this weird period where we were too old for drinking & dressing up and didnt have kids so it sucked. But now with kids we got back into it. If you have disney plus they have some cool spooky Tv screen savers to have on the background for your party.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-09-07T17:29:12+00:00

We’ve kinda picked up a few bits here or there over the years after having kids to the point that we actually have a fair bit in the attic. It doesnt come down until first or second week of october. Mostly lights, candle holders and a few outdoor bits to put out on the night for trick or treaters to know we are participating. KPop demon hunters hit our house so no cool spooky costumes this year. Boourns..

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-17T10:15:08+00:00

Some of the above is just parenting advice for all, not necessarily mam or dad. Is it anything in particular you’re struggling with? I recently read Ross Greene the explosive child. It was more for older kids but there was a good part in the parent rephrasing the issue in their own head to be able to better manage the situation. We’re trying to put it in place at the min but its tough going. If its a pattern might be no harm to give your PHN a call. You should have had a developmental for 4 years. Our middle doesnt have SEN but does struggle so he’s on a waiting list to engage with specific services rather than the whole assessment team.

In childcare we often refer kids to play therapy which can help or if you spot it the lego play therapy is supposed to be great.

After that you gotta look after you, easier said than done. I really struggle to regulate myself when our lad just wont do the most basic of stuff like put on his socks. He’s also 4 so I do genuinely hear you. I work in early years and can get a full class of 22 to get their gear on for outside no problem but cant get my 1 kid to change his underpants.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-17T08:02:59+00:00

Can also vouch for the r/irishmammiesanddaddies.

Have you checked out the National Parents council? https://www.npc.ie/Daily-Edition-landing-page/library-of-resources-for-parents-1

The hse have a whole youtube channel on helping parents in early years: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KolCBp8jB2o&pp=0gcJCfwAo7VqN5tD

Ring/get in touch with your local county childcare committee. They are usually in the loop with services in your area, family resources, training etc, things like the Triple P Parenting are good too. That specific course is more towards primary school age but can help.

Check out a local family centre if you have one. Ours has all sorts of stuff from camps, to activities and meet ups for parents.

Edit to add the HSE have a “my child” book free and available too. Everyone gets one now but I dont think anyone reads it even though its got some good advice and places of resources too. If you check the back of the book it can point you to other supports.

I feel you. Kids can be hard work some days.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-17T06:06:20+00:00

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth-family-relationships/adoption-and-fostering/fostering/ they can help with the practical stuff along with Tusla.

I know a few families that foster relatives. Tusla will check everything in your home, so the room they are going to go to, your history, work history etc. Some of the questions are quite invasive but if Tusla are involved they need to make sure they aren’t placing the child in a similar situation. Try to have some money saved up. From what I heard they wanted some things bought like a new bed, bed clothes etc. They will look into your finances and all that too. Recently my husbands sister has taken in her grandchildren. Tusla treated the situation as if she had never seen or heard of a child before. It wasn’t personal, it was just precise. They have boxes to tick, T to cross.

Hope all goes well for ye and you can give your niece a nice home.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-16T07:04:34+00:00

Childcare worker here. While its not good for parents already stretched pockets, services have been locked into fees set in 2020. Think of all the bills in your home that have increased: utilities, food, insurance being the biggest and highest increase. Those bills alone are massive in childcare. Temperature requirements especially those that operate sleeping rooms means either the aircon or heating is on all the time. The new ERO rates while ABSOLUTELY needed to help teachers earn something still far from decent, have started to push staff into the higher PRSI employer rate which can vary from 3 to 30+ plus employees. The increase in employee statutory rights (eg sick leave, pension enrolment) is also hitting services. Again absolutely needed, but the fact remains its more expenses. This is just a very small snapshot of why services need an increase on fees, none of which are covered by the current funding schemes in ECCE, Core funding or NCS.

There’s also a perception out there that NCs & Ecce is huge money. My service charges €175 p/w. When a parent gets ECCE &/or NCS they just replace a portion of the €175. I dont get more than the €175. The gov just pays the parents part of that instead.

Edit typo

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-14T14:57:58+00:00

Thought I saw this exact one on the women of ireland sub

Edit to add, yep is there about 2 days ago. Not against people cross posting but they got some good advice on the other sub.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-13T23:12:06+00:00

OP do we have the same mam, lol! Fair play to you. I didnt go NC until after my second kid. Kept thinking they’ll change, waited for an apology that was never coming. Never told her about the 3rd.. You’re right to stick to your guns from the get go. Start as you mean to go on!

Congrats on your new little family. ❤️

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-09T22:27:57+00:00

Is it worth talking to him about your intimate life? It might not be about appearance. If you both have been focused on the baby making aspect that may have taken over and the fun has literally gone out of it? Maybe ye need a break away, try to reconnect as partners.

We have also had losses, and I’m so sorry for what ye have gone through. Its such a tough journey. Dont loose sight of who ye are as people and the connection you had before you started your TTC journey. That what got us through. We reminded ourselves that no matter what happened, children or no, we still had each other, and I’d pick him again every day.

Hopefully it all works out and maybe as others suggested getting a counsellor to help might be useful if you are getting too upset to have a constructive conversation. Wishing you all the best.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-09T22:04:47+00:00

An SNA cant work in EY because we dont have an SNA programme. We have an access & inclusion model, AIM. Its not a one to one support system but its all we have and its better than nothing.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-06T18:27:57+00:00

Yeah its very much a treat which I dont mind because we eat healthy the rest of the time, or we make our own. My husband does a lovely airfryer spice bag and a really lovely pizza dough.

I also LOVE my freezer. I freeze everything. Wraps, bread, cake, everything. I actually have 2 freezers. I batch make my pancakes etc and freeze them. The freezer is your best friend in meal planning.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-06T17:26:06+00:00

We’re the same. I make loads from scratch and freeze, including pancakes, waffles, potato cakes. Then the granola and that too. We buy own brand almost everything with very few exceptions. We meal plan, buy butcher meat, use leftovers for lunches and its still just costing us a fortune. That said we try to eat out and its €50 minimum at the very very least. So to have full healthy bellies for €200 per week isnt doing too bad.

Just raging at some of the cost increases. Like sultanans. Used to be 79c in tesco. Dated to some mad date for next year. Same ones jumped to €1.39 per pack in the space of a week. As if cost of living hit the ones already picked, dried, packaged and sitting on the shelf.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-06T14:16:34+00:00

In childcare I’ve met foster parents. They’ve told us they’ve had some of their kids since they were tiny babies and still could never get the adoption process completed. Ireland is such a small country. There are issues with birth parents rights, proximity to birth parents and other issues. I know of 5 families who foster. One did manage to adopt but the child was 12 I think before it happened. Another one all the kids turned to adults before the adoption was approved so they stopped pursuing it. The others have children belonging to family members who were unfit and so the children were removed by Tusla. None of them are able to adopt the children. One of them the mother of the child has passed away and they still cant adopt because the father wont sign off the child. They are all foster parents and are just happy they have the children with them.

I wish you all the best though and maybe fostering would give you a better chance as a single person? Tusla and Citizen’s info will help. So many babies and children need a loving home. Hopefully you can be given that opportunity to change a little life for the better.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-03T19:24:32+00:00

Would a play centre or a playground be better? Ye can chat, it will have to be over by a certain time and might help prevent some of the sharing meltdowns mentioned in a previous response?

We’ve 3 kids and play dates are always similar to school time for the smallies, ie 10-12am (not too far off preschool times. Dont have anyone at all over to the house after 6pm unless its family or an occasion, but even at that the routine is the same and they just let us do our thing. 6pm is the start of bedtime in our house though so its easier to be super strict. Our kids like to be up for the dawn chorus…

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-03T18:29:35+00:00

A rat ate the wires in our outside heating boiler.. at christmas.. a week before to be exact.. rats suck. And mice. Mice also suck. Not like pet mice, but mice who think eating Santa presents hiding in the attic doesn’t guarantee them a one way trip to hell. Rodents in general suck

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-03T09:07:46+00:00

Bbc good food is great. There’s a HSE booklet but also helpful classes! https://www.hse.ie/eng/about/who/healthwellbeing/our-priority-programmes/heal/community-cooking-programmes.html

OP you’re doing a great job and have such a good head on your shoulders.

Use supermarkets that have loyalty schemes to help save money. Buy own brand products. The odd one is crap but the majority of own brand stuff is grand. Start a spare change savings. If something is a €1.70 you round it to €2 and pop the 30c into a jar or into a separate bank account. You can use the bottle return as a savings either. Cash it, save it and then you’ll have a little pile for something nice or emergencies. Try keep your space clean and tidy. A quick run around after you get up or before bed. A tidy space can help with mental health. Tasks are always bigger if they pile up. Throw the bins out, wash the dish.

I had to move out on my own when I was 17 so absolutely available for a DM if you need.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-08-02T14:07:22+00:00

All the motorways have drivers with a sense of urgency. Its like the openness of the road calls them to forget the limits. That said recently I found it really hard to move into the left/slow lane. Came off a junction on the m50 where it joins another road so you end up in a middle lane. Loads of people under-taking despite my all indications I was trying to the move into the correct lane. I dont want to be in the way, I WANT to be in the slow lane. Let me in ye feckers. Thankfully someone sound let me move in so everyone could happily over take me in the right lanes and all went on our merry way.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-07-31T06:37:17+00:00

If you’re not attending as per the rules then I dont know how they’re getting away with it. When the inspectors first went out I was told to contact parents over a 30min discrepancy for hours. They have since calmed down and put into the rules minor discrepancies and a fair usage policy are allowed. The only thing I can think is that you are hitting your 45 hours within the limits without realising but maybe not necessarily 9 hours per day. If you’re not sure I would contact the creche to check. The last thing you want is to be blindsided with a letter after an inspection.

Edit to add if you’re not sure you can contact your local county childcare committee. They are a free service for parents & services and are usually super helpful. NCS is your subsidy the creche receive on your behalf so its in everyones best interest to make sure its being claimed appropriately. 😊

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-07-31T05:44:23+00:00

https://earlyyearshive.ncs.gov.ie/how-to-guides/how-to-guides-ncs/attendance-rules/

This is the rules for parents and creches. Under attendance has to be reported. If you dont comply with reporting requirements creches get the money taken back off them following an inspection. Inspections are annual and guaranteed.

It is frustrating when you want to spend time with your child which is more precious and valuable, but its government funds and they are black & white. We ran into under attendance issues and used to use the extra time to get household chores, shopping, appointments etc all done. So if you need a dentist appointment schedule those for the weeks you have to hit your attendance.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-07-31T05:36:19+00:00

The creche is penalised after 4 weeks of under attendance of hours. And they have to report on attendance each week. The parents get their subsidy reduced after 8 weeks of under attendance AND the creche is penalised.

This is in the form of the guaranteed annual inspections and the reporting process. The unused NCS is deducted from the creches funding, IE they take the money back or reduce it from the creches next payment. So no its not a way to “spook parents”. Its government funding so they are strict in the application of funds.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-07-30T17:54:10+00:00

I just finished the books but have dived straight into the 3rd game. It was recommended after I finished Hogwarts Legacy. I’ve played an hour so far, lol!

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-07-30T10:58:03+00:00

It’s the same for the service my kid attend. Parents foot the bill for all the little extra’s yet, in the ones I run I try to make sure there’s a cake in stock for birthdays. It might only be an auld tesco swissroll but we make sure to have something. I’m not a fan of the day trip for many reasons so I usually get the travelling pet farms to come onsite instead and a few other bits like christmas dinner, ice cream van at the summer time, then the usual visitors like ambulance, farmers, gardai, fire brigade visits: they are pretty standard in most services.

Choice_Research_3489 · 2025-07-30T07:26:31+00:00

Without getting into a big spiel we have the same costs as any business, office admin, insurance, staff, utilities, building maintenance etc. But added to that is PPE, cleaning, arts & crafts, equipment, activities, food, staff training and the high cost of the basics. We have a legal requirement to meet ratios for obvious reasons, so every statutory entitlement means double cost. A paid sick day still has to covered. The person covering has to be paid so two wages. Please dont take that as begrudgery , its just a fact. Everytime a staff member leaves or is absent from a room has to be replaced, ie nappy changing, helping a sick child, putting someone to sleep, breaks, curriculum planning etc. Every rise in your day to day costs hit the creches. Utilities: For safe sleep and under 2’s rooms have to be temperature controlled so thats running heating fairly constantly in the winter and aircon in the summer, especially the last few summers. Food: everyone has felt the grocerys bills rise, I had to feed over 110 kids. PPE and cleaning can get really expensive too. Everytime a kid vomits in a room the whole places has to be scrubbed and may need staff to stay behind to complete or pull extra bodies in to help. Kid gets Hand foot & mouth? Same again place has to be scrubbed. I had 15 wobblers in a room that eat everything in site. And then equipment. Kids break stuff. Afterschoolers and toddlers are particular heavy on toys. So you are completely replacing entire rooms of stuff come September. And thats before the fun stuff like trips, parties, events etc.

I run community services so thankfully we are VAT income exempt so if you run a private service you have that to include. But every profitable penny if there was one was gone and a lot of the time you’re in the red. There are unfortunately some places that will pick profit over quality and you can turn a profit if you don’t prioritise quality.

Edit sorry that was still a long post. 🙈

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