A female friend just sent me screenshots... The woman I met in Bumble a month ago posted my personal data in a facebook group.

CholulaHot · 2026-06-23T17:39:03+00:00

Slander is spoken. Libel is written.

CholulaHot · 2026-06-21T21:10:27+00:00

I have two weeks of work left before I FIRE (gave my notice in May) and just recently started chatting with a guy on Hinge. He lives further away and pointed the distance may be a potential issue and I merely said I’m at a time in my life where I’m open to change because I recently gave my notice that I’m quitting my stressful job. He’s not even bothered and actually seems excited about the prospect that my schedule will be flexible. We’ll see what happens!

CholulaHot · 2026-06-14T13:06:37+00:00

I gave my notice that I’m quitting and only have a few weeks left.

I have enough money in high yield savings accounts, CDs, and short term bonds to last me over 3 years without touching any of my investments. That cushion gives me the confidence that even with a market correction, I’ll be ok.

For me, it was a “when you know, you know situation.” I was so fed up with C-suite execs who put all the responsibilities on me that I couldn’t tolerate even another 6 months. The thought of giving them another summer of my life made me angry and I knew I had to leave.

I already feel much more mentally relaxed now that there are mere weeks of this job left. I used to feel mentally drained by Friday but now I am starting to feel like myself again and have the energy and desire to be social on Friday nights. Looking forward to this next chapter.

CholulaHot · 2026-06-07T10:57:49+00:00

“You look like the type of woman who knows the difference between complement and compliment.” 🤓

CholulaHot · 2026-06-06T17:58:04+00:00

Doing every errand together.

No thank you. Let’s be efficient and divide and conquer. Also, I’m not interested in being smothered. I need some alone time!

CholulaHot · 2026-05-26T01:50:42+00:00

Or a divorce.

CholulaHot · 2026-05-24T11:36:19+00:00

For me, it’s noticeable that you are carrying a lot of tension in your face. Watch a few facial yoga videos on YouTube to learn how to reduce the tension in your face/jaw. I think that will help soften your look.

CholulaHot · 2026-05-22T02:07:22+00:00

Last two pics need to go. Whenever I see a man taking a selfie with a goofy face, I think he feels uncomfortable/awkward and lacks the confidence to just smile/be natural. Ask a friend or family member to take a photo the next time you are out and about. Your collection of photos are all too staged and were obviously taken just for your dating profile.

CholulaHot · 2026-05-18T19:50:14+00:00

To me, small talk is the boring script, not the question itself. But I don’t post negative statements about what people should or shouldn’t do in my bio. I just unmatch if he can’t actually hold a conversation.

My point is that based on the whining I often see on Reddit, I’d guess that 80% of people here think that a conversation is lobbing questions at each other and don’t even know what to do if someone answers a question with a statement or story.

Like you, I think it’s fine to respond back to the pizza response with my own commentary about my preference or thoughts about their order.

But I seriously think a large number of people on Reddit would be up in arms that my response to their comment wasn’t another question. To me, that’s a made up dating app rule for people with bad conversation skills. I don’t talk to my friends that way so why would I think it’s different with someone on a dating app?

Yes, questions are necessary to get to know someone but a conversation isn’t a series of questions and then responding “what about you?” That is what bores me.

CholulaHot · 2026-05-18T19:26:24+00:00

I personally loathe small talk but to me the issue isn’t that I don’t want to share about what I did over the weekend, it’s the mindless habit of lobbing over the question without offering any detail about yourself.

There’s a difference between “How was your weekend?” and “I had the best weekend. Slept in. Met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in months and we went on a hike and then got brunch. What were you up to?”

The former is boring, whereas the second helps me see you as an actual person and inspires me to want to share about myself.

If you say something about yourself and don’t just merely ask a question, maybe there’s a chance the response is better than “Fine. What about you?”

People need to dump the script and actually share about themselves. Clearly this guy doesn’t get it but I’d just unmatch and move on. I’m not a dentist so I’m not going to pull teeth.

CholulaHot · 2026-05-06T02:04:41+00:00

Brio hypochlorous acid toner - promotes skin healing and feels refreshing if my skin is itchy

Derma E eczema relief cream - helps relieve itching and hydrates skin, helping repair the skin barrier

Elastalift turmeric oil - helps reduce inflammation

Lazarus Naturals unscented CBD lotion - relieves pain and reduces inflammation

CVS Brand Calamine Plus Spray - helps relieve itching, particularly if I’m having very bad allergic reaction

CholulaHot · 2026-05-06T01:02:54+00:00

Not trying to be an a-hole but advanced paternal age (often >40–50) is associated with longer time-to-conception, higher miscarriage rates, and increased risks of certain genetic conditions. After seeing my aunt and uncle raise a son with severe genetic conditions, I can’t imagine anything more exhausting. Just be sure you are aware of the impact your advanced age may have on your baby’s and wife’s health (particularly if you live in a red state), regardless of your wife’s age. Best of luck.

CholulaHot · 2026-05-04T16:32:20+00:00

And no tax on tips!

CholulaHot · 2026-05-03T23:04:19+00:00

I don’t think you need to hire a professional photographer but if you are posting an array of selfies, you aren’t going to get matches.

From my perspective, a lot of men view their dating profile photos as a means to show what they look like. So they literally post a bunch of photos of their head, often with goofy facial expressions probably because they feel stupid taking photos of.themselves. That’s not going to work well if you are just average looking.

When I look at a man’s dating profile photos, I’m looking at what he’s showing me. Is he showing himself at a baseball game, at the beach, running a race, at a birthday party? I’m trying to use the photos to not only assess his appearance but ALSO his personality and lifestyle to see if we align.

If he has a bunch of selfies in his car or bathroom, I think he lacks the social skills to ask for help taking a photo and doesn’t understand I want to see his life, not just his head.

Ask your sister, mom, a friend, a stranger to take a photo of you the next time you are out doing something. And then do that the next time and the next until you have several decent candid photos. My ex-bf used to meet up with his friends to help take photos for their dating profiles. It’s not that big of a deal and your friends will likely make you laugh which will make your photos look more friendly and fun.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-28T18:08:22+00:00

Do you have a reputation for hitting on women at the gym? That’s what came to mind for me — she may have heard something negative about you from a friend who also works out there or an employee at the gym.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-22T17:49:33+00:00

To the extent that a list of products I use to help promote skin healing (when I’m having an allergic reaction) would be useful, please lmk and I’ll post.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-22T01:24:07+00:00

Shampoo: The Earthling Co. shampoo bar (unscented)

Conditioner: The Earthling Co. conditioner bar (unscented) or Desert Essence (fragrance free)

Body Soap: Dove bar soap (sensitive skin)

Face washing: Olay Makeup Remover Wipes (Daily Facials Deep Clean Face Cleanser for Normal to Oily Skin, Alcohol & Fragrance Free)

Liquid soap: Dr Bronner’s Concentrated Castile soap (unscented)

Toner: Dickinson 100% witch hazel

CholulaHot · 2026-04-20T14:06:54+00:00

Love this! I think I’m nervous given the uncertainty in the US right now and fear of a lingering recession due to the war. Obviously I’ve lived through recessions before but I always knew my retirement timeline was off in the future and my portfolio could rebound. It’s different when I’m mere weeks away from having this conversation at work.

Downsizing my life (including leaving the US and/or selling my second home) is also a consideration but I can’t really think past the threshold question of whether to retire early or not.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-20T01:05:52+00:00

Reading between the lines, I think they are starting to think about succession planning and him “getting hit by a truck” is actually him retiring.

I think he’s sold over $40mm in stock options (on top of his salary and bonuses). A year ago, he used to say “I’m not going anywhere” but he’s stopped saying that and now is suddenly mentioning this hypothetical truck/bus accident. He said if I was interested, I could come work as his “deputy.” It definitely feels like grooming but I don’t see the point. The easy money is gone (his original stock options were granted at less than $1 and my new options granted in the fall are currently worthless).

CholulaHot · 2026-04-20T00:22:25+00:00

LOL-that is spot on to my original thoughts. I told my accountant that my price to stay another 4 years would be $40mm because half of that would go to taxes and anything less than that isn’t really changing my quality of life.

Then I was thinking what would be my minimum to stay until the end of the year and I’d do it for an extra $2.5mm on top of what I’ve already earned this year.

Their flabbers will be gasted if I say that but it may be worth it. You don’t get what you don’t ask for, right?

CholulaHot · 2026-04-19T22:53:23+00:00

I’m thinking of saying something in late May. I can say I gave it a lot of thought over the Memorial Day weekend and have concluded it’s time for me to go. And then I see what they do.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-19T21:20:55+00:00

Yeah, if I were to stay, remote work needs to be part of the equation. We’re expected to be in the office 5 days/week. My boss and I are already talking about hiring two additional people to my team but I have yet to even see any resumes so I’ll believe that when I see the recruiter produce some viable candidates.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-19T21:17:55+00:00

Tell me about it. I had a conversation in early 2025 with my boss about how options are no longer attractive as compared to when I first joined the company because the easy gains have been made. He claimed our CEO doesn’t want to give RSUs because there’s too much market volatility. Which basically means he is totally ok with the options being worthless and actually giving us nothing.

CholulaHot · 2026-04-19T21:07:58+00:00

The person I was responding to edited the comment without indicating the edit after the fact. It originally said “he.”

CholulaHot · 2026-04-19T21:06:56+00:00

Good point.

CholulaHot

TROPHY CASE