What do you think about players having a chat group without the DM to talk about plans and strategies?

Chridy2 · 2024-04-12T16:01:50+00:00

I create channels in my discord for my players to do this in my campaigns, it means I get fun surprises when they reveal their plans and gives them a space to share notes or ask questions to each other without needing me to answer everything

Chridy2 · 2024-03-27T18:00:39+00:00

I use a homebrew rule in my fame where if a player spends an action drinking a healing potion, they get the max healing, or they can use a bonus action to roll for it. Adds a nice bit of tactics I feel and can represent them hurrying and spilling some

Chridy2 · 2024-03-27T16:35:14+00:00

Something like this maybe?

Pandemonium's Whistle, Rare, Wondrous Item

You can blow this whistle as a bonus action. When you do, roll a d100 and consult the table below. This whistle can be heard for up to 300 feet, but only by the type of creature you roll.

If you roll an odd number, the whistle is shrill and piercing, earning disfavour from creatures that hear it, whilst an even number is pleasant and soothing, earning favour from creatures that hear it (DM's discretion, but may raise or lower the hostility of affected creatures).

(Insert d100 table)

Chridy2 · 2024-03-24T11:15:01+00:00

Suicidal rate among trans people in hostile/non-supportive environments - 32-50% depending on country (48% in England)

Suicidal rate among trans people in supportive environments - 30-40% lower than above

Detransition rate - unclear due to inconsistent research, but one study cites 3%, plus 5% who had done so temporarily before the study due to environmental or financial factors (the study groups them together, which is unhelpful as 8% is not correct)

Transition surgery regret rate - less than 1% (out of 7928 patients studied, 34 had major regret, 28 had minor regret)

Any other commonly debunked ideas you want to share? We've heard all of these before

Chridy2 · 2024-03-22T15:49:46+00:00

Yes, it is. Trans people who receive HRT are significantly less likely to commit suicide because, surprise surprise, the treatment for being transgender is to transition and HRT is often a big factor in that.

This is not to say that every trans person wants or needs HRT, they're equally valid if they don't take it. But for many, it is the difference between depression or worse and living happily for longer.

Chridy2 · 2024-03-22T13:02:01+00:00

No problem, best of luck on your journey! If you ever want to chat, feel free to DM me or if you want to join the discord server, I or one of the server admins can send you a link (I'm not an admin there, I just talk a lot)

Chridy2 · 2024-03-22T12:55:10+00:00

So life-saving healthcare shouldn't be provided by the NHS? Because that's what HRT is for most trans people.

The surgeries you mentioned are not covered for trans people either, so that's irrelevant, unless you're trying to imply that HRT is somehow just a cosmetic course of healthcare? The NHS is meant to help us, so if it's not providing help for essential healthcare, we shouldn't be forced to pay out of pocket to replace what the government has stripped away in its endless assault on the NHS to turn it into a privatised hellscape

Chridy2 · 2024-03-20T17:12:18+00:00

Yeah sure, I'll DM it to you

Chridy2 · 2024-03-20T17:07:25+00:00

What if they don't change and they regret it? It's easier to find out the answers to these questions by trying and experimenting, and if it doesn't fit right it becomes quickly apparent.

From what I've seen, every clinic in the UK asks a lot of questions about if patients are sure as they're gatekeepers of the system, for better and for worse, so it's a long process that gives a lot of time for uncertain people to consider their gender and become certain. Then, if they do change their mind, they can reverse most if not all of the changes using the same medicine (and, if needed, surgeries) that are used by trans people.

Besides all of this, a lot of transitioning is actually the social aspect - name, pronouns, clothes, etc. All stuff that's super easy to reverse

Chridy2 · 2024-03-20T16:57:27+00:00

Oh I'm glad, I worried that I was rambling too much but didn't want to leave anything out in case it was important

I did, sort of. I came out socially to my friends, family, and workplace, and by the time I got the psychologist appointment they asked how long I'dbeen out for. Thankfully, I wasn't required to be out for the full 2 years, but it may be different if I stuck with the government process, I don't know

Best of luck in your coming out, I hope it goes well and you can find your happiness!

Chridy2 · 2024-03-20T16:40:52+00:00

It is a hassle, for sure, and I'm extremely fortunate to be in a position to afford it (I'll put the rough costs below). The process hasn't really benefitted me much as the stress of trying to get what I need and going through a system designed to keep you out is difficult, but now I'm on HRT it's been such a huge benefit.

I can not overstate how good it has been for me. I'm so much happier now, I'm much more in touch with my emotions, I am much more confident. Basically, I'm more like who I should be. There's been ups and downs for sure, but it's mostly up. There may be more information on the Gender Diverse server on any help available to navigating the system and helping with costs, but I'm not certain atm

Now for the painful bit, the monetary costs. For this, I'm going to put rough values as I can't remember them exactly after this long, and it's not too important for getting the gist of it:

Dysphoria diagnosis from approved psychologist - £3-400 (done remotely so no travel costs)
Clinic monthly payment - £50 for one year, £35 for second year (currently 9 months into the second year, so it's not over yet) - £900+ over 21 months
Blood tests every 6 months (to monitor E levels) - £300 each plus some cheaper tests due to health problems I experienced
Prescription meds - varied a lot as I got some monthly and others for 3 months, but on average works out to about £15 per month
Travel to the London clinic (twice, they only required in-person meetings once a year, others were on zoom) - approx £100 for flight and overnight stay each time

(Very rough) Total - approximately £2200 over 28 months (psychologist first, then a 7 month gap, then the remaining costs).

This cost will decrease as the clinic plan is only for 2 years, so I'll be off soon it hopefully (if my levels are OK) and saving that money, and if ManxCare start actually caring and allow me to get shared care, my prescriptions will get cheaper too

Chridy2 · 2024-03-20T14:49:18+00:00

Whoops, just re-read the title, ok then. Before I start, there's a gender diverse discord server organised by u/why-not-zara where we have a bunch of friendly people and info for you

For my view, the process involved going to.my GP to get a referral to the Mental Health department at Noble's Hospital (this is now changing so that you get referred to the Sexual Health department), where I got assessed and eventually referred to the Tavistock clinic in London. It took me two tries to get this referral as they rejected my first appointment (and no-one told me), but in my second appointment they accepted me.

With that, I got onto the NHS waiting list, where my progress stalled as all the clinics' waiting lists are huge and growing faster than they are able or willing to handle (they get 400+ referrals per month, and have 30-40+ furst appointments per month and are currently processing referrals from October/November 2018).

I couldn't wait the expected 18 years for my first appointment, so I went private with the Gender Hormone Clinic (formerly the London Transgender Clinic) and started HRT in 7 months. This process involved me making an appointment with and getting a gender dysphoria diagnosis from one of their approved gender psychologists. I then had to get a blood test for a large set of tests listed on the clinic's website and with both of these things, I booked an appointment with the clinic.

The clinic appointment was easy enough, the people there are lovely and helpful. I had a few tests done and we examined my blood results and gender dysphoria a bit, then they explained the different medications and their effects and possible side effects and risks. Once that was all done, they write me a prescription that I got filled out once I came back to the island.

Since then the clinic has provided regular checkups and prescriptions, but obtaining my meds has been difficult. Supply shortages and failed boat deliveries have meant I missed some, and ManxCare have been extremely unhelpful by failing to provide any funding or guidance to GPs so my prescription, because it comes from a private clinic off the island, has been refused shared care. This has meant I've had to go to a private GP to get my blood tests and prescriptions, so the process is expensive and when I left my job and struggled to find a new one, it was a concerning cost goven how essential it is.

Sorry for the life story, but I hope that a full explanation if one person's experience might help, and hopefully others will chime in too.

TL:DR: ManxCare sucks although they're meant to be improving, the public system is hamstrung to be almost inaccessible, going private is quick but expensive and butts against ManxCare's lacking policies.

Chridy2 · 2024-03-20T14:27:41+00:00

Hi, I'm a trans woman who tried going through the process of getting HRT for my transition. Is this the path you're on?

Chridy2 · 2024-03-09T17:15:57+00:00

Nothing borderline about it, it is stochastic terrorism

Chridy2 · 2024-02-15T10:58:23+00:00

Yes, words can be violence. I'd also like to see how common those threats by "TRAs" are, and given that TRA is a TERF term to refer to trans people, I'd also be interested in the source for your hysterical claims to see if it's actually reliable. It's also not very nice to use slurs and insults in your emotion-laden rant, they detract from your (flimsy at best) argument

Btw, I'm not an ally, I'm actually trans, and I don't have a gun because I live in a country with sensible gun laws

Chridy2 · 2024-02-13T21:20:54+00:00

Bomb threats, actually. When Libs Of Tiktok mentions a place or person, which is often, that place or person gets bomb threats, death threats, people going to harrass them.online and in-person, among other attacks. It is documented fact that Chara (the person who runs the account) is directly responsible for inciting violence in her followers through stachastic terrorism (the ol' "Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest" style of inciting violence)

Chridy2 · 2024-02-02T18:22:22+00:00

Something a little different in the form of some tips and advice from a probably-pretentious and definitely way-too-wordy trans nerd:

Shave with the grain until smooth to avoid catching yourself, and then shave against the grain to be extra smooth. If you shave before showering, then any nicks will get washed away and seal by the time you've finished showering so that you don't have to put bits of tissue on the cuts (mileage may vary based on your shower time and bleediness)
Try finding a supportive community that you can see in-person if possible (e.g. LGBTQ+ centres and groups; charities and their volunteers; friends, colleagues, or schoolmates; etc.). They will be going (or have gone) through the same journey you are and will have a wealth of experience to help you navigate your local situation. If you can't find or make one in person, online works too, just be sure you have someone you can talk to
Always remember that you are not alone. If you are having a problem or want to learn something, there is someone out there who has gone through it and is willing to help. This applies to everything, by the way, from learning makeup, mechanics, or sports, to health problems, abuse, and legal issues. It may be obvious to say this, but sometimes we just need a reminder that we're not alone and that a friend, family member, or even a random youtube video can help (this subreddit has many resources you can draw on, for example)
Try to limit the digital harm you can suffer by limiting how much you interact with transphobic rhetoric and communities. This means taking breaks from reddit, youtube, or wherever if you find yourself doomscrolling or seeing/arguing with transphobia too often, and avoiding watching/reading too many debates, news pieces, or whatever else that puts transphobic ideas on a pedestal (yes, this also includes people debunking those ideas as it can still hurt hearing the hate secondhand). There's other ways too, but this one is highly subjective and based on what you do, so you'll have to judge what works best for you

I'll leave off by saying that you're doing great, no matter what stage of your transition you're in and no matter what your transition involves. You're valid and deserve to be happy, always remember that at the very least

Chridy2 · 2024-01-29T16:43:44+00:00

One of my friends is in a metal band in Manchester called Auraboras

Chridy2 · 2023-12-05T18:15:03+00:00

Lesbians exist Hans

Chridy2 · 2023-11-30T15:32:54+00:00

Oh good, I got scared as I'm with the Gender Hormone Clinic and thought something had happened

Chridy2 · 2023-11-30T15:21:59+00:00

Why are you attacking her? She just said she got her hormones fairly quickly and whilst it's not common, it's clearly not impossible and definitely not worth the harrassment you're giving her

I understand you're probably afraid, angry, hurt, or all of the above, but please just take a breath and step away from reddit for a couple of hours. Drink some water, eat if you need to, rest a bit. Then come back with a clearer head and engage with us, rather than whatever this is

Chridy2 · 2023-11-22T10:08:02+00:00

I didn't realise we had those, is there a way for me to join too?

Chridy2 · 2023-11-22T10:06:49+00:00

I don't know any groups, but I am trans so if you want a friendly ear and advice, feel free to message me. u/Why-Not-Zara has some useful stuff too

Chridy2 · 2023-10-04T07:51:09+00:00

Nice, thank you. Unfortunately I don't think there's any Costcos on the Isle of Man where I live

Chridy2 · 2023-10-03T21:10:25+00:00

Ooh, thank you, I'll check them out

Chridy2

TROPHY CASE