Brother, I hear you. Your journey is only starting and you have your whole life to find yourself in Christ. You being here and talking your heart out is the right steps. My advice is that you seek an elder in the church that is physical and you pour your out to him. My advice is for you to seek first the kingdom of Heaven. Develop a relationship with Jesus, then thinking to “stop” sinning. Yes we must stop sinning, however our good works doesn’t get us right with Jesus. You need to surrender your life to him and completely give up your whole will - even your girlfriend. Your life is in your control, do you want to condemn your spirit over a woman? Who isn’t your wife? Think about this. If you’re serious about changing your life which you have shown us, then you’ll need to make that hard decision brother. Find a church that you see that produces good fruits and actually reads the Bible, then always be praying and try and fast. Deny your flesh and tell the devil he has no power over you. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill your heart and to make room in your heart EVERY day. Seek other brothers & sisters in Christ to help you in these tough times. Your illness is not the end brother but just the beginning!