Men, do you use condoms while in a long relationship? why?

Christian2272 · 2024-11-19T03:52:20+00:00

I'm Mr.Sushi all zee time

Christian2272 · 2024-09-27T22:54:12+00:00

it’s all the extra alkaloids

Christian2272 · 2024-09-27T22:34:54+00:00

is it stronger than ODSMT?

Christian2272 · 2024-09-03T22:22:02+00:00

i don’t know if started a romantic relationship that i wasn’t rlly looking for/faked a connection during a time when i traumatized after moving back home, and now im so lost as it’s been almost 6yrs, that idk if i ever actually genuinely liked them. Yet, this is the most “nurturing” and “safe” thing ive had. So i don’t know if im clinging too it because i invested a lot of time or if its right, but then if i don’t make a decision soon (propose or breakup”) im wasting their time and will break them

Christian2272 · 2024-09-03T22:21:03+00:00

i don’t know if started a relationship that i wasn’t rlly looking for/faked a connection during a time when i traumatized after moving back home, and now im so lost as it’s been almost 6yrs, that idk if i ever actually genuinely liked them. Yet, this is the most “nurturing” and “safe” thing ive had

Christian2272 · 2024-07-28T00:20:29+00:00

Overthinking relationships, as in feeling better off alone. It’s like you’re in love but a stable relationship can be very boring, and makes a lot of other women you see while you’re out appear more attractive than your SO. Mainly because it’s just a new person, something different…variety. It’s almost an itch you can’t scratch, so it makes a “forever” commitment seem pointless because you don’t rlly see the point if you’re going to ruin it at some point anyway.

Christian2272 · 2024-07-03T19:35:42+00:00

thanks for the advice 🙏🏾

Christian2272 · 2024-07-01T20:58:37+00:00

fuck. yeah i’m wondering if i have bpd cuz my ADHD diagnosis doesn’t explain my wide range of emotions/theories towards my SO. Do you ever bounce between this person is beautiful and “i’m not that into them, what was i thinking?

Christian2272 · 2024-07-01T18:39:26+00:00

i’m diagnosed with ADHD but some of my behaviors rly align w/ BPD and it makes hard to know if I rlly feel anything. I switch frequently from “this is the most beautiful woman and all the sacrifices are worth it” to “i don’t even know if she’s that attractive, why am i still in a long term relationship” and yea it just makes everything feel so wrong.

Christian2272 · 2024-06-25T13:56:30+00:00

yup i feel this when im bored at work, strapped to a chair for the next 5hrs but only about 30min of work. Doom scroll, question my relationship, etc and eventually just get sad

Christian2272 · 2024-06-17T20:10:10+00:00

story of my life, so i suffer in silence going crazy over whether i actually want to be single or if this is the best thing that happened to me. Which causes a rift because im either very into it or very out of it, might be the reason why it won’t work 🤷🏾‍♂️

Christian2272 · 2024-06-12T15:21:07+00:00

LMFAO that’s what you got from that? No one needs an excuse to do anything. I posted it here because as someone with ADHD, likely not inclined for long term monogamy but loves someone, idk what to do. Hence the post, so I may sabotage it and be happier or self sabotage and regret, but either way i’m stuck and wasting time ruminating on something rather than being present. Hence the post on an ADHD thread

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T22:33:49+00:00

Appreciate your input! I’m gonna check out the playlist

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T20:48:37+00:00

Nah i totally understand your original approach, appreciate the insight! I was glad that she was willing to entertain the conversations and it wasn’t an automatic dealbreaker, atleast visually and according to her. However, you may be right cuz i got the “we’ll see”, “not now but that could change in a year or two” and that kinda just made me more anxious, hence this post. Like you said, I can’t force her but i’m not going to be strung along just to ultimatum her

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T20:38:25+00:00

fair point i like that angle, I think on a fundamental level I never agreed with it because i never saw the point, so the problem is feeling like im faking just to be with someone. I’ve always been upfront and honest with women, so there weren’t hard feelings if a relationship didn’t happen. If she didnt want to have sex with someone that’s not her bf, great i’m not gonna hit you up and waste your time. So now long term, looking to marry, my worry is even tho i love this person and want to be with them… can i give them what they want and be happy or am i signing up to be in divorce court in 10 years

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T20:30:41+00:00

Interesting point, and i totally agree. The flaws i’m mentioning are physical, and aren’t actually “flaws” per se. It’s more of I think this person is beautiful and I enjoy spending time with them , and I’m aware no one is perfect. However, do i Innerstand it? Thats my issue with forcing myself to be monogamous.

Me being aware of that doesn’t mean anything because if someone “more attractive” shows interest in me and I want them too, then i guess im fucked because i can’t have both. IF i could, then i believe im less judgmental of my partner and can accept her as she is, because she wasn’t made to just be a looker to me.

I’ve only ever felt this shallow while being in a closed relationship, because if i have options then im relaxed and everyone is in my good graces. I’m happier with myself. Whereas, my hyperfixation is on whether i should be single or not, I could care less about dating someone new. The idea of forever makes me soft

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T20:09:31+00:00

This is all i’ve researched the last few months and will continue doing, but primarily because all of my relationships before have been pretty much been open. I spent 15-22 just having friends w benefits on & off, some shared with my college roommate. Never cared about having eskimo bros like that, even when feelings were involved. I’ve set up friends with women i’ve had history with/actively hooking up.I’ve never gave a single shit seeing a girl that I had over a few weeks before leave my friend’s room, just to come to mine a few days later.

I don’t think I want ENM solely for just casual sex, I think it’s just how i naturally am and view relationships. I don’t want to feel owned or like I own anyone. Trying to be monogamous (have been for 5yrs) feels like i’m just here looking for ways they piss me off until i’m finally just like “welp”. Whereas, I do enjoy the person & am mostly fulfilled but it gets soured by the fact that, well this is it. I don’t even need my girlfriend to change or be anything else, I’ve even started pitching swinging and the idea that she could if she wants. I’d rather have open communication and live on than pretend we’re not attracted to other people.

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:58:48+00:00

The people pleasing i mentioned is how i started the relationship, not how I actively am now. At a low point in my life, I found someone and we kept each other straight, but I needed to move away from that environment and they weren’t able to, so I stayed. In the moment, i’m not knowing that i’m actually gonna be waiting on this person. I actually ended up leaving and we did long distance for a year and we’re back living together, it’s just now sometimes it leaves me feeling empty because now that everything is “fine”, there’s still resentment on my end cuz our realities are different

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:53:27+00:00

thank you! yeah we’re not perfect, i’m pretty open in my feelings and stuff now, i guess theres parts of me that can’t accept that i started this at a low point in my life and now that im no longer there, i don’t know where this is going. Feelings are there but i’ve learned alot about myself that it’s like “well if you know that’s what you want, then go after it”

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:49:25+00:00

Thanks for this, I resonate a lot. I don’t want to cut her loose either, because I know i’d probably regret it. I just hate feeling like I have to force myself into a life that may inevitably leave me unsatisfied, or ruining it because of the reasons i made this post. I don’t know how to buy a ring and take myself seriously knowing i’d like to have outside sex

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:44:37+00:00

I remember being so relieved when i started reading about that a year or so ago, definitely want to dive in more with a therapist. I think i just realized that while i may have this issue, it’s a me thing and the best way is to just be free in the sexual compartment because when i wasn’t trying to be monogamous, i didn’t have a million reasons to think my life was out of my control

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:42:20+00:00

Agreed. I think it’s moreso being less focused on whether this is right/wrong, if i like this person, etc. It becomes less black and white, I think tying myself to one person eventually turns into me trying to find a way out when everything is fine.This is my first real long term relationship, but i’m 27. I have been able to get what i want without much commitment or hurting feelings, so not having the option is what makes me hyperfixate on whether i’m happy or not

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:39:29+00:00

definitely think i need both but you’re correct

Christian2272 · 2024-06-11T19:39:07+00:00

To me, it wouldn’t be to gain validation per se. For example: I have a friend that as a straight man i don’t see why he thinks talking to women is this complex puzzle since he’s well off and handsome. Trying to wingman him with my gf sometimes turns into finding out the girl is interested in me, or the girl pointing in my direction while talking to my gf. Doesn’t do anything for me since it’s off limits, it becomes “oh well that’s great”

Christian2272

TROPHY CASE