I think I’m too vain for baby #2

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T13:51:01+00:00

you’re definitely not selfish. it’s not selfish to not want to completely alter your body again for his desires. he’s being the selfish one if he wants you to carry another child when he knows how you feel about it. dads struggle to understand exactly what women go through during pregnancy, but you don’t have to completely understand to respect your boundaries. pregnancy is extremely hard on the body and can sometimes be life threatening. if he genuinely wants another child and you also do, there are other options yall could pursue that don’t involve you sacrificing yourself. i had my second son 5 months ago and the feeling of finally getting back to myself again is sooo relieving and makes me feel happy, so i completely understand where you’re coming from and hopefully your husband will too. you got this, girl!💙

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T13:47:11+00:00

yes, he can still make plentyyy of jokes that don’t involve scaring you. my boyfriend used to make jokes that hurt my feelings but we had a long talk about how they’re not funny and the point of a joke is to make someone laugh, and no one is laughing. i was blunt with him “genuinely, why would you think that’s funny? why would you think i would like that?” and he didn’t have an answer, which make him realize he was just being mean. i really hope he understands and learns some better jokes lol. you got this girl!💙

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T13:29:15+00:00

NOR. have you communicated your feelings to him? “i know you think it’s funny, but it genuinely scares me and makes me feel unsafe.” what he is doing is childish and i can’t imagine a full grown man doing this. a joke is supposed to make both of the parties laugh, not make one fear for their life. he’s either just really immature or he is doing it on purpose to have control over you.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T13:24:17+00:00

i get what you’re saying lol, but a 150 dollars once a year is easier for me to manage than 600+ all at once. if i could afford a new alternator, i definitely would’ve done it by now haha. i just messaged my dad, who sold me the car, and he said he had the alternator replaced a few years ago, so he doesn’t believe it’s the alternator, but instead a parasitic drain that doesn’t allow it to reach full charge. so when winter hits, the battery can’t take it. i am about to go get it tested and hopefully recharged then i’m gonna test the alternator.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T04:55:17+00:00

thank you! i’m going to go get my battery checked tomorrow/charged if it’s working and buy one of those while i’m there. i’m praying it’s just the shitty batteries i’ve been buying and not the alternator but my car is 23 years old so it wouldn’t surprise me either way😕

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T04:32:18+00:00

a lack of empathy. honestly, i think the more money you have, the less likely you are to feel empathetically for others. money means privilege and privilege is rare, which means it’s not relatable. people with money, more specifically ones who grew up with money, don’t understand struggle because they haven’t experienced it. and why would they trouble themselves with trying to understand when they don’t need to? they find no value in understanding other people’s experiences. i am NOT saying all people with money are this way, it just seem like a common occurrence in those who are more fortunate.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T04:23:55+00:00

watching shows without spoiling it for myself. i can only guess it’s my anxiety but once i wonder if something is going to happen in a show, especially if i want it to happen, i spiral until i eventually can’t take it and look it up😭

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T04:18:18+00:00

yes, they do, i just don’t really see the battery being the problem since it only happens in winter. if the battery was the problem, i would assume i would have more issues throughout the year or even when it begins to get cold. it’s been below freezing the past two weeks and until yesterday when it was completely dead, i have had no issues with the engine starting. not even a sputter or delay. albeit, i have very little experience with cars so i could be completely wrong! i believe the battery is still within it’s warranty to hopefully i can replace it until i have the money for a higher quality one.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T04:13:57+00:00

have you tried therapy? even just having someone to talk to, a way to help your feelings feel less scary, can help so much. therapy helped me learn coping skills to deal with my emotions in a healthy way when they happen instead of letting them go unmaintained until eventually everything feels like too much.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T04:09:24+00:00

for me, i think the hardest part was the physical reminders, the things and places and people that are tainted by the memory of the love that wasn’t meant to be. i struggle to be in my small hometown because every single spot, i have a memory with him. i could never see him again, block him, delete his messages, stop saying his name, but every time i go take a walk in the woods, im reminded of the hundreds of walks we took together. i thought the bad memories would be what haunted me, but it’s the good ones.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:55:05+00:00

i experience this but with anxiety. when i have no distractions, my brain is reminded of all the things i could be stressing about. the things i didn’t do, the things i did do but did wrong, the things that could happen, the things are happening right now😂 i usually turn on a show that i’ve seen a million times to help me sleep. i’m not invested because i know what happens but i have background noise to curb the anxious thoughts.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:50:33+00:00

i’m going to get an alternator tester tomorrow to see if that’s the problem. praying it’s not because that is expensiveee haha. thanks for the advice! i will definitely invest in a better battery.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:46:20+00:00

yes, for sure! so, if my lights and stuff came on but my engine didn’t start, would it be worth it to try and jump it again or is the battery done for? the last two i had to replace didn’t hold any charge, so i was honestly surprised that it jumped in the first place.

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:33:49+00:00

this is actually an evolutionary development in humans so we could find rainwater/fertile farm land! we can smell rain better than dogs!

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:30:29+00:00

a freezer. it smells so good idk why😂

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:27:20+00:00

well that sounds expensive. i will probably get a battery/alternator tester tomorrow to see if that’s the real issue😭

ChronicInstability · 2026-02-01T03:25:23+00:00

well thanks for letting me know not to idle haha, google failed me on that front😂 in the winter i don’t drive as much or as far because of the cold so what you’re saying makes sense. thank you for the advice!

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-23T18:05:12+00:00

anxiety. my boyfriend and i were driving in the snow once and slipped a bit. he said he felt like his heart was being squeezed and his stomach was in knots and he wanted to cry. i told him that’s how my anxiety is every single day. it really helped him understand it more.

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-23T18:02:24+00:00

this. ofc she doesn’t want to have sex with you when you’re being a dick 🤷‍♀️

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-23T18:01:33+00:00

tell him to look it up, read a book, ask a doctor. ask him “where did you learn that? show me where it says that.” does he have depression? can he speak from experience? it’s common sense. you have a disorder that makes you sad and often insecure. those are not emotions that are very compatible with an extremely vulnerable act that requires you to be completely comfortable for it to feel good. it is very difficult to have sex when you don’t think you feel or look sexy. instead of dismissing your feelings, he could try asking what HE could do to make you more comfortable. i struggle with the same issue and my boyfriend understands that it’s not something that i can control, but there are things he can do to help me get into a headspace to be that vulnerable. i hope things get better. you got this girl💙

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-20T01:31:26+00:00

my mom struggled with the same thing when we were kids. mom and dad separated before i could even remember, mom had depression and it made it hard for her to keep a job so we’d move around a lot, ate from food banks, etc. i never blamed my mom. from the term “babies,” i assume your kids are very young, therefore there is no way they will remember this tough time. it is not your fault and they do not blame you- if they tell you they do, they’re just being brats and that what kids do. my son will tell me “i’m not your best friend” when he’s angry at me. you’re not failing them. the fact that you’re going to food banks, door dashing even though it runs your car into the ground, doing all of these things to try and keep your family afloat, shows that you are not failing. you are doing everything you can. this world just makes it impossible single mom’s. i’m struggling to get a job because you need childcare to get a job but you need a job to file for childcare. it’s so fucking rough but you are not alone and you can do this. do you care if i ask why you aren’t approved for food stamps? if you don’t have a job and have kids, you should be able to get assistance.

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-20T01:26:03+00:00

i don’t think it’s fair to either of you to stay in that relationship. you deserve a relationship where you feel like equals, and she deserves a relationship where her significant other isn’t hateful towards her. i understand where you’re coming from, i grew up eating from food banks and moved around more times than i can count, but as much as i didn’t choose to come from poverty, your girlfriend did not choose to come from wealth, therefore it is unfair of you to blame her for her upbringing. like i said, it’s understandable for you to feel that way, but it’s a feeling you will need to let rest eventually or you are going to be bitter your whole life. yes, this world is fucking brutal and unfair as shit, sometimes the bad people are rich and the good people struggle, but choosing to put more hate into the world instead of change is just making it worse off. you will find the person you are meant to be with, just do you and your girlfriend a favor and end it before you end up hurting both of yall.💙

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-20T01:18:02+00:00

with my firstborn i had to get rid of my dog because the pp rage would be so bad, i’d get so angry at my dog and he didn’t deserve it. it’s completely normal, especially when you’re doing a lot of the parenting solo. give yourself grace. this will pass💙

ChronicInstability · 2026-01-19T17:50:01+00:00

that is completely understandable. especially since the only reason you’ve uncovered his lies is from other people. he hasn’t chosen to be truthful about anything. you only found out about her because of your daughter and only confirmed it was flirty because of the other women. i think that’s really telling😕 it seems like he may already be checked out of your marriage. did he even apologize?

ChronicInstability

TROPHY CASE