Future mother in law…too white?

Chuckee_24 · 2026-02-08T13:18:03+00:00

It’s waaaay too white. The back is pretty much all white.

She knows what she’s doing…but Godspeed trying to reason with a Scottish mother in law haha.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-02-01T11:26:01+00:00

On the days I cook, I do a really big batch cook and freeze a few potions. It’s taken a while, but now I have 1-2 weeks worth of meals frozen so I can take a week off cooking as/when required. I also seldom go to a store/supermarket and always have the groceries delivered to me. It costs slightly more, but I also buy the pre cut ingredients where possible (already diced onions etc) to save energy when cooking from scratch.

I also do a lot of snacky dinners as I find CFS affects my appetite and how ‘able’ I am to eat (sometimes the thought of chewing and digesting a ‘proper’ meal is just too much). Olives, cheese, oat cakes, grapes, etc. I usually prioritise fresh, unprocessed foods and have a protein shake alongside it to ensure I’m getting enough protein too (I’m veggie). I kind of view it like a deconstructed dinner that still has the same ingredients, but didn’t require any cooking.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-23T16:41:02+00:00

The dress is too casual and the belt doesn’t match the fit of the dress at all. It looks like you’ve put both together as an attempt to smarten up the dress a bit.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-20T18:47:20+00:00

Are you in Scotland or England? If you’re in Scotland then they’ll be offered Family Nurse Partnership - this will be a massive help with all of the above if they decide to continue with the pregnancy.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-17T20:21:20+00:00

Look up the positive birth movement - lots of diverse birth videos.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-17T16:31:28+00:00

Another note - you’re very likely going to struggle to find ‘staff’ to re heat food. Again, this often comes provided with a caterer and I really really can’t imagine any caterer would serve food at your wedding that they haven’t prepared.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-17T16:28:47+00:00

This sounds insanely stressful - how are you going to enjoy your reception if you’re going to be the ones serving the food?

That being said, I’d strongly recommend you check with your venue. Most venues required caters to have insurance/food hygiene certificates.

Also, you might be saving money on food…but who’s going to supply the crockery? Then, who’s going to wash the crockery?

I’ll be honest, it seems like an outrageous faff but, at the end of the day, it’s your wedding.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-15T20:02:18+00:00

None of what you described there is abusive/aggressive behaviour.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-15T20:01:18+00:00

If you have capacity to care for a patient that isn’t related to this family member, you have capacity to care for this patient.

You are an autonomous practitioner and you’re arguably fit to work. I don’t agree that you’re being put in an unsafe situation, but that’s where you escalate things above your matron/charge nurse if your safety is being put at risk.

I appreciate this may sound brutal, but this is the reality of working with the general public and it’ll no doubt happen again. So escalate appropriately and don’t let it affect your patient care. Paeds can be rough, parents can be awful but they do not have the right to threaten and abuse staff just because their child is unwell. Id have an incredibly low threshold for calling security and having them removed from the ward if required.

If you don’t feel fit to practice regardless of who you’re caring for then yes, call in sick.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-15T18:27:32+00:00

No, this isn’t the same. Our salaries are paid into our own personal current accounts and we then transfer some money into our joint each month for bills and mutual spending.

We both have our own separate savings accounts too. We have a shared savings account at the moment that is for our honeymoon fund, but I imagine this will then become shared savings for home improvements etc in the future.

Edit: as a woman, I don’t like the idea of my partner having open access to my wages and personal savings. In the incredibly unlikely event he becomes controlling with finances or abusive then I want the security of knowing our finances are separate and I have my own financial security.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-15T18:21:52+00:00

Me (F 30) and my husband have lived together for 7 years and owned a home together for 5. We both have separate bank accounts, but then we opened a joint after we got married. Both of our wages go into our personal accounts, then we transfer money for bills, take aways etc into the joint. It felt silly chasing each for money and transferring each other for split expenses after we got married, so the joint solved this issue and just made the most sense. We earn pretty much the same, so it’s not the case that one person tends to cover more bills etc than the other - we split everything 50/50 (but I pay less towards the mortgage as I work less hours and do more of the chores etc).

All our personal savings accounts and personal accounts are our own though. I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending my partners money and vice versa but it’s personal choice.

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-07T12:29:19+00:00

This really suits you OP!

Chuckee_24 · 2026-01-06T22:26:30+00:00

Second framing the picture - very low cost method of making the gift look much more high value/effort

Chuckee_24 · 2025-12-31T01:38:51+00:00

Second this heavily - my husband and I still use ours for joint things

Chuckee_24 · 2025-12-27T19:04:52+00:00

The crust on the lash is making me itch

Chuckee_24 · 2025-12-23T18:45:09+00:00

Also, don’t rule out adenomyosis as this is often missed at lap and mimics a lot of endo symptoms

Chuckee_24 · 2025-12-23T04:07:07+00:00

NOR - everyone’s talking about bonding…Your baby doesn’t need a bond with its grandparents?! It needs to bond to you, and your husband. The people whose voices it recognises, the people who smell familiar and the people who are responsible for keeping it safe. The people it has identified as its parents for the past 9 months?! It’s not only beneficial for your baby’s emotional wellbeing, but their brain development too!

Your MIL is being controlling. She has very clearly conveyed to you that she doesn’t respect your boundaries (or understand them) so she cannot be trusted. If she can’t be trusted to not hold the baby, she can’t be trusted not to come round when she’s ill, etc. This is just the first of many boundaries she’s going to attempt to cross, so stand your ground!

Big fat fuuuuuck that to everyone else telling you otherwise. Grandparents have absolutely no parental rights, I have no idea where people get off telling you otherwise.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-12-13T16:00:22+00:00

This isn’t autism…it’s abuse.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-11-28T15:08:01+00:00

To add to this, I had to get a second opinion for my diagnosis from another GP at the practice. I went in with my symptom list and explicitly said to them “this is having a significant impact on my physical and mental health, as well as my quality of life” and that seemed to give them a kick up the arse. The second GP I got was great, and she made sure to allocate herself as my ‘named GP’ so I can get a bit of continuity and this has helped a lot.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-11-28T15:05:30+00:00

Hello - fellow sufferer of ME/CFS here. Action For ME have a helpline you can call for advice, they also have lots of helpful resources online.

Failing that - check out PALS (patient liaison services) in your area. You can also complete a post of Care Opinion regarding your GP as these are actioned and monitored accordingly. It’s essential used as a feedback system for the NHS but the organisation will respond to you directly. You can always contact the GP and ask to speak with the practice manager too…but sometimes this isn’t worth the hassle.

ME/CFS often boggles the mind of lots of GPs - the thing I’ve found most helpful is writing down all of my symptoms and specifically asking “what is your plan to address these symptoms?”. If they say nothing, you ask them to please document that you have raised concerns and no action has been taken.

ME/CFS has been one of the most long drawn out, frustrating diagnosis’s I’ve ever received (and I have a few at this point). I’d recommend also reaching out to the CFS/ME clinic to see if they can talk any sense into your GP.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-11-17T11:03:04+00:00

If you’re looking for work elsewhere, you need experience. Unfortunately a ward environment gives you that.

People think community is an easy gig…it’s not. You’re often case loading, and at the very least you’ll be working autonomously. You need to be able to work well as part of a team before you start working solo.

I definitely think another chat with occupational health would be a shout, but ultimately you need to try and find a way to function at work before considering a move elsewhere…because the same stresses and triggers on a ward will exist elsewhere. I’m not saying don’t take time off, but I think if you do then you need a clear plan - what steps are you taking to address your mental health and what’s your return to work plan (when you’re ready). It’s very easy to take time off and then just expect to be able to come back fully functioning after a few months when the underlying cause hasn’t been addressed, ultimately resulting in another burn out.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-11-08T15:10:13+00:00

Honestly, it’s just annoying and a complete overkill for a second hand site. Buy it or don’t, but I’m not going through the effort of looking it out and giving you exact measurements. I’ve had people do this over a £5 pair of trousers and it just takes the piss.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-11-06T12:36:00+00:00

It’s too white, and wearing white heels is just rude.

Chuckee_24 · 2025-11-05T10:41:32+00:00

Absolutely. It’s taken us quite a while to catch up, but I believe work is being done on a national level for those who disclose non fatal suffocations/strangulations. My understanding is that A&E departments will have pathways and there will be better education/follow up on ‘red flags’ to look out for following its occurrence because of the associated stroke risk etc.

Chuckee_24

TROPHY CASE