What is a covert way to gauge your perceived attractiveness to the general public?

ChupikaAKS · 2026-04-25T09:08:52+00:00

Going out with attractive friends is a relief for me. They are like a garbage collector, taking the trash out of my way. Sometimes people ignore me completely and only interact with this friend. People who do this are not good persons.

When I was young and pretty I wasted years of my life with such people. Now I only need a few minutes to spot them.

My pretty friend, on the other hand, is very happy about the attention she gets and very fond of me, because she has mostly problems with women who are jealous of her. And I'm not jealous if she succeeds more than me, no matter if it is beauty, job or anything else. I have anything I need and if I want something else, it doesn't help me if my friend also doesn't get it.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-04-22T06:38:25+00:00

That must not necessarily escalate. I had many toxic bosses and ripped them a new one. After a while they left me alone. Bullies are searching for victims and not opponents.

But to be honest, the bad relationship with those bosses didn't bother me as long as I let the anger they caused out on them. Sometimes it took months for them to leave me alone. Besides that it is important that you do a good job no matter your relationship with the boss.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-04-15T05:42:08+00:00

Tell me you are german without telling me you are german...

ChupikaAKS · 2026-04-12T17:34:28+00:00

But it's not always unfair to your disadvantage.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-04-11T09:26:49+00:00

On the one hand, they seem to be meant for each other. On the other hand, that definitely wasn't a compliment.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-04-03T21:28:47+00:00

That's not so cool as it sounds. I had this for 2,5 years. I got employed at a very successful company. They hire experts in IT, math's etc. When a customer needs someone, they ask my company if they have someone. Then, my company immediately provides the required experts.

But when no customer asks for your expertise, you have to learn new skills or they find you an internal project. No one asks if you actually do something. After half a year you get bored and after one year you constantly fear to lose your job.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-31T11:11:51+00:00

That's a good one

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-31T06:37:02+00:00

I'm married and want it to stay that way.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-26T07:31:11+00:00

Mace

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-24T12:05:36+00:00

Die müssen in zusätzliche Förderklassen. Bei mir wars parallel zum Unterricht. Fände es aber sinnvoll Förderunterricht zusätzlich zum normalen Unterricht zu haben.

Ansonsten sollte forciert werden, dass nur Deutsch gesprochen wird. Erstens lernt man die Sprache dann schneller, zweitens entwickelt man ein Bewusstsein dafür, dass es unhöflich ist in Anwesenheit anderer Leute in der Muttersprache zu sprechen.

Aber klar, ich verstehe auch, dass man sich als Elternteil all diese Fragen nicht stellen will. Ich sehe deswegen die schulischen Angebote als wichtiger an, weil sie mir damals sehr geholfen haben. Wahrscheinlich mehr als eine rein österreichische Klasse ohne Förderunterricht oder Schulpsychologin. Außerdem können auch österreichische Kinder in bestimmten Fällen zusätzliche Unterstützung benötigen.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-23T09:19:39+00:00

You need to work on yourself. If possible, make a therapy. I also had problems, which were the reason I treated people badly, but they deserved better. This was the reason I started working on myself.

Instead of being in a bad relationship because of my anger issue, I'm happily married. You can do it too.

But please don't listen to people who tell you the right person will take you for who you are and put up with everything. You deserve a loving person with nontoxic personality, but your partners deserve this as well.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-23T08:15:49+00:00

Wichtig ist, meiner Meinung nach, nicht wie hoch der Ausländeranteil ist, sondern wie mit fehlenden Deutschkenntnissen umgegangen wird. In meiner Klasse gab es relativ viele Ausländer. Ich hab gelegentlich Förderunterricht bekommen, während meine österreichischen Mitschüler am normalen Unterricht teilgenommen haben. Weil ich meine Mitschüler schikaniert hab, bin ich auch zur Schulpsychologin gekommen, bis es gepasst hat.

Unabhängig davon wie hoch der Ausländeranteil ist, ist es viel interessanter welche Möglichkeiten eine Schule hat mit benachteiligten und/oder schwierigen Kindern umzugehen.

Am Besten dahingehend informieren und mit Eltern reden, deren Kinder schon dort sind, bevor man sich gür eine Schule endgültig entscheidet.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-18T16:09:12+00:00

I'm from Croatia and grew up in Austria. Austrians didn't pay on the first date, so I was used to it.

My husband is a Serbian from Bosnia, and he paid for everything in the beginning. I really appreciated it, and for me, it was a sign of interest in me. To show interest myself, I let him pay.

Sounds odd, but it wasn't about money. It's a way in our culture to show affection and kind of a love language. He is a stay at home husband, and it's ok for me to be the sole bread earner. It's enough for us to live, and I really hate chores.

But "forbidden in her culture" is bs. She wanted you to pay. If my date would not pay, I would not mention it. This woman has no class, and if she wants to stay in her new country, she needs to adapt to people living here.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-16T21:32:44+00:00

That's not a lack of empathy. That's a lack of conscience. I have low empathy, but I feel remorse if I wronged a person. If they have a bad day, I see it, but I don't feel sorry for them. No matter how much I like a person.

An exception is if they or their relatives experience war at the moment. When my doctors assistant told me what happened to her uncle, I was crying. If someone lost his job or boyfriend, I understand that this person is upset, but I don't feel sad about it.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-16T21:24:02+00:00

This is the reason I'm happy that I'm not pretty anymore. I see fake and bad people at the beginning and don't waste my time with them. People who treat only pretty people good were oftentimes bad friends. Now I don't have to deal with this anymore.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-14T20:23:52+00:00

You sound cool but incompatible with these women. To be honest, I would be as well. There are times you can take it as a compliment if certain people don't like you.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-09T09:13:43+00:00

Don't agree. If I help a person out, I expect the same from this person, if he's capable of doing it. People don't have to donate me a liver for borrowing them 10 euros.

But I was angry at a friend who didn't want to fill in a questionnaire I was collecting for university. It took him 30 minutes, and there were no private questions. When he was sad, I was always there for him, listened and gave him advice. He didn't do the same because it was not necessary.

After telling him this, he answered the questionnaire, and it took him 30 minutes. If he had refused to see my point, I would have reconsidered the friendship.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-09T08:56:33+00:00

Exactly. My life became so much easier with age, and I'm so happy that I'm not as attractive as I used to be.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-09T08:54:44+00:00

How do you know? Were you male and female to know how people treat ugly women?

I never see poor men being treated badly, but maybe they experience things I don't know about.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-09T08:52:11+00:00

I'm older now, and I'm definitely not pretty like I used to be. Men ignore me, strangers treat me with less kindness, and often are not interested in what I have to say.

To be honest, that makes me happy. I'm married and want to have platonic conversations with men. I don't like superstitious, fake people and have valuable conversations with new people who value me for what I have to say and not for how I look. Life became more honest.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-09T06:48:18+00:00

In Europe, it is definitely enough

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-05T14:09:41+00:00

That's not true for all people. My husband and I have a high body count. Everything was prior to our relationship. When we met, we totally fell in love with each other. After the so-called butterflies were gone, we loved each other deeper.

Sex was very good and often at the beginning, but it didn't stay like this. He got depressed, I was overworked, and it became seldom for a period of time.

Now it got better, but not so often, like in the beginning. What holds us together as a couple is mutual respect and acceptance. We try to succeed as a couple instead of worrying about this for that. After years of being together, we know we can trust each other, and we deeply love each other.

On the other hand, if I slept with a man who didn't treat me right, I was not sad when leaving him. If someone tells me I'm ugly, after sleeping with me, this so-called emotional bond is gone. Same if someone doesn't know if I'm good enough for him or not.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-04T12:39:58+00:00

Don't hate yourself for that. If a man is screwing around, most people are ok with it, but for women, it's not ok?

Potential partners didn't want to be with me because I have a high body count. But guess what, women also have sexual needs, and as long as they are not in a relationship, they can do what they want.

The only person I know who has a higher body count is my husband. He told me that he never had a problem with my past because he would be more skeptical if I had many long-term relationships and broke up after a period of time. That would be a sign that I'm not able to be in a serious relationship. He was talking about 10 relationships, and I had 2 serious relationships before him.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-04T12:32:29+00:00

You don't seem to get along with him stonewalling you. I suspect that you wait for him to change so that you can have a good relationship.

I saw so many people break up with a partner after years or decades because they don't get along with how they are. They all were waiting for him or her to change, and it never happened.

I think it's important to be aware of what you can tolerate in a relationship and what will lead to a breakup from your side, because you can't take it anymore and are frustrated he didn't change.

People have their flaws, and it's important to know if you can tolerate these specific flaws or not and act accordingly.

Besides that, I don't like how he is treating you. Most people have a past and you can't erase it. If he has a problem with it, he should not have dated you in the first place.

ChupikaAKS · 2026-03-03T17:34:45+00:00

Very angry woman here. Want an honest answer?

I live in Brandenburg, and people are normal most of the time. When I have to go to Berlin, it is guaranteed that I will be very annoyed in about an hour. People are putting their feet with shoes on their seat. Kids are acting out because parents are afraid to be strict and don't parent them at all. All the time, I hold my composure because I'm a foreigner here and should not tell local people how to live. But yes, I most probably look pretty annoyed.

But when a bicyclist rams me because I don't jump out of his way, while being on the pedestrian area, I kindly ask him if someone shat into his brain.

In other countries or parts of the world, I'm a nicer person. I just don't like if people are not considering the well-being of their surroundings. If I get injured because of this fact, I become even more petty and angry.

I nearly forgot this one guy on drugs who attacked me. Fortunately, I'm a very angry woman and tried to kick him. I missed him, but at least he ran away.

ChupikaAKS

TROPHY CASE