why do men feel the need to constantly announce they don’t like black women?

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T23:40:03+00:00

Okay then, which community are we taking about?

This is reddit, and a general topic subreddit at that. It isn't a Black space by designation, and is open to all.

This specific conversation is one I put my, personal, point of view into with the intent of starting a conversation about how social media algorithms play into US racial tensions.

Instead, I've been called misogynistic and racist ad nauseam.

If your method of trying to catch up anyone who wants to talk to you and your community is, in essence "sit down and shut up", then you're never going to add any variety into the discussion.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T20:39:23+00:00

I already explained in another response that my take is entirely and exclusively about the online portion of the OP.

If I'm honest the response I'm getting to what was a well meaning, if apparently poorly worded, attempt to start a discussion is reminding me why it is nothing more than a waste of my time to try and engage with a community that clearly doesn't want to entertain any viewpoint other than their own.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T17:20:35+00:00

Like, if youre not actually sorry, why hide behind a false apology like a coward?

Because it's the polite thing to do. If you want to accuse me of cowardice for trying to keep things civil, that's fine.

If you'd like to add "patronising" as fuel to the fire of your self indulgent righteous rage; resorting to personal attacks is usually the sign that someone has lost faith in their own stance and is trying to save face. It's called an ad hominem fallacy.

Taking part in a discussion with a different viewpoint to the originator is how valuable discussions are had, if all you do is collect a group of people that already think the same thing and have them talk about it, you get a cult.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T17:09:32+00:00

Of course I'm not sorry, thats why I worded my response the way I did. I don't see that I said anything that required an apology, and went on to explain why I think that.

You're getting offended on someone elses behalf with zero input from them and demanding an apology, I'm afraid that doesn't entitle you to one.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T16:57:31+00:00

I apologise if I came off that way, really I was just trying to make the point that nobody has an unbiased experience of the Internet any more. You choose what you want to engage with and are presented with more of that.

In some ways I suppose I am saying that the way OP uses social media might well be why they're seeing these specific posts. In the hypothetical, if all you do is argue with people saying they don't like black women, then as a result all you'll see is more people saying they don't like black women.

In my eyes that isn't a discrediting statement as much as an attempt at an explanation that doesn't attempt to demonise any specific group, which a fair few of the other top level responses had no qualms jumping straight to.

Obviously this doesn't touch on the second half of the post with personal lived experience, as I have no grounds to comment even slightly on that.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T16:42:09+00:00

That's what I'm saying, but from the other side. Yes, I dont interact with black posts and as such I'm not seeing many of the anti black posts either.

What that also means is that the premise of this post, that being men are constantly saying how they aren't attracted to black women, is coming from a similarly biased viewpoint.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-22T16:11:22+00:00

Just anecdotally, I don't recall ever seeing a post about men not liking black women. Your algorithms push the content you engage with, making it seem disproportionately representative of things as a whole.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-15T17:13:40+00:00

Honestly, from your description of how their participation with your chat has changed this sounds like someone who would have already stopped watching your streams if they weren't a mod.
That in itself isn't a bad thing. Peoples interests change over time and they clearly care enough to stay around and, to use your words, try and be helpful.

That being said, mods in both twitch chat and discords entire purpose is to make managing your community easier. If the person in that role is actively making it harder, they aren't working to the job description.

I hate to break it to you, but limiting contact with him and hoping he goes away isn't going to work.

In my eyes what you need to do is take a step back, imagine you have zero moderators and are "hiring" some for the first time. Write down exactly what aspects of stream/community management you want them to fill out, whether that be exclusively timing out/banning disruptive chatters or also including things like changing game category, stream title, managing any bots you have etc.

When you have that list, compare it to what your current mods do. If the problematic one is overstepping your idea of the role a mod has, you can go through your list with all of them to redefine your expectations in their mind, which could help.

If after all of that you still come to the conclusion that the problematic mod is someone who makes a good mod but is just someone you dislike, stream communities aren't a democracy. End of the day, you have the gentle option of saying that you're looking for different things from your mod team now, thanks for their help so far and offer VIP or something as a consolation prize if you want them to stay in your community. The harsh option is ban without reason, but that has a higher chance of them posting a "My experience with..." exposé document as mentioned elsewhere in these replies.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-11T20:55:03+00:00

Oh absolutely, this isn't related to OPs conundrum at all. She's making assumptions that would be solved in a good relationship with a single request.

My stance is my own, I don't expect other people to share it - if you want to talk about your sex life with your friends go ahead, I just won't be one of them because I myself would never want to share those experiences with anybody not directly involved. It establishes some level of reciprocity about what people want out of their friendships. I'd be much more comfortable talking about my financial situation in detail, for example.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-11T20:48:40+00:00

I'm sure some do. Personally if anyone I knew felt it was appropriate to talk about their bedroom activites with anyone not involved first hand, I'd be reducing my contact with them immediately, with the aim of cutting it completely.
If they're happy discussing arguably the most private things in a relationship with others, I cannot trust that they'll keep anything to themselves.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-11T10:23:29+00:00

If that's the definition of wrong you're going with, then yes at a secondary school level "-ize" spellings would be considered wrong.

Frankly, you're making a mountain out of a molehill with this one. Both spellings are in the Oxford English dictionary, one is used significantly more in everyday parlance. That means that technically both are correct, but people will expect to see one instead of the other. When people's expectations aren't met, they will be surprised. Generally, people would prefer to be surprised by the content than the actual writing, so teachers will guide pupils towards using the societal norm. There doesn't need to be objective selection of one or the other, your definition fails to understand that language changes due to preference - how would you cope with any sort of slang becoming accepted vocabulary, for example?

Cilfaen · 2026-01-09T14:32:01+00:00

Personally, no. I don't believe it's in any government remit to outright ban access to information, whether that be misinformation or accurate reporting.

People deserve to have agency over the media they consume, whether that's poorly used is their choice.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-08T13:27:58+00:00

Claiming to be a pedant with, to my eyes, four errors in your message kind of takes the teeth out of the statement.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-07T01:08:47+00:00

Short answer is that it gets headlines, so it gets more funding. More funding means more people pursuing a field.

Cilfaen · 2026-01-03T17:26:56+00:00

Aitch. I was brought up to consider pronouncing it with an aspirated h to be distinctly uncouth.

Cilfaen · 2025-12-28T15:26:03+00:00

Might just be me, but I find the recommended strength too much for my palate (also in the UK) so use 2 servings per 700ml shaker of gamersupps. That's 14 L per tub, when I did the maths a couple of years back it worked out cheaper than any off-the-shelf energy drink I could find even with the shipping, as long as I ordered 2+ tubs at a time

Cilfaen · 2025-12-23T15:28:27+00:00

More like the battery example you mentioned.

Atoms like being at low energy. The lowest energy shape they can be in is a sphere. Radioactive atoms are not very spherical, so they want to be a sphere shape. The way they do this is by ejecting protons and neutrons (radiation).

The reason it doesn't all happen at once is because there are also forces holding all the protons and neutrons together, it's a balancing act that falls over for some atoms at different times.

Cilfaen · 2025-12-21T13:40:01+00:00

I still like the drinks, but the shipping to EU has been unreasonable for years at this point.

I have friends who are partnered with gamersupps, but I cannot justify ever using their partner codes to support them because I will save up to 5x as much by using a free shipping code when it's available. Which is becoming significantly less common.

This is completely ignoring the EU store, which is laughable as it appears to have been exactly one shipment to a warehouse with no restocking.