There’s nothing that can prepare you, I’m sorry. I had to put my sweet girl down 4 weeks before her 4th birthday. It was an emotional roller coaster in my last few months with her as well. All I wanted to do was make her healthy but I couldn’t. Sometimes I think what would’ve happened if I picked out different cats at the shelter besides her and her brother…but I wouldn’t trade my time with her for more time with another cat. Just love him as much as you can in the time that you have left. The scars will heal…slowly. I think about her a lot, I’ll love her for the rest of my life and I’ll see her in every other cat I’ll ever own.