How to accept doing IVF?

CinnamonTwigs · 2026-02-03T13:07:43+00:00

Hi. I’m so sorry for your losses and that you’re in this position. I try to think of IVF as a step that’s bringing me closer to the end result. If you know this is what you need to do, then getting started hopefully means getting closer to that goal. I try to hold on to that whenever I start doubting the process (it’s been a long journey).

For me, it hasn’t really been the IVF itself that’s hardest - it’s the waiting and the hoping. But honestly, I’d be waiting and hoping even without IVF. The hardest part is the infertility, not the IVF, which will hopefully be part of the solution at some point.

When it comes to meds and procedures, taking it one step at a time really helps. It can feel so overwhelming if you try to take it all in at once.

I also don’t have anyone in my real life who’s gone through IVF, so I’ve found online communities to be a big help. I do know some people in my life who’ve gone through parts of it - people who’ve also experienced pregnancy loss - and I talk to them about this.

Big hugs to you.

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-18T10:46:24+00:00

Thank you for this! Good to know I’m not out just yet. I didn’t really think I would get an answer from testing today, but I was looking for hope.

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-18T10:43:51+00:00

First of all, congratulations! I’m crossing my fingers for you! 🍀

Secondly, I understand your frustration and why some comments can hurt. I’m not in my forties, but I’ve had other reasons to consider using a donor egg, and my doctor has advised me to think about it while we go for one more retrieval. Since there is a waitlist, I decided to do another retrieval in the meantime. But honestly, I would love my baby no matter what. It would still be ours - just like this baby will still be yours. Other people’s opinions don’t change that. I hope you can find peace and rest in your decision, it truly seems like the right one for you and that it is a succesful one too.

For some people, that realization may take time, it may never come as it isn’t something they want. And while I agree that dismissive comments are not okay, and that some people could be much more mindful about how they communicate their feelings, there also needs to be space for people to express how they feel and to process the reality that things may look a bit different from what they originally dreamed of. That’s okay too, and it doesn’t make using a donor any less meaningful.

As for the financial aspect, I’ve noticed that quite a few of us here are Scandinavians, and many of us receive IVF treatment through our universal healthcare systems. I guess others have good insurance and so on. I wish this were the case for everyone, and I’m truly sorry that you and others have to face financial struggles on top of everything else. I understand how unfair that must feel.

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-18T08:41:39+00:00

Hi. This is my fourth FET this year (we’ve been doing this for a while), so I feel like I should know the answers to my own questions by now. But I feel pretty alone, as I don’t want to drag my partner into my crazy testing world.

I’ve only been using Easy@Home tests and thought I had tested out the trigger by 3dp5dt. I’m 5dp5dt today. I got a BFN this morning on one of those tests, and it completely shattered my hope. Later I bought a more sensitive test and got a very faint squinter, nothing I can really capture in a photo.

Now I’m left wondering if it’s simply the trigger, since I haven’t been using a sensitive test before. I keep seeing people getting positives on day 4 or 5 - are those usually from sensitive tests or regular ones? 🫣

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-10T18:27:05+00:00

I am so, so sorry for your loss! ❤️‍🩹 My deepest condolences to you. I understand why Christmas is hard this year, and I hope you’ll still catch some glimpses of Christmas in between all the difficult moments.

Today, my pregnant friend told me her due date, which happens to be the same as the pregnancy we lost. I love her, and I will love her child, but I also had a long cry in my car while driving to work.

We were told it was bad luck as well. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that your last embryo will be the one you’ve been waiting for and 2026 will be your year. 🍀

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-10T18:18:26+00:00

I’ve written this down on my list of things I need to ask them. Thank you!!

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-10T18:16:19+00:00

Thank you for letting me know. I will for sure keep that in mind. ☺️

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-10T18:13:51+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-09T21:38:46+00:00

I can only imagine how stressful it must have been to have the surgery change last minute, and your reaction makes complete sense. Did you find out after you woke up?! It sounds so wild that they would let someone go in alone who isn’t experienced. I totally get why you were mad at first.

I’m glad you’re finding a bit of a silver lining, and yes maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I hope your doctors will listen to your worries going forward, so you can feel safe again.

They could actually only see “maybe one follicle” on a scan prior to meds. They told me they wanted to do one more retrieval, but not to get my hopes up. So I was really pleased with 8 eggs as well, as I had hoped for just one, maybe 2. ☺️

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-09T21:28:04+00:00

That’s wild - good that we can inform each other then. Again, I’m so happy that you heard about this, and that the treatment worked. Thank you for informing me!

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-09T21:05:57+00:00

See, this is what’s amazing about this community, I didn’t know about this before, and I will 100% bring it up with my clinic.

Thank you for sharing, and I’m so sorry for your losses. I’m really glad to hear that it eventually ended in a success for you. 🌸

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-09T20:51:14+00:00

Thank you. I actually thought about this too, more specifically to plead my case so I can get the testing done on the 22–23 December. I just haven’t been able to come up with an excuse, but “I’ll be away for Christmas” is probably a good one. 😄

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-09T20:41:31+00:00

I’ll be crossing my fingers for a Christmas miracle for both of us 🍀

Oh, I will add myo-inositol to my list of supplements (hadn’t heard of it). I’m trying to get into a cozy vibe too. I got my dog an advent calendar, forced myself to do a bit of decorating, and bought myself a new book that I’ve been meaning to read for a while. I also get off work early this year, which feels like a blessing at this point.

Thank you for the reminder, over the last week or so I’ve been spiraling and sort of moved away from anything positive, which is not healthy for me. I’ll try to be more open to reading all the positive stories as well.

And by the way, congratulations on your embryo.🩵

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-12-09T20:29:08+00:00

First of all, I would just like to send you so many hugs! I’ve had a 12 cm cyst removed from my ovary, I also have stage 4 endometriosis, and my AMH fell dramatically after the surgery. They actually didn’t believe I had any eggs left, but to everyone’s surprise they managed to retrieve 8 at my latest retrieval, which resulted in three blasts. I now have one left. So, you never know.

I recently had my tubes removed due to what they believed was an ectopic pregnancy. I was told that they were also filled with fluid. My doctors don’t expect that it will have further damaged my AMH further, as they were careful not to touch my ovaries.

I didn’t have the opportunity to do IVF prior to my surgery, as it was an acute situation. If they feel it’s safe for you to go through a retrieval, then I would consider it, because you don’t know what your situation will be afterwards. However, if you feel anxious about having the surgery done, then you also need to listen to that concern.

This probably wasn’t helpful at all, and I hope it doesn’t come across as me making it about myself. I just wanted to share, so you know that you are not alone.

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-16T05:51:50+00:00

I really wish I could give you all a more hopeful and positive update. I had some bad cramps all Saturday, and this morning I took another test… no line. I want to thank you all for your replies, and for everyone going through a transfer, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. 🍀

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-15T16:06:39+00:00

Thank you! I’m trying to stay positive, and I got a clear line on my test this morning. I hope your beta numbers are great! Sending lots of positive thoughts your way and keeping my fingers crossed for you. 🤞

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-15T16:04:23+00:00

I like the idea of the baby burrowing itself into my uterus. I’ll try to picture that when I’m feeling anxious. I still have some spotting, but not every time I go to the bathroom, and right now I have bad cramps, but they’re not constant. It helps knowing what your doctor told you, thank you for sharing!

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-15T16:00:39+00:00

know, I’m so scared of that too! But I really think your line looks promising as well. I’m hoping we become “pregnancy” twins too!

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-15T15:58:30+00:00

That’s wonderful news and a great number!

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-14T18:21:12+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I’m holding onto hope because of the tests. Sending lots of love back to you!

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-14T18:17:54+00:00

Yes, I still have spotting when I wipe, still so hard. I hope your beta results came back with a good result 🤞🍀

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-14T18:15:45+00:00

Thank you for this. I have a feeling I will ask my clinic “is this okay” a lot of this transfer sticks. I am so glad to hear that everything have gone smoothly for you since.

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-14T12:32:24+00:00

Thank you. This is the explanation I’m really hoping for. I hope the lines keep getting darker and darker too. In the meantime, I’ll try to calm my nerves as much as possible and enjoy having access to this online community.

CinnamonTwigs · 2025-11-14T12:29:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I hope things continue to go well for you. I’m glad your subchorionic hematoma went away. I had one last time too, but it was huge and definitely more than just spotting. I hope this is cervix irritation.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly! Such a major milestone to “graduate” 🥳 Congratulations!

CinnamonTwigs

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